SD's Fifth Birthday
Dear God in Heaven just when I thought this kid couldn't demand any more attention.
Someone please tell me if this is normal or over the top. I think it's over the top but I may be biased.
SD turned 5 yesterday. We don't make a huge production out of the kids birthdays. We let them choose whatever they want for dinner on their actual birthday and do a party that weekend for extended family, again, with a menu they have helped select. We do presents and cake and all that at the family party though we do let them open one or two presents on their actual birthday and I baked cupcakes for SD to take to preschool to share with the class yesterday.
For the last few weeks every single day SD has asked how many weeks until her birthday. Every. Single. Day.
I went in her room to wake her up yesterday with the standard "Happy Birthday!!!" routine and discovered that she had wet her bed which she hasn't done for months. So I have to get her in the shower and strip her bed in addition to the standard morning routine and also carve out time for BM to call her for the grand total of 1 minute and 29 seconds she spent talking to her daughter on her birthday. We still managed to get everybody to school on time.
At school she got to pass out her cupcakes and the class sang her happy birthday. After school we went outside so the kids could play on the playground for awhile and she was telling random moms on the playground it was her birthday. She told DD9's guitar teacher it was her birthday. Even the cashier at Walgreens. She had to tell the cashier at Walgreens that it was her birthday. We get back in the car and she says "can we call Grandma so she can tell me Happy Birthday?" This was after grandma had had a bouquet of flowers delivered to her at preschool on her birthday. We get home and she starts crying because everyone isn't coming over for her party that day. We explained to her that everyone was coming over for her party on Saturday but that didn't stop the tears. She opened a present, which was a board game, and we all sat down and played it while the homemade pizzas she had requested for dinner cooked. At one point she looks at me and says "you can call me birthday girl all day because I'm the birthday girl." Ummmmm......no. We walked into school today and she immediately goes running up to one of her teachers and says "I'm having two birthdays!!!!!"
I get it. She's 5. Kids that age are excited about their birthday. But jesus god. She was not this over the top about it last year. At some point kids have to come to the conclusion that they are not the center of the universe.
Is this over the top attention seeking or am I a stick in the mud?
Ok, thank you. I will try
Ok, thank you. I will try and not let it bother me.
The crying is too much, but
The crying is too much, but the rest, at least in our family, is normal.
We talk about the kids birthdays weeks in advance and they pretty much get spoiled the entire weekend before or after their birthday (which ever we choose). Not with a lot of gifts, but they get to pick dinners and can choose to go to the park or beach or whatever is in our budget. I love my birthday and I'm a lot older than 5.
Maybe part of it is that we
Maybe part of it is that we just never made a huge deal about birthdays in our family. It wasn't a weekend let alone a week long affair. We got what we wanted for dinner on our actual birthday and extended family came over for a party on the weekend and that was pretty much it.
DD9 was invited to a birthday party for a classmate this year. Her parents had rented out a conference room at a hotel for a pool party. It was Paris themed with eiffle towers, eclairs, other French inspired food and decorations, door prizes and I don't know what all else. I bet they spent $2000 on that party easy. I just can't even imagine.
My SD will be 6 very soon;
My SD will be 6 very soon; she talks about her birthday year round. ALL year round. Even when it's someone else's birthday, she will ask her when her birthday is. She'll ask how many more months, ask what we're going to do, get excited. It's just kids at that age.
none of us take offense.
Haha, kids! I personally
Haha, kids! I personally don't ever remember being that excited about my birthday at that age… but some kids are!
I remember being excited sure
I remember being excited sure but not to the point that I was going up to strangers and telling them it's my birthday just so people will wish me a happy birthday.
I agree with you on that, I
I agree with you on that, I was always told never to talk to strangers anyways…
We've taken SD11 to Disney a
We've taken SD11 to Disney a few times for her b day. She gets a button that says It's My Birthday. All day workers at Disney will wish her a happy birthday. When she was younger she loved it. I think she's over it now though.
I think it's all pretty
I think it's all pretty normal at that age.
One of her classmates
One of her classmates (remember, this is preschool) had his party at the local moon bounce place with invitations that went out to the entire class plus who knows how many kids and pizza for everybody and goody bags. Good lord. I can't even imagine all that for a birthday party but I guess some people like doing that kind of thing.
I guess the way our family is organized is different than most blended families. We generally think of the kids as our kids. They both live with us full time. DD9's sperm donor passed away 5 years ago so he isn't a factor at all and SD sees her mother every other weekend or so but hasn't seen her for about a month because BM didn't take either spring break or this past weekend like she was scheduled to. They're both just our kids and we try to keep stuff like this as equal as we can. DD got cupcakes to take to school on her birthday 2 weeks ago and so SD gets to as well. BM sure as hell wasn't going to do it.
The party you descibed is
The party you descibed is very normal and has been for decades. My son will be 24 this fall. Growing up he had parties at Chuck E Cheese, bowling roller skating rinks, laser tag places,mini golf....he would invite his whole class,boys from scouts, and some friends from the neighborhood. They would have pizza, cake,ice cream,drinks and we gave each kid a goodie bag.
I'm always surprised when people act like this a all a new phenomenon. Parents have been doing this forever.
It's pretty normal, but I'd
It's pretty normal, but I'd caution you to stop feeding into it too. My son just turned 6 and he was VERY excited.
I swear he made some crap up just to make "6" even more special. ("Mom, I don't like PB&J any more. I did when I was 5, but now that I'm 6 I like grilled cheese. And I can ride my bike on the street now, because you have to be 6 to ride on the street." *eye roll* I just said, "OK" and waited a few days before giving him another PB&J. I also told him he'd have to be 8 to "ride on the street". *lol*)
However, sounds like you guys really do make a very big deal out of birthdays, and that's putting it sort of "over the top" here. Cupcakes for school, flowers, special dinners, a weekend party, a morning "birthday" routine, special birthday phone call with BM, helping with planning for days before hand, presents on two different days - that stuff adds up. I think you can do SOME of it, but it sounds like ALL of it is just too much excitement at this age. 4-5 year olds are pretty narcissistic creatures anyway, and involving her so much in the planning reinforced that I think. I'd make a big deal on the actual DAY, but involve her less (or not at all) in the planning. You know what food she likes, just do that!
Just to clarify, there isn't
Just to clarify, there isn't a birthday morning routine. I meant making her take a shower and stripping the bed due to wetting the bed was in addition to the standard getting ready for school morning routine. Though getting to talk to BM was a special birthday thing.
But I agree, the flowers were kind of ridiculous.
I will keep your comments in mind for next year and just make up the menu for her party on my own. I think you made a good point.
Yeah a bit of both. Last year
Yeah a bit of both.
Last year for SDs birthday we were on our way out and discovered a big day event in our local town, an all day event. We decided to stay there rather than carry on with where we were headed, only downside is SD was convinced it was all for her birthday. Shes already starting to ask if we can do the same this year. Oops
I fear that society has done
I fear that society has done a number on parents thinking that they have to out-do each other for these birthday celebrations to prove how much they love their little babies.
A friend of mine had her daughters bday party last year at the local upscale function hall. It's a gorgeous location on the lake. Weddings at this venue START at $250/person. There were over 100 people, full floral decorations and giant balloon arches. Professional photographer to capture every precious moment.
It was her first birthday. Yes, you read it right....FIRST!!! I never heard the final numbers but I'm fairly certain that the party cost more than my wedding 6 months ago at the local country club.
Can you imagine what this child is going to expect for her sweet 16?