Hello everyone.

I have been searching for a stepparenting community for awhile now.

I have BD who just turned 9 and a SD who will be 5 on Wednesday. My fiance has custody of SD so she lives with us full time which means, given the hours he works, I am her primary caregiver. She is supposed to go see her mother down state every other weekend and for some holidays but BM was supposed to have her for spring break the week before last and didn't take her claiming she had to work and was supposed to have her this past weekend but didn't take her and tried to get out of any weekend she is scheduled to have her when SD has dental work done she says because she wants SD to heal and get feeling better but I'm pretty sure it has more to do with BM not wanting to have SD if there is any actual parenting involved rather than just happy happy fun time.

We have had some behavior problems with SD and that combined with some delays in development led us to consult with a child psychiatrist who referred us to the local hospital for further testing and evaluation. We are going through that whole process now and hopefully we can get some answers and help. There is, obviously, much more to this story than that but didn't want to bore everyone with all the details. Suffice it to say my suspicion of developmental problems has caused major problems between me and the in laws. Turns out I was right. The psychiatrist said SD has pretty apparent ADHD, her speech is delayed by about a year, she has some anxiety, and is showing signs of being on the spectrum but we do not know yet whether it is enough to classify her as being on the spectrum or not. We have an ADOS test scheduled for Thursday so we will see.

I'm looking forward to getting to know the community and hopefully find some support and offer support to others in this crazy role of step parenting that we find themselves in.