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Who's Secretely Planning an Escape?

ClutterMusings's picture

Submitted by ClutterMusings on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 10:20am

Forums: 
General Discussion

Is anyone secretly planning to escape? Are you trying to genuinely make marriage and step-life work, but fear the end is inevitable at some point?

If so, what are you doing to protect yourself and biokids (if you have them) in the meantime?

Just curious Blum 3

dood's picture

Submitted by dood on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 4:04pm

Good for you, Sunny. That's the way to do it. Expect the best and oodles of love and happiness, but be smart enough to know things can take a turn, and if that happens, you're not screwed. It takes the pressure off to have that sense of an out, an Ace in the hole, in the event..... I do the same thing, no real debt, and lots of savings. If something had to give, although I might be heartbroken, I won't be financially dependent. Nothing wrong with that.

Stormyweather's picture

Submitted by Stormyweather on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 7:40pm

I'm trying to restrain my judgement but why try for a baby and not get married when you think your fiancé may turn? Why bring an innocent child into your world when you have doubts? I'm old fashioned yes, and I'm divorced with kids so I can't talk, but I had no doubts what's so ever when we married and had kids 4 years later ( although being only 21 at the time can make any one naive in thinking it will last for ever)

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 1:32pm

This topic makes me very sad. From my perspective rather than engage with a toxic partner and having to escape later it is better to have much higher standards and confidence and avoid the toxic morons in the first place.

I wish I had this clarity before I married my toxic skank whore cavern crotched XW.

But ... the good news is we can learn from our experiences and not repeat those mistakes.

Live it up once you leave ladies. And don't settle for a toxic ball-less non-man dipshit with prior relationship baggage the next time.

Take care of yourselves.

Stormyweather's picture

Submitted by Stormyweather on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 7:44pm

Yes this is my take on things too Rags and why I questioned one posters desire to have children with the man she doubts will be in for the long haul, and isn't looking to spend money marrying him but buying an investment condo instead. Sounds totally uncommitted to me and yet is trying for a baby? Why? So that kid ends up sharing their tine 50/50 with the rest of the single parent kids?? Old fashioned yes... But don't have kids thinking that's less than the commitment of getting married to the man you have doubts about but who you love???

ClutterMusings's picture

Submitted by ClutterMusings on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 2:43pm

Sadly, sometimes it takes marrying, procreating, and living with a spouse for a while to realize....WTH????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grrrrr!

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 3:33pm

At the moment all extra money I'm siphoning out of our account is going straight to the things I need for our baby. I don't plan to leave, our relationship is pretty great and he's a great dad, but I have it easy for now. SS is too young to be anything but complacent in each house as he stays there but I have a feeling in his teen years there will be havoc as he is a 50% his mothers child and when those incident happen I'm going to take myself away for a beach weekend with my little bundle. Planning for the future, always.

ase_this1's picture

Submitted by ase_this1 on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 3:57pm

I had my own secret savings account with quite a bit in there until she applied for food stamps. They looked up my income and she blew a gasket. Yep, I turned out to be the bad one in that argument too. I should have turned out to be a deadbeat, lol.

Stormyweather's picture

Submitted by Stormyweather on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 7:47pm

Because you are the bad one!! How dare you stash $$ away while your wife has to apply for food stamps!!! Dead beat!! There....I called you it first!! You don't need to wait for others to call you it!

ase_this1's picture

Submitted by ase_this1 on Sat, 04/11/2015 - 9:54am

Well she applied without my knowledge. I learned of it after the fact. Shame on me for starting an emergency fund.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 4:19pm

I am not planning an escape, but because of your post I now have the "Pina Colada Song" in my head...

positivelyfourthstreet's picture

Submitted by positivelyfourt... on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 4:40pm

"It was my own lovely lady....

So I blew.. out her brains!

If you like Pina Coladas..."

overitsm87's picture

Submitted by overitsm87 on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 6:06pm

Planning mini escape for bday. Initial plan was to take skids to Tahoe with me for a few days. BUT they showed they were little shits again so will wait til last minute and go with just hubby. Id rather stay home for my bday than reward them with a vacation and be stuck with them on a day that should be enjoyable for me.
*cheers*

canigetabm's picture

Submitted by canigetabm on Fri, 04/10/2015 - 6:19pm

Waves hand wildly!!! Me, me and its almost here.....My SO wanted to go to a trade show in Vegas, oh boo-hoo I can't go its my BF's bridal shower Saturday. SO hints I don't know what I will do with SD15 if I go? Me either SO - I have plans. Maybe you should take her with you for some one on one time. LOL! (secret: get her the f out the house remark so I am by myself). SO says idk if you can bring kids? Yep right here on the website, kids 16 & under w/an adult at all times........BYE SO BYE SD - have a great weekend! I know I will!!!!!!....So I guess I'm not really escaping, they are LOL! But I figure I get to do whatever I want all weekend! No SD15.....yippee!