Mil kindly told me in her own way I was fat.
Today was the second day in a row my mil told DH he was fat. She said he never been that fat. He said he was still wearing his size 36 jeans with a belt. She said bs. Ok. This is why I think she was satin this towards me. He wears the same clothes since I met him. The scale says he weighs the same. Now i on The other hand am in a size 16 jeans (tight but gets better when I squat a couple of times) , wearing xl shirts that I stretch out.. When I met him I was in a size 11 or 12 jeans and wore a medium to a large. I weighed 165lbs on my wedding day and now I am topping the scale at 220lbs. I got muffin top boobs because my bras are tight. I just know she was refering to me about the fat. Maybe I'm wrong and it's mental but I feel like she was saying that to him to hint at me to lose weight because I hurt her eye sight. Am I over thinking this ?
Not satan , saying ..lol
Not satan , saying ..lol
Yep, ignore her, she isn't
Yep, ignore her, she isn't worth the effort.
For some reason mil's think that normal rules of politeness don't apply to them. My MIL and grand-MIL have both told me that I am too skinny (I am decidedly not, I was overweight but now am a normal weight for my height, was told i was too skinny both times). And they don't mean it trying to flatter me, they truly believe it and think I should put on some weight. I am beginning to find it rather offensive. I however have more class than them and have yet to point out to them that they are both obese. If they tell me one more time that I am too skinny though I might just let them know that it is them with the weight problem not me. I mean no one with any sort of sense of decency should be commenting about someone else's weight. Isn't that something we learn as a kid that it is rude?
I wish there was a magic pill
I wish there was a magic pill to make me perfect but there isn't. I use to go hungry when I was a kid and went hungry when I was single. Now I actually eat and it's good. It did hurt my feelings because I don't want to be this big. Guess it's a mental thing
My husband says she speaks
My husband says she speaks her mind. Maybe I should speak my mind but h may get mad for hurting his older mom that retired and old now to him. I think she isn't that old but uses it for an excuse. I
Not gonna let her hurt our feelings. I know I'm chunky but she is too. She wears bigger clothes than me. I know because I hemmed her pants one time.
I don't understand why some
I don't understand why some old women suddenly feel like they have earned the right to be outrageously rude and judgmental just because they have lived a few years more than someone else and then they can just laugh it off. Then of course it is just excused by everyone around them that they are just old and crotchety and we mustn't upset them because they hold a respected position. It irritates me more and more.
She also said something that
She also said something that caught my attention. She told him to take some advice on loosing weight from his STEPSON. That's my son. He lost a lot of weight but he had too. But that's not what bothered me. What bothered me about that was she calls my son his stepson (which he is and I know) but she refers to his x step kid as his daughter. She also has his ex step kids photos up and not mine or my sons. I don't care and it never bothered me until I notice her rudeness I get to notice her character. She also has figurines his ex wife gave her from past Christmases . It's like I'm noticing her intentions. This woman doesn't like me and no matter how hard I try to make her like me, I can't be his biological kid and his ex step kids mom. I can't be me poofy. That's the way I'm feeling.
You can't make some one like
You can't make some one like you. You know how she feels (she's entitled to her feelings)so keep your distance.
Give up trying to make her
Give up trying to make her like you. Not everyone in this world will like everyone else. Maybe she didn't want her son to divorce her exDIL (the BM) because...she likes those figurines. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. Only YOU can stop allowing her to ruin your day.
I have a SIL who doesn't like one single member of my family. NOT ONE. It used to bother me. One day, I seriously asked myself why it bothered me that this MAJOR beeyotch didn't like me (us). She has purposely tried to anger my father (knowing he has a heart condition). She acts like she's the Queen of England (tho I'm sure the Queen has better manners) and sticks up her nose at all of us as if we all walk around in shitcovered shoes. WTF EVER. She grew up trailer trash. Kudos to her for putting herself through school and getting a good job. Regardless that is was all so she could snag a $$$ hubby and have kids and be a SAHM. Whoop-dee-doo. I'm over it. I'm polite to her but what she thinks about me is less important than what a mosquito thinks when it's deciding whether or not to bite me. I'd rather hang with the mosquito.
HA! Awesome
HA! Awesome
"no matter how hard I try to
"no matter how hard I try to make her like me" - stop trying to make her like you. Sometimes in life you just have to accept that you are not going to get on with a specific person. Stop wasting your time and as is often said on ST, disengage. In this case do it from your MIL.
My parents are far more
My parents are far more direct than your MIL. If DW or I put on weight they directly address their concerns about our health and say something.
I would rather have the direct discussion than the beat around the bush bullshit.
When someone says something
When someone says something that hurts your feelings, it's ok to say, "Hey, that was mean. You're hurting my feelings. I don't want to talk about this." And change the subject. Or sit there in uncomfortable silence. But do NOT let them talk about it. Just repeat and repeat and repeat.
What this does is establish a clear boundary. It's very difficult, because one of the reasons you're in this situation is that you are nice. Possibly too nice, caring about making things nice for others even while they aren't being nice to you. But setting this boundary will help a lot.
It will let MIL know that your weight (and your husband's weight, and your son's weight, etc) are not a topic she can discuss with you. It also will help you feel stronger and more confident, because by simply not discussing this with MIL, you are standing up for yourself and for your family. You are proving to yourself that who you are, what you care about, matters.
Don't worry if it takes several tries. You are very nice and your MIL is very overbearing. It's an uphill battle.
Nope, the bitch is making fat
Nope, the bitch is making fat comments because you gained weight. It would be "mean" of her to say anything to you so she's claiming your DH got fat as her way of making a weight dig because she KNOWS damn well it's going to make you think about your weight.
People with no filter really
People with no filter really tick me off--
--Old people who think they can get away with it
--Children who are not told or shown how to act
--Assholes who just don't care
LOL---I would like to put a public service announcement out there to all these people who think they need to tell you about it:
If a person gains weight, I assure you that they are well aware of the situation-no need to tell them. So save your time and put your business in a more pressing situation such as your own life!!!!!!!!!!!!!