Tired of excuses for bad behavior

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I'm just so tired of hearing DH explain away SKIDS bad behavior because they have not been taught life skills by BM and he has not been around for 2 years to teach them anything. I'm sorry, did I miss something? Now I have to tolerate been treated like shit because of bad parenting? Am I expecting too much from SD15 and SD11? Reason I ask is 1. Back to the way they did not wish me happy birthday for my birthday, but can wish a old acquaintance of ours well on their marriage. 2. Can in the same breath crtisize the same acqaintance for rushing into a marriage yet their BM does exactly the same thing time after time? Am I just a pathetic SM and taking everything way to personally and I should just suck up the false rude behavior ? How do you handle the pathetic excuses DH comes up with to excuse the SKIDS behavior.

Why didn't you go to the

Why didn't you go to the police?

11 & 15 are both plenty old

11 & 15 are both plenty old enough to be held accountable to pleasant behavioral standards regardless of them having POS parents or not.

So, hold them accountable. Bring the pain.

I do not tolerate excuses for rude behavior. I just bring consequences that get the attention of those with the idiot behavior and I escalate the consequences until they either gain clarity or they crash and burn.

You do realize that your DH is the problem in all of this. He has tolerated this crap and now he is exposing his bride to it. Dh, is an idiot.

IMHO of course.

Thanks peeps. I don't feel

Thanks peeps. I don't feel completely ridiculous

I had to leave the house

I had to leave the house today and go out on my own as I feel I'm been blamed for spoiling everybody's day. Too pissed to be around them. Feeling ganged up against and blamed for everything that is wrong in our home. Very disappointed with DH lack of support for me. I can't believe he stood up for their lies instead of supporting me . Don't even know what to say.

Divorce is not an option I

Divorce is not an option I want to look at.

No you peeps aren't harsh.

No you peeps aren't harsh. Sometimes it's just a harsh reality. Got a hate mail text from SD 15 saying I must never come back. How horrid I am. But, not going to even respond. Truth hurts when you court out lying. Not say I'm all innocent and they wakeful. I know I have my faults. I don't know how to fix this. We have a session on Wednesday with the therapist. Will see what comes of that. Probably not much.. My hope is so low right now. Showed the hate mail SD sent me to DH. He said nothing.

She Ran to BM long time ago.

She Ran to BM long time ago. Yeah, well I think BM typed it, as she has many times before. Whatever. DH seems to be sleeping in the lounge tonight. Clearly I can't sleep with all this shit. Gloriously messed up day. Freaken start at minus again. I don't know. I don't have the knack for this really hard life. I'm going to be wrong no matter what.

So I've typed up a response.

So I've typed up a response. Hard but factual. ..... Maybe I should post SD's message here and my response?

SD15 text: I do not

SD15 text: I do not appreciate the way you have left my sister at all.
you are a horrible, horrible person and honestly you do not have ANY leg to stand on.
you didnt even have the common decency to invite my dads daughters to your wedding.

you married my dad knowing he had two daughters, and to be quite honest with you, you are the reason things are so bad.

Dont come back. dont.
you have spoiled my sisters entired day and she is absolutely distraught.

My dad has chosen your side on countless occasions, so its absolute crap that he never stands up for you.

you need to grow up megan. It is YOUR marriage, and Kristyn and I are not the reason for your, or my moms marrital problems.

Stop trying to blame other people and actually admit your wrongs.

your 40 years old for crying out loud.

grow up. GROW UP.

My response I would want to

My response I would want to send: I did not leave your sister in anyway. Ask her if I apologized for messing up the whole day to her face in the car! You the one that ran away and left her.

I did not make the choice not to invite both of you to our wedding. Why is that my fault? You choose to blame me regardless of finding out the truth. You hate me for this and I'm not the one who had anything to do with it. Is that even fair? Secondly Kristyn would not fly even though your dad tried to convince her. Thirdly, you guys chose to move to PE. You chose to not speak to your dad and cut us out of your life. You left without a proper goodbye. You hurt him deeply. Ask your dad why you were not there.

I have 2 legs to stand on actually. You lied about forgetting my birthday, when you were actually pissed off with me because you concocted in your head that I said your hair was ugly, which is untrue and your dad told you I did not say that. Secondly your dad said you told him that you did type something then deleted it. Why lie?
I know I married your dad and that he has two daughters. I've tried to make you feel a part of our family and welcome, but that never counts, only what I do wrong counts. I'm human I will make mistakes, just like you. Stop holding everything against me when you choose to lie.

Your said mom blamed you for her failed marriage countless times, which what you told us, you said that....all I said was maybe she is right because I was mad. Which was nasty. So I apologise for saying that. Sorry. You are not to blame for any marriage failure. Adults are to blame. It has nothing to do with children, which you are. A child.

I know your dad has stood up for me. I never said he does not. But he stood up for you when you lied, today, that is wrong. So I will stand up for myself against that.

The thing is, I don't blame people for my issues, I deal with them. If dealing with the truth makes you uncomfortable then you need to figure out how you want to live your life. As a liar that pushes people away and blames them when you get caught out, or someone who actually accepts that they human and get angry and do things that hurt other people, and is prepared to apologise.

I'm not going anywhere. So how about You grow up and get used to it.

Today was a mess up, mainly my fault. I admitted and for that I apologise for. Sorry. I was angry because of the lies.

I'd appreciate if you would quit lying to me, and if you pissed off with me at least have the decency to speak to me about it.
I also don't expect you to like me as I was never a planned part of your life, and I do understand that this is not how things are meant to be, but at least just be honest and not false, I see right through that. It's just hurtful.

You can choose how you want to deal with this. But I'm here whether you like it or not. Your choice on how grown up you want to be about this.

Cool thanks. The whole adult

Cool thanks. The whole adult respect thing, that's not going to fly. DH thinks because I lack experience ( don't have bio kids) I don't really have a respect thing. Nice. I know, he has so much to learn

Nope, I would not send that.

Nope, I would not send that. First of all, none of this is going to be resolved by texting. Secondly, you do not owe her explanations for anything.

You cannot reiterate that she is a child and then tell her to grow up and that it's her choice on how grown up she wants to be about this.

Actually, nothing in this response is going to make anything better. I think she has issues with both of her parents and you are the scapegoat.

I slammed the car door

I slammed the car door because I was pissed, and that upset them... That is how I spoilt there day.

I slammed the car door

I slammed the car door because I was pissed, and that upset them... That is how I spoilt there day.

I'm guessing there is a lot

I'm guessing there is a lot more going on because not recognizing my birthday has never bothered me at all and I sure wouldn't care about the other thing.

However, if my SD ever sent me a message telling me how horrid I am and that I should never come back to my own home, she would be the one never coming back. And my DH would agree.

Maybe your DH has not been in their lives the past 2 years to teach them anything but he can start teaching them now and he sure as hell can teach them at least one thing: that their disrespect will NOT be tolerated.

Yeah, so over the birthday

Yeah, so over the birthday thing... So do I send that reply?

No.

DH is been an ass and

DH is been an ass and sticking up for SD's lies.

And then they wonder why I'm

And then they wonder why I'm pissed

Cool. Sorry saw what you

Cool. Sorry saw what you wrote only after I typed. Thanks. Will try sleep on it. What a messed up day!

I therapy session on

I therapy session on Wednesday is going to be awesome for sure. Will keep you entertained.

Mmmh, I might like it.

I would not get in a texting

I would not get in a texting war with her AT ALL. I would not defend myself to her or apologize to her (unless your truly owe her an apology for something and I wouldn't do it in a text).

Your DH is messed up if he thinks you do not deserve respect from these two just because you don't have kids. My DH would have had my SD's hide if she EVER treated ANY adult like this (anybody, really, adult or not). And she knew it.

Your DH is obviously part of the problem and until he can do something about it, he can see them elsewhere (I am assuming they don't live with you?).

Yup, he is part of the

Yup, he is part of the problem.. . Hence therapy. I think I will leave the texting. See what the therapist said.

Good for you. I'm still in

Good for you. I'm still in the hopeful stage. By the way things are going, I'll be over that sooner than I thought!

But there is good news...

But there is good news... Seems DH has realized he was soooooooo wrong by supporting Sd15 with her lies and apologized for the way he handled it. Also , SD 11 came around today while I was at work.... the hate mail was from BM not SD15. So thank you, ditsybldn, I took your advise! Have blocked them now. where would I be without such an awesome bunch of people like yourselves.