So, my husband and I met 5 years ago. We had both been married the first time for 20+ years. Both of our first marriages ended in divorce. We both were remarried and both of our spouses were diagnosed with pancretic cancer. My late husband survived just 10 months. His late wife survived 20 months. I had been married the 2nd time 10 years and had two step children, who I remain close to, but they live 500 miles from me. He was married the 2nd time for just 2 years and had a stepson and a step daughter and they live within an hour from us. The other bit of history is that he has a son from his first marriage from whom he is estranged.

For five years I have reached out to his stepdaughter. I have sent birthday cards, given a gift basket when she moved into her new home. She was single for the first three years we were together and going to nursing school so almost every other weekend we had babysitting duty for her son. She met a man two years ago and they were married. We hardly get called for babysitting duty anymore. She never calls on my H birthday or Fathers Day but lists him as her Father on Facebook. She never calls just to chat or to invite us for a barbeque or to just come down and visit. It's always when she needs something or she is experiencing her crisis dujour.

I got sick right after the holidays (pneuomonia) and had been out of work for 3 weeks. I went back to work but was just exhausted. She called and said her husband was having back surgery and could we take all three boys (when she married she got another boy and then had a baby right away, plus her other son) I told my H that it just wasn't a good weekend. I was still not feeling well. I asked why at age 37 she couldn't figure out how to arrange her work schedule so she could be home for the weekend (she is a nurse) My H just kept saying "how can we make it work for her?" For her? WTF? What about me. This is only one example of about a dozen when my preferences are always superseded by hers.

She has treated me rudely and almost with no respect. She was sullen at our wedding. When she does come to our house she never talks to me. When they have come for holiday dinners she hasn't as much as picked up a dish. This isn't a 13 year old little girl, this is a grown 30+ year old woman.

I finally told my H it's not that I don't want him to have a relationship with her, but it simply cannot include me. I have given and extended myself to her only to be rebuffed at every turn.

Am I crazy?