A Sincere apology.
Obviously, I jumped right in and made waves. While, I said the things I did, I am aware now that I made some mistakes. I don't know everyone's story, I don't know everyone's situation and I am completely wrong to judge.
I accept every negative and degrading comment made towards myself and my family thus far, as I just came right in like a tornado and stirred up emotions in all of you.
I can understand that this is a place to speak how you REALLY feel. A place to vent and let out the things that have taken over your head.
A place to bitch, and those of you who said my time will come. I am completely sure you are absolutely right. There are days where I am at my wits end, days where I want to give them all a come to jesus meeting, and tell em like it is.
I am not one of those, come to a forum, stir shit up and watch it burn. In fact, this is my first time joining a forum as I was looking for a place like most of you. A place to vent.
I was completely taken aback by all the negativity, until I looked outside the box and realized that though things are said here, it does not mean they are said in the real world.
So, as the newbie who started fires, I am politely coming around to attempt to put them out.
I understand I will have enemies. That's ok.
Nevertheless, I am truly sorry to anyone I offended.
You're all right, I am wrong. I had no write to come in on a whim and start judging. That is not the kind of person I am. However, we all make mistakes.
So, to those who stood beside me, Thank you. To those who stood against me, I can't blame you one bit.
Thanks for not treating me like complete shit. Seriously.
no right* damnit, I REALLY
no right*
damnit, I REALLY need to proof read.
Bullpucky. Not everyone who
Bullpucky. Not everyone who replied to your original post was correct. You were not "wrong."
Glad that you're sticking around.
<3
<3
What I wanted to say is that
What I wanted to say is that I enjoy reading a post which turns into a 4 page thread even if it gets overwhelming to read. You engaged the entire board. Good for you. I know that I checked back a few times to see if you'd commented.
It's kinda like Mairin and the "Incredible Wedding of the Royals." Good reading on a day when I'd rather curl up on my couch.
It's all good. We need different viewpoints and life experiences. Some of us curse like truck drivers letting off steam and some of us not so much. Some are BM/SM combos and some are SM only and some are ambulance chasers.
I will honestly say that I have learned a lot from these ladies and gentlemen. For instance, I had a situation today with my BS-13 and ex-DH and I used a bit of what I have learned from this diverse group to come to a different outcome. YEAH !
So, skip the hair-shirts and throw out a few "Mea Culpa's" to the ones who carry a grudge and keep on jumping right in ...
I am new as well and just had
I am new as well and just had combined terrible and great experiencing in my very first post, I have ever posted. I am glad to see there are people who have decency and kindness here. I hope you get good advice (I did from some) and make some positive, helpful connections. Good luck , to both of us !
I enjoyed reading all the
I enjoyed reading all the replies. There's some good stuff to fall back on.
I haven't been posting and
I haven't been posting and reading as much, so I missed it, but welcome to STalk.
I just got through skimming
I just got through skimming your two very long threads. No need to appologize IMHO though it is a sensitive gesture.
Everyone has their respective perspectives from the trials and tribulations of their own blended family experiences. Ours (mine and my brides) are primarily around mitigating the toxic influence of the shallow and polluted end of my Skid's gene pool which I think is what most of us struggle with to various degrees.
For the most part we remained on the same page as equity parents to the Skid and as equity life partners commited to our marriage and our family since we started dating when SS-22 was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo.
As for the STalker community, as a long time resident of STalk it is very clear to me that kids who have adults who set and inforce behavioral expectations generally acheive status as viable adults themselves and the blended family experience tends to be a reasonably positive one for all in the blended home. The challenge is to keep the adult relationship/equity life partnership at the core of the blended family as the priority for both adults in the home and for them to be equity parents to any spawn in the home regardless of spawn biology. This is challenging under even the best of circumstances but becomes infinately more difficult when the BioParent pretty much checks out on the parenting and enforcement of behavioral expectations on the kids leaving the Sparent to do it.
Many in this community do not agree that a Sparent is or should be an equity parent to the Skids in their home and opt for some level of disengagement to leave their SO to address the issues. Not my choice of tactics in managing my blended family life but it does work for some.
As our challenges were primarily in regard to my Skid's Sperm Clan my bride and I were fairly easily able to quickly become a team in dealing with and confronting their toxic bullshit. IMHO the only solution to working with the blended family opposition is a binary one. If they are reasonable work with them. If they are not reasoable ... destroy them. Pretty simple.
The key to successfully navigating the blended family adventure IMHO is the partnership between the SOs.
It sounds to me that your DH needs to step up, man up, and parent. You seem to have your perspectives fairly well formulated.
Welcome and good luck.
^^ a well witten, fair