Is it just me or does anyone else feel that by teaching kids to lie no matter how little is wrong?
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Is it just me or does anyone else have the strong opinion that teaching a child to tell other parent a lie is wrong? ex: Don't tell mom she will get mad even though we know it's wrong, it's our little secret?
I wholeheartedly agree with
I wholeheartedly agree with you.
And if your H is doing that, he's engaging in PAS (parental alienation syndrome) and that is not okay at all.
In my case, you would not believe the number of lies skid has told H and I over the years. Though she brings things up in conversation, you can always tell by the cadence of her speech pattern when she is lying. A wooden delivery means Uberskank fed her a "story" to tell us in order to squeeze money out of H.
Thanks I just get so fired up
Thanks I just get so fired up angry because he does not see that by telling the 16 y/o to lie to me is teaching him to lie!!!!! He will even think it's ok dad said I could ...one lie leads to another.....stop being a friend a be a parent!!! Ready to throw hands up in air ..
Totally wrong to do. What it
Totally wrong to do. What it teaches the child is that it's ok to lie. Ok? So what happens when they start lying about anything and everything to you? How does a parent discipline a child lying over something (ex: 'yes, Mom , I did my homework, 'no, Dad it was not me that made that mess' or larger 'no, Mom we would never go drinking and driving with the car'), when it's you, yourself who taught them to lie and that lying to sneak around or not get in trouble ('ssshhhh. it's a secret') ?
ya well this is the dad which
ya well this is the dad which is with me and goes behind my back.... I could deal with someone doing it out of house but my own man ............needless to say he is cut off..
exactly!!!!! but I am being
exactly!!!!! but I am being too hard on him and the boys...it's no big deal...my butt!!!! why is it that I am trying to teach them the right way to do things and me respectful and a man of your word, but the dad seems to think aww..heck you see what I am saying
Absolutely wrong...when DH
Absolutely wrong...when DH first moved in with me gave SD some money and told her not to tell me he gave it to her. She slipped up and told me and then was terrified she was going to get in trouble. She was 12 at the time. When DH got home I told SD to go up with her room and I told DH he basically was telling her that it was OK to lie to me and that he put me in a position to let it go (showing SD that it was no big deal to lie to me) or confront him (showing SD that she couldn't tell me anything without her perception of me running to her dad to rat her out). He felt like shit. Told her he was wrong, but it sent a precedence that lying and respecting me is not that important.
OMISSION OF THE TRUTH IS
OMISSION OF THE TRUTH IS STILL A LIE........EXAMPLE....OK I CHEATED ON YOU BUT IF I DON'T TELL YOU IT'S OK RIGHT?.....I DON'T THINK SO.......AS I SAID OMISSION OF THE TRUTH IS STILL A LIE!!!!!
Two words: SANTA CLAUSE I've
Two words: SANTA CLAUSE
I've given a lot of thought to lying after being married to a psychopath. We lie to kids when we tell them about Santa Clause. We lie to protect them sometimes. It really depends on what/whom the lie is serving.
There are a whole host of
There are a whole host of reasons and times when lying is a good idea or even polite and expected. The simplistic view that all lying is bad is for small children. As we get older we learn what type of lies are acceptable and even preferable to the truth. If you feel that lying in this circumstance is wrong then explain why and the kid can learn. Unfortunately life isn't the black and white we'd like it to be.
One lie I think most people would find acceptable:
"Tell mom we went to the park, so that she doesn't know we went to the store to buy her birthday present, it is our secret"
ok now that one I completely
ok now that one I completely agree with , but I would like to think that you would agree with me when you are the step parent and their Father tells them to not tell you something .....which you two have already agreed upon.. or you will get mad.... omission of the truth is still a lie...and he is teaching them ..in my eyes...dad has his back ....step mom means nothing..... what she does not know won't hurt her... that's all I am trying to say ....... ok another thing I would like yalls advice on ...rule here is ss can only have 3 kids stay overnight a time... well my grandson is here in crib in our room tonight....he's 2... rules.... no cussing what so ever!! He is 2 and picking up on every single word anyone says.... I had to tell dad ok one child needs to go......and no cussing and please be respectful of noise lil one is sleeping........cussing up a storm.... I told them several times....finally had my fill went in there and told him get up right now go tell them he said if it happens again...the next one who cussed goes home....second they can't respect noise they go home....I would not go back in there ....except to clear house...either grow a set and back me up or let me go!!! He knew I was serious ...he got up did as I asked... low and behold...no more trouble out of them....why couldn't they have done that with me....because he normally does not have my back until I blow and by that he is teaching them when I say something unless he says it himself to them....you know what I mean.... some kid just walked out front door....it's 1:37....really.......grrrr
am I wrong when there at my
am I wrong when there at my house , I am responsible for them......he is out on his sleeping pills...I am up to deal with these grrr kids....I am the bad one if I say something....but I am bout to blow!!! no one should leave this house after midnight....period....or come in which both happens... we have been over this before but I guess I will have to go it again tomorrow.... no one comes in or out after midnight no exceptions!!!!!''
ANYONE CARE TO BAIL ME OUT!!!
How old is this skid and his
How old is this skid and his friends?
Unless a special occasion (such as birthday sleepover), three friends staying over is two friends too many. One kid getting up and leaving the home in the middle of the night? No way. Call the stinkers mother/father and tell him/her to come get their kid. You can't just kick a kid out the door when they have bee invited over and the kid's parent/s think the kid is there and reasonably safe with an adult keeping an eye on what's going on. If the guest kid/s aren't behaving, call and have the kid/s picked up. You aren't running a fricking frat house for college boys.
Very rude and disrespectful to come to someone's home as a guest for the night and act like a it's not necessary to behave. Kids , yes they do make noise. But shutting them down at a certain hour is an acceptable request. Telling them to watch their mouths at all times while present in your home is also quite acceptable. Call the parents to come get them and this is the end of any overnights for SS for a while. He can't follow house rules, he can't have guest.
So your DH encourages the kids to lie to you AND let's them show your hoe no respect. Sounds very tempting to toss a bucket of cold water over your snoring husband's head to me.
I just tried all that woke
I just tried all that woke him up on his sleeping pill he said thanks for waking me up ...got him home he went in there and then his dad said its ok yall can go back there r u f ing serious....i am so beyond pissed n done not to mention 16 y/o started yelling in our bedroom at his dad woke up my 2 y/o grandson...............in tears I strongly dislike a lot of people right now ...mainly me............anyone feels the need to let me cry n vent please call 3184239322
wth is wrong with me!!! he
wth is wrong with me!!! he does this all the time....tells me to tell them no...call them,,,, get them back here...i do and he lets them do what the hell they want to do...........i am so stupid no more.....that 62 yr old can get someone else to kiss his butt.... i am done............last straw..when my daughter gets here tomorrow to get my lil man i am going with her........
It's a tough line. My SS has
It's a tough line. My SS has Aspbergers, so he is BRUTALLY honest about everything. If he is a guest eating at a friends house he would think nothing of proclaiming "Mrs. X, your cooking is horrible and I do not want to eat this. It smells bad and looks worse." So yes, we have had to teach him the fine art of the "white lie" in order to have any scrap of social grace.