Help for Christmas day
The holidays are stressful for just about everyone. Christmas is always tough for me because, as for most families, it was a big deal in my family of origin. Unfortunately, I've had no contact whatsoever with them for over a decade and this holiday is a huge reminder. Every year its a struggle to not spend the day grieving that loss. This year, I'm 8 months pregnant. I felt like I was just barely conquering the gift buying/wrapping, decorating, driving in traffic, etc. while getting 2-5 hours sleep/night, having constant back pain and preparing for the baby. Then, this morning, DH drops a bomb...the skids (SD12, SS14) will be here on Christmas day!
I'm in desperate need of some compassionate advice on how to deal. I'm disengaged and when they're here things are over the top tense. They ignore me until they want something and, to be the cool dad, DH also ignores me. A couple of weeks ago, during their visit, DH asked if I wanted to go pick out a tree. I calmly told him no thanks, I didn't want to hang out with the skids. That absolutely set him off. He went on a two day drinking bender and ignored me for a week.
Usually I just try to involve myself in other things and get out of the house during skid time. Of course that isn't so easy on Christmas day. DH is my only family so there is no where to run and I can't just have a few drinks to block it all out. I really feel like I need a plan so that I don't spend the whole day in bed crying. WTF do I do?!
^^ I was going to suggest the
I would get out a puzzle,
I would get out a puzzle, book or craft to work on.
"Just sitting over here at the folding table working on my puzzle and relaxing DH"
Or,
"I just took up cross stitch, look I'm making a kitchen towel that says :home is where the heart is" :sick:
A TWO-DAY drinking bender?
A TWO-DAY drinking bender? Your DH is an a$$hat. And an immature one at that. Did he think this announcement was a lovely surprise? I totally agree with GoAwayPlz - fake puking, hide snacks in your room and REST. I truly hope your DH grows up or you are in for more of these fun times.
Oh a Christmas day movie
Oh a Christmas day movie sounds nice. "The Interview" is out of the question, but I think there are others being released that day. Wish I lived closer. I would pick you up and we would totally do lunch and a movie! Even so, you could always do that by yourself if you have no friends available that day. I like those days out by myself. *hugs* Hang in there--it's almost over!
I remember being 8 months
I remember being 8 months pregnant. The only motivation to get up from my chair was to pee... no position particularly comfortable, but getting up and back down again was crap.
So. Plan ahead. If you can lounge on your bed all day, get ready. Lots of pillows so you can adjust. A thermos for your tea. Laptop plugged in and watchseries.ag dialed up - binge watch something. Make - or better yet, buy - some sandwiches, like from Subway. Buy two and have each half wrapped separately. If you're like me, have Tums handy - I burped constantly from 3 weeks until delivery. I was still chewing on Tums while in labour.
Take advantage of the internet. Order stuff online. Stuff for you, for the baby - I was told I wouldn't have time once the baby came, but I had no idea that the time for myself was a thing of the past.
Do you have any girl teen neighbours? Maybe someone would be willing to stop buy a couple of times and just do stuff you tell her. Like, help me up. Go get me some juice. Bring me some ice-cream (and pickles, perhaps?).
What you NEED right now is a slave. My DH stepped up at that time and fetch and carried like a trooper. He stopped whining about my complaining and just agreed with me.
Thank you all soooo much for
Thank you all soooo much for the input! I feel a little better just knowing someone has heard me and understands.
It feels really really weird to call a friend and ask to join their family celebration. Like bordering on inappropriate but that could just be my social anxiety talking. I hinted at it with my bestie but I think she sees Christmas as just for family.
I would LOVE to fake sick but that wouldn't stop him from having the skids here anyway and if by some miracle it did, we would both think I was being a real live grinch.
Love the movie idea so I'm doing it! I would like to go to a hotel too but that would create even more drama and I just can't handle it atm.
I've literally begged him to let me know when he knows what is going on with the schedule. He "forgets" most of the time. I often find out by overhearing the skids talking about it. Even they know before I do.
I have had to call the cops due to his drinking becoming life threatening, twice. Now he blames me for the legal bills even though the money came out of my account. I just can't win. He should be ashamed but he isn't.
Yes, mapping out the day and a bath is a good idea. The staying in my room thing is probably what's gonna happen and I will try out the headphones when I must venture out to get food. I was hoping to avoid the huddling in my room scenario as I already feel so lonely this time of year. How does that song go...you can't always get what you want.
OMG, please please PLEASE be
OMG, please please PLEASE be careful!! You've had to call the cops on him and you are VERY pregnant. This makes me afraid for you. I was married to an alcoholic.
disengage ALL THE WAY. that
disengage ALL THE WAY. that is the only option you have for the moment.
i would also think second thoughts about your husband. a two day bender is not mature for anyone, esp a father to be. do you want your child to be around a man who is a drunk and cant control his liquor?