We have 2 skids full time, they visit they're mother for a few days each school holidays as she lives in another state, we maybe get 20 - 25 days off a year overall. These kids mostly treat me like a maid and baby sitter and quite honestly, my SO expects me to be that too them. I have no say, no control and don't dish out any discipline, if they make a mess I'll ask them to clean it up, and they usually throw back some insult at me, and leave the mess anyway. This morning was usual story, SS13 decided to cook himself eggs for breakfast, then walked away leaving dirty pan on stove, egg shells on sink, as well as the rest of the eggs out, oil out, and dirty plate after he ate them on table. I called him back to clean it up and he replied with some smart ass remark about me cracking the shits and left the room without clearing it up. I said to SO to tell him to keep his shit under control, and SO says to me, your always on at him, what do you expect.....what I expect is for filthy kids to clean up their god damn mess without giving me a mouthful of crap about it.

I'm at my wits end, this type of thing occurs on a daily basis, no say, no control, yet on weekends while SO works on Saturday, I'm expected to chauffer them to friends house's hand over money so they can buy junk food while out with friends, I do all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the washing, never get a word of thanks from anybody including SO and then I'm just expected to shut the fuck up when I have an objection. SO has also taken it upon himself just to not bother coming home on Friday nights, instead preferring to hang out with his mates drinking at his work place, while I go home and make dinner for his children. Then yesterday both skids were out with friends, and we had opportunity for a few kid free hours to ourselves, and he chose to go and spend it at his mates place, then lied about where he was when he got home, because he knew I was pissed about him doing that.

Can I disengage from these kids without moving out, or should I just admit defeat and leave. I've given it everything I have for almost 2 years, and I still don't get an ounce of respect from either of them or my SO.