Anyone else skipping adult skid xmas?

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So yesterday the topic of xmas came up with DH and he said that he talked to SD and she said she thinks she can be polite and cordial if I go with DH to visit at xmas.

I was flabbergasted. The past few Christmas's she had been mean and rude. I have no intention of spending ANY of my holidays with SD. I told Dh This and he was shocked that I would skip xmas with yhe sgkids and Sd and her DH.

I used an analogy I learned here on stalk. If a dog bites your leg every time it sees your leg STOP showing your leg and STOP seeing this dog LOL.

I think I can Instead of the

I think I can

Instead of the little engine that could, you'll probably get the little engine that said fuck it.

She "thinks" she can be

She "thinks" she can be polite? Tell DH you'll go once she's spent a year or two PROVING it instead...

I am definitely stressing

I am definitely stressing about Christmas this year. My BF's two kids never get him any presents, even though they admit spending *hours* wrapping Christmas presents for their mom and other people. I don't care if they don't get me anything, because I don't want anything from them. But they should definitely get their dad something.

Last Christmas the older son and his b**** girlfriend were loud and rude, and I was basically ignored the whole time. I am thinking I might try to find some volunteer work to do, and let my BF have alone time with his kids. I honestly want no part of the whole thing!

I think you should do what makes you happy this Christmas, instead of worrying what makes other people happy! Life is too damn short.

Yes how wonderful that she

Yes how wonderful that she *thinks* she can be polite. No thank you!

Wish I thought of that answer

Wish I thought of that answer LOL. Love it.

THIS Rising2 right on.

***THIS***

Rising2 right on. I spend time with people who want me there, not just MAYBE tolerare me!

I would just rather skip it,

I would just rather skip it, as the only purpose is to give her gifts, not really to celebrate the holiday. She will visit or we will visit her, if she's not living with BM, so that we can give her and her kids their gifts and that's it. She does not even get us a card.

Last year, we stopped buying her expensive gifts and just got her a couple small things, along with gifts for the boys. She came over to get them and guess what? Her gift is still at our house. I guess she will get it again this year. }:)

To answer your question,

To answer your question, we're not "skipping" it, but we are dialing it WAY back. The SD's have been used to getting "spoiled" on xmas, we've gotten them multiple gifts (usually one big one and several small ones) each in past years. In return, we usually get something from a Dollar Store. (Yes, literally. One gift each that costs a dollar - I've seen them for sale.)

Fortunately for me, DH has said "no more!" So I don't have to be the bitch. He will be getting each adult skid one gift each and it will NOT be extravagant. Not sure how this is going to go over.... }:)

We will get SGS more than one gift I think though. Christmas should be magical for kids, and we both enjoy shopping for the little ones.

My spoiled skids get more in

My spoiled skids get more in their stocking than my daughter gets as a gift. But then my daughter is well adjusted and fends for herself and doesn't depend on others to support her. They come over on XMAS eve late then we get up the next morning and they open up all their gifts and they leave right after. Last year they didn't even go to SO's family dinner, they were tired! Actually, it was nice for the rest of the family to see how spoiled and unappreciative they are. I suppose we will do the same this year. My daughter has moved to east coast so I won't be seeing her this year at XMAS at all. SO and I are going away for week between XMAS and New Year's.

I "think" DH can spend Xmas

I "think" DH can spend Xmas with his biological extrusion and the two of them can play "One Big Happy Family" (the board game)

SO GLAD my skids PASed out after being completely nasty and entitled the last christmas of '08. Christmas of '07 the BM had filed a phoney CPS report against Chef (and me) the skids were only too willing co-conspirators and they completely rejected their WONDERFUL XMas gifts that year.

Not growing up with Xmas made me all the madder at them and the BM, but hell, Chef was willing to forgive and forget :barf:

My reply would be "She thinks

My reply would be "She thinks she will be nice and I think I wont go!" Most logical people would tell a person to stay away from their abuser. Why do our dh's think we should give them another chance after another. Forget that. Been there and not doing it again. skids think they are entitle to abuse sm. I am done with backhanded compliments, rudeness, and being treated like an outsider and the enemy. I have backed off with the gift giving. 2 skids have nothing to do with us and I am fine with that. I choice to surround myself with people who love me or at least like me. Forget the haters. I am done with them.

DH 'THINKS' you will swallow

DH 'THINKS' you will swallow this B.S.? Me thinks he has a screw loose. After what you've been through, 20year, do you honestly believe SD (hand on forehead like little, persecuted Nell!) "THINKS" she can be polite and cordial? I can imagine the real conversation they had about Christmas:

DH: I want to have Christmas with you but you and 20 year haven't been getting along. Do you 'think' you could be polite and cordial to her? I know it's hard but would you try?"

SD: "Well, I guess!"

I agree with AllySkoo. Tell DH you are giving SD a few years to prove her sincerity before subjecting yourself to further abuse.