How many of you have SO/DH/DW that have every weekend visitation?
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Just curious how many of you out there in STalk land have skids every weekend? Dh has this now and we've been doing some research because he'll be going back to court soon and it doesn't seem to be too common.
Anyway, How do you guys feel about it if you do have every weekend? I struggled with it at first but now it's no big deal, esp since Dd is here now and we do family oriented things anyway. To be honest though, I've always found it to be a little odd that Bm has never wanted any weekend time with her son considering he's of school age(even more so now that I have a child myself). Do your Bm's seem to care that they have no weekend time w/ their child?
Just wondering 
EW I would never allow that
EW I would never allow that shit.
Right? I think Dh gets mad
Right? I think Dh gets mad because I tell him if we for some reason or another split up, not to count on getting Dd every weekend. I don't know how anyone could be okay with that. I mean, Dh loves it of course because he gets to see his son more often than not but how Bm is cool with it baffles me. So weird. I'm wondering too if the judge will question why she's okay with this when they go to court.
Our BM leaves SD6 at GBM's
Our BM leaves SD6 at GBM's house for days at a time. I often wonder why she doesn't want to spend time with her own child, especially now that I'm a mom myself and I know how hard it is to be away from my DD.
My SD comes EOWE. I think every weekend would be hell. I work full time so on the weekends that SD comes, my days off are not actually enjoyable. I couldn't imagine if she was there every single day I had off. Do you work during the week ?
Yeah, now that I'm mother now
Yeah, now that I'm mother now myself I find it very hard to understand how Bm could be okay with giving away every single weekend but Dh says she was quick to agree as soon as they split up when Ss was 3 mo's old and the 2 times that dh wasn't able to get Ss, Bm wigs out saying he doesn't care about his kid.
I do work full time so before I dd it was very hard because I wanted alone time with Dh but I let it go because I know his time with his son is important to him and it was established before we got together so I never questioned it (to his face anyway lol). Ss is a good kid, of course he can be annoying sometimes but nonetheless, a good kid so I don't mind anymore now. It's just baffling that bm would be okay with it.
I used to be okay with the
I used to be okay with the idea of EW when SD was well behaved. But things have changed and it's difficult to want her around. I can see that it would be fine for you if you don't have too many problems surrounding SS/DH/BM.
Ahh I see. Yeah if Ss becomes
Ahh I see. Yeah if Ss becomes a jerk then I'm more than sure that my feelings will change, however at this point, I don't mind too much. The transportation issues I've blogged are really my only issue. I hope that my feelings never change and my Ss stays a sweet boy. It seems that the odds are against me though.
We did for a while at the
We did for a while at the beginning of the year, but it was a bit too much for us and we needed a break every once in a while. So we now have SD 3 out of 4 weekends. It works out well, we see lots of her and we get an adult weekend once a month. I get on well with SD so I am happy with the arrangement, she likes coming to our house too. I think if we had continued to take SD every weekend, BM would have been happy. She likes the idea of having her daughter around and does miss her when she isn't there, but in reality their personality clashes and BM can't control SD7. So the school week works out well because BM gets to see SD, but SD is out of the house for most of the day giving them both some structure and BM still gets to get CS. Over the summer SD was with us seeing her mother between one day to one week a month, BM claimed to my husband that she was missing SD but didn't do much to arrange to have any time with her.
dup.
dup.
My fiancé has a custody
My fiancé has a custody agreement where she is supposed to have the kids 50/50 but he has them every weekend while she has Monday thru Friday. It sucks. We can never have a weekend date night. This is going to change though.
3 out of 4 for us. This was
3 out of 4 for us. This was only due to DH working out of state during the week.
We have SS8 every
We have SS8 every Sunday/Monday nights, dropping him off Tuesday evening. Sometimes have him more, depending on what the egg donor is working at the time.
We've found the more we've had him, the better his behaviour and he is catching up on little things like being able to wash his hair alone, shower properly, tie his shoe laces, put his shoes on the right feet and even brushes his teeth properly... Still soils himself but he needs physiotherapy and re-potty training due to not being potty trained properly as an infant.
It's amazing what a father who actually parents can do. We have our slip ups but they have both improved dramatically. Sometimes it does pay off to keep pushing!
I do get fed up with DD and myself having no peace and quiet though. Get fed up with cleaning up after him too, but such is life...
I'm a BM as well as a SM. My
I'm a BM as well as a SM. My BD7 goes to her dad's every weekend. We live about an hour apart, so she attends school here (I'm a SAHM/SM), and spends the weekends with her dad. From what her dad says his GF doesn't like it. Too bad. It's not changing anytime soon. They had an opportunity to move closer to our area, where it would have been possible to do EOW, but my ex wanted to be where they are now, so that's on him.
My SO has had his BD4 every
My SO has had his BD4 every weekend for the last few months as BM works on the weekends. It's nice that he gets more time with her, but at the same time as I work every other weekend, it kind of stinks that the only actual time we have off together is spent entertaining her.
My ex used to have my son
My ex used to have my son every single weekend before he started school. I never got to spend any special time with my son ever. Take him to the beach, trips, other outings, he wasn't ever included. Plus I worked, so I only saw him 2.5 hours before bed time, 4x per week. In 2012, I had it changed which my ex hated and he was a dick to me for. He now has him every other weekend and every Wed. It is much better this way and I think it is fair to him.
My boyfriend has one of his
My boyfriend has one of his daughters every weekend. This was not really court ordered, I don't believe he has court ordered visitation set up for her although they did go get child support set up. I think the visitation is more of a function of their work schedule, BM works every weekend and he does not (he used to work some weekends and his mom would keep her during those times). In the past few weeks BM's schedule changed so he has had her Monday through Thursday after work every other week and then she gets her on those weekends. I prefer it that way actually although I don't live with him so I don't see her during the week and I am not sure how that will be once we live together but it's nice to have every other weekend child free (I don't have any kids yet).
When I first met her after we started dating we would only get her from his mom's house on Sundays leaving every Saturday just for us which was great but that's not happening anymore as much. His mom will still babysit at night on Saturday if we want to go out but we tend to have her during the day. I think in the beginning when we were getting to know each other he wanted to have more one on one time with me and also now that his daughter and I know each other better he feels like we can all just hang out together.
I agree that every weekend is a lot especially if the step parent is child free. I also agree that it's strange the bio parent would not want to see her kid(s) on her days off like in OPs case.
I am learning that the way things are in the beginning of a relationship with a single parent is different than after you get to know their kids. It's almost like you have to get to know the person twice, once just to see if you and them are compatible as two individuals and if it progresses beyond that you have to see if you can blend in with the kids. So you might fall head over heels in love, be very compatible and think this person is the one only to meet the kids and all of a sudden there is this whole new dynamic. I know a lot of people say it's good to wait a long time before introducing the children to significant others but I don't think one should wait too long even if at first you just introduce them as friends and don't have any PDA in front of the kids just to get your partner used to being around the kids and get a more realistic idea of the life they would have with you (this is especially important if the partner is child free I think).