Christmas nightmare this year
This is my first year married to my new husband. He has two children ages 13 (son) and 12 (daughter) A little background: his son does not speak to him.. his mother has brainwashed him by telling him horrible things so he no longer will speak to him. He posts horrible comments about his father on social network sites, wont answer his texts. For awhile he would only talk to him because he was afraid my husband would take away his iphone and ipads.. yes they both have these. Now my SD (12 year old) told me she is going to "convince" her brother to come to our house for Xmas because that is the only way he can get presents. Nice huh. He hasn't spoke to him in seven months, he calls him horrible names but he wants to come to get his gifts??
Also, another dilemma.. I have an 8 year old daughter. I am guessing this may be her last year of Santa. She is too smart and is questioning stuff a little already. BUt my SD has made comments to me that she doesn't want the presents wrapped ( her parents never did this) my husband always worked xmas and the BM was in charge and didn't know how to wrap .. So she says she only wants gift cards and she wants the presents under the tree. When I explained this is not how I do things that it is different at my house she overbearingly whines.. I know how she is and she is going to ruin this last xmas on my daughter. She is already talking about waking up early and looking at what is there. My husband also wants to spend 250 on each kid.. Isnt this excessive.. especially since she does not live with us and he pays a huge amount of CS.. so disgusted about this holiday.
I am honestly thinking of letting my ex take her for xmas eve just so her last santa Christmas Is not ruined.
I meant to say she wants to
I meant to say she wants to wake up early and open it all even if we are not awake yet.. Christmas is special to me and I want to enjoy watching my daughter her maybe last year of believing.
Sleep on the sofa in the
Sleep on the sofa in the living room next to the tree. If SD wakes up and starts opening gifts light her ass up with a belt. End of problem.
It was a big adventure when my brothers and I were young to sneak in to see what Santa had left under the tree. Since Santa wrapped everything in our home and in addition to gifts under the tree would hide the big stuff in odd places around the house and yard it was difficult to figure anything out anyway.
So it became a running competition for my brother and I to get out of our room to sneek a peek and mom and dad to keep us in our room until Christmas AM at a decent hour (5:30ish AM is when mom and dad would give in to our pestering). We would sneak out of our bedroom door, crawl down the hallway, sneek around until we could get in to see the pile of stuff under the tree. We never unwrapped anything. Our Christmas ninja skills were not about opening gifts, they were just about getting a peek.
Dad would booby trap the entire house. 1) A broom propped against our bedroom door to start the festivities. There is nothing like a broom stick to the forehead when you are sneaking out. 2) Grocery bags (the paper kind) full of empty cans set up throughout the dark hallways of the house. Strings across the doorways attached to cans. 3) Saran wrap stretched across doorways to catch a sneaking kid (kinda like a spider web). etc.............
We all had a blast with the sneaking a peek and defense of the Christmas tree.
Get creative. Booby trap the house so that you can catch SD in her attempts to get to the tree and open gifts. If you catch her actually opening them ...... belt to the ass.
She does not get to ruin your daughters Christmas by being a little bitch.
Most of all have fun making her journey to the tree as difficult, embarrassing, and potentially painful as possible. }:)
Try not to worry too much (or
Try not to worry too much (or judge) the SS13. That's a rough age for fathers and sons. SS might very well come around as he gets older.
As for Christmas, what does your DH say? I think since your daughter is the youngest and this is her last "Santa" Christmas, things should be done YOUR way. Get your DH on board and then present a united front to SD - this is the way things are going to be, deal with it or stay at mom's.
Of course, you can always tell your skids what my parents told me. I have younger siblings and my parents said, "Look, we know you don't believe in Santa any more. But your little brother does. Now, as long as HE believes, then everyone will get presents from Santa. But if you ruin it for him and he doesn't believe any more, then there will be no more Santa gifts. Your call."
I convinced my brother to say he believed in Santa for a couple years after he knew the truth. (And no, I didn't tell him!)
The rule in our family is
The rule in our family is that Santa only brings presents for believers. Lol
I still believe. When I'm at my sisters's house for Xmas, Santa always brings me lottery scratchers.
Sending your daughter to your
Sending your daughter to your exes probably isnt a bad idea if hes going to provide a nice xmas. Its a shame you would have to miss it, though.
As for the Skids, I would put it all on the husband as to how xmas is handled for his kids. I would suggest though, wrap every single present : ) even little things that go together but can be wrapped separately.. hahahaha and let them have them all on xmas eve. The quicker they are occupied with their presents, the quicker they are out of your hair.
As for the SS13s attitude, my SS13 has an attitude but then I attribute it to all 13 yr olds having an attitude. Dont they?
First thing I would try, depending on how important this is to your husband, is to get the Skids to have their xmas at their moms.
"My husband also wants to
"My husband also wants to spend 250 on each kid.. Isnt this excessive.. especially since she does not live with us and he pays a huge amount of CS.. so disgusted about this holiday."
I do NOT defend Skids, believe me, they are the thorn my side I promise you that but I can not for the life of me understand why so many people think their partner's children are any less important than their own just because they don't live with them? CS is NOT for Christmas or Birthday or anything else. It is for the day to day, week to week running of the household with the Skids in it. You know, food, clothing, electricity to charge those iPads and stuff...
Now, having said that, you house your Christmas traditions. Seeing as she doesn't believe in Santa and doesn't normally live with you then I would put her gifts aside and give them to her from your Husband and yourself while Santa gifts are given out, after all, Santa went to her primary residence didn't he? That way, if the SS doesn't come, then she can take YOUR gifts home to him to say even though he isn't talking to his Dad, his Dad is still thinking about him and loves him.