Christmas picture
Good night,
With Christmas just around the corner, I'm the type of person that loves x-mas and is in the x-mas spirit!!! I have a 2 year old son and my spouse has a 12 year old daughter. She comes every other week but this month she has only come over to the house just so grandma could upgrade her phone. After that she hasn't been wanting to come over even though we tell her we are going to do some fun things such as going out bowling etc. I'm lost or confused last year I asked my spouse for us to take our xmas picture I waited on him and nothing, this year I actually asked him if we would go and he said he didn't have any money. I told him that I understand and I have some spare change to take him for his picture with Santa. I know that he wants his daughter included and as well as I do, but I often feel we have to run on his daughters schedule or wait until she wants to come over to have her included in things we do or we just need to wait to go out for her. I really don't want to come accross as if I don't want her involved in what we do I just can't have our son miss out on things because we have to wait on his daughter. Will i be unfair if I request to take him without her? It's truly not my intention to leave her behind but I get saddened that my son misses out on things? Specially because I want my husband to be in the picture also. Any suggestions am I wrong?
Thanks,regardless if she went
Thanks,regardless if she went or not I am still taking him with or without him. I just wanted to get others opinions if maybe I was being unreasonable or what do others do In these situations. I'm tired of waiting!! That doesn't make me a terrible partner or stepmom my son does come first and when she's with us I treat them the same:)
So tell him and SD that Santa
So tell him and SD that Santa pictures are on this day, then it is on him to have her there. If she doesn't want to come, off you go without her.
You are attempting to include her, she's the one who doesn't want to be there and DH isn't enforcing his visitation.
This is not your problem.
Ask husband to tell SD what
Ask husband to tell SD what day you are taking the photo (you made the gesture), and if she cannot make it, go on with your picture and forget about it; guilt free. You tried to include her but your life without her does not revolve around her and you have a family away from her, as well. You cannot live your life around this kid's schedule or total desire. If you can reasonably accomodate, that is great. But as your child ages and so does this child, you will find doing this will become more difficult; so I would change this crazy expectation now.
I credit you for trying to include her; I never want my image included with my SD's again- because that would mean I would have to be in the same room with them...lol.
You know what? She may go to
You know what? She may go to Santa with her mother. At 12 she may feel one Santa picture and trip is enough for her. It's really possible to be Santa'd out and 12 is not 7.
Your dh is looking at this as if his daughter is "missing out." In reality, she's probably doubled up on many, many things. There is no tragedy if she's not motivated to do the same things a 2 year old is excited about.
Sure, it would be nice for you and dad to have both kids there. But is the kid actually missing out? No.
And I agree with everyone who says the world does not stop spinning cuz one kid is with her other parent -- undoubtedly having fun over there and not thinking about y'all at all. Dad is creating a tragedy where there is none.
I agree you should have your
I agree you should have your Christmas Photos taken since there are only a few days left.
Your husband didn't make the effort to make sure his daughter was available. He can figure out a nice backdrop when she comes next time.
He can however fix this for any future family photos ops. by not passing his daughter on to his parents when she should be with him.
JMO