BM thinks SD has Night Terrors?
Okay, SD has had night terrors but she has grown out of them. Really the only time I have seen SD screaming and running around not knowing what's going on is when we have been gone from home, vacations, hotels ect. and I believe that she just wakes up and still half asleep doesn't know where she it and panics. When SD has done this FDH grabs her up and calms her down and she goes back to sleep.
I have not witnessed this for 2 mo (when we went to the beach.) BM has recently told FDH that SD needs to go in for a sleep Eval. (She needs to get FHD's approval because SD is on his insurance and in the CO it says both parents must agree to any health care.)
BM said that SD had these 'Night Terrors' every night she was with her (4 nights) When FDH picked SD up from BM's boyfriend HE said she did it two nights out of the four. and SD has been with us two nights and nothing, she sleeps hard and solid.
I just don't get it... Should we agree to the sleep eval, because she always has terrors with BM? Should we just not agree because she doesn't have these terrors here at home? BM keeps pushing for it, and I think FDH may say whatever just to shut her up. But I really don't think it's necessary...
What could be causing these Terrors at BM's?
The mom is concerned. "Let"
The mom is concerned. "Let" her get the evaluation done.
I don't really see why you
I don't really see why you WOULDN'T want the evaluation? I mean, is there some drawback to doing it that you didn't mention? Obviously she DOES have night terrors, since you've seen them too, so I'd lean towards doing the eval.
Omg that is ridiculous. I
Omg that is ridiculous. I cannot imagine my parents putting me through a sleep study for freaking out at night.
She needs to get some exercise so she can sleep better. The boyfriend is not helping either. I would absolutely HATE living with another man in my home, a stranger... I think that is why my SD is wetting her bed, she does not feel safe with her mother's BF in the house, and BM does not allow them to have door handles or locks on their doors...
Have her live with you for a few months, if possible, get away from BF.
This is what has me
This is what has me puzzled.
Why does SD only have Night terrors 3-4 days out of the week? and MIRACULOUSLY healed for the next 3-4 days while she is at home? I just don't get it.
I have stayed up late the last few nights just to check on SD to see how she slept. I thought, maybe BM could be right, Maybe SD isn't sleeping well... maybe I sleep though her 'Terrors' (which couldn't be possible, we have two babies that still wake up at night for bottles diaper changes ect... so I'm a SUPER light sleeper.)
The last two nights SD has slept like a ROCK. I have VACUUMED our house one of those nights and there was nothing!
I just don't know.
It could be BM's BF... But he seems like a nice enough guy. Definitely puts the kids first. Himself second and BM last. from what SD has said she likes BM's BF. He has been in her life for almost as long as I have been. She is always happy to see BF, and she talks kindly of him when she talks about him.
BM on the other hand, is the complete opposite. She is first and Second then BF last. SD says nice things about BM, but not as often. When SD talks about BM it is never Mom she calls BM by her name. And SD just talks bout how BM tells her and her brother to shut up, or leave her alone. SD says that BM is too busy to play, or to help her with things.
I don't know.
But when this Eval comes back with nothing... MAYBE BM will realize that she will not get pity from people for having a child with something wrong, because there is NOTHING wrong with SD.
I'd get it done partly to see
I'd get it done partly to see if BM is exaggerating or lying. Is she the hypochondriac type?
Absolutely she is!! It is
Absolutely she is!!
It is ridiculous how much she takes SD to the Doctor.
She doesn't understand that Doctors are here for people who are truly sick, not for people who have the common cold, or suffer from allergies. SD is ALWAYS sick when she is with BM. It's irritating because, we have to pay the bill. and 150$ adds up REAL fast when SD is in the dr's office at least three times a month.
AND the Doctor she takes her to BM has wrapped around her finger. She convinced the Doctor that SD needed her tonsils removed at 2 because SD had a cold.
BM makes things out to be worse than they are when it comes to SD's health. and SD is so young she doesn't know any better, BM will drop her off (if FDH is working) and SD has a cough. I hear her cough twice the whole 4 days she is home. We drop SD off with BM and she is at the doctor the next day because the 'cough' hasn't gotten any better. OR she WedMDs it and SD has some RARE (1 in 1,000,000 chance) disorder. It's RIDICULOUS!! And the Doctor prescribes SD something.
Most recently BM took SD in because of her Allergies!! SD has had allergies since she was a baby (18 mo or so) So we (FDH and I) are prepared for when the seasons change, because that's when it is at its worse. BM took SD in after FDH said that her allergies were acting up and she had the watery eyes and runny nose. OH NO!! SD had something MUCH worse going on, so she rushed her to the ER, where they told her that it was just allergies and to get some over the counter meds... THE NEXT DAY BM took her to her Doctor and the Doctor prescribed her antibiotics... For what, God only knows!
It's like she is looking for something to be wrong with SD... She wants the attention from people because she has a 'sick' child. Which isn't true. SD is a HEALTHY kid.
If she is having night
If she is having night terrors at bm's (even half the time) and the dr thinks it would be beneficial to do a sleep study then certainly dh should agree to have her evaluated. There is no risk involved- it isn't like she is requesting some invasive surgery.
I really can't see a single reason to say no to this.
How often is she with mom?
Why at moms and not your place? There could be some environmental trigger- the lighting, temperature, noises, etc. It could be differences in bedtime routine- what and whens he eats/drinks, bedtime, tv before bed, etc. It could be stress. It could be a coincidence.
SD is with BM 3-4 nights a
SD is with BM 3-4 nights a week.
And the only reason we would say no to the Eval, would be the cost.
we don't split the medical bills with BM, and we are still trying to catch up with what debit BM has gotten into this year with SD's Medical Bills.
We did decide, thought, that we would just agree to it, go with it So when it comes back that SD is fine (because it will) BM will know that it's NOT SD that has a problem.
I just HATE spending money we don't have just to prove to BM that SD is fine.
OH! In that case (you have to
OH!
In that case (you have to foot the bill) I would probably say no, too.
I would maybe have dh call the doc and discuss whether a sleep study is needed. Unless the dr really thinks there is some problem and a sleep study would be beneficial, I would say no.
"I just don't get it...
"I just don't get it... Should we agree to the sleep eval... But I really don't think it's necessary..."
Here's a good example of the problems so many SMs have. YOU don't have to get it. There is no WE when it comes to skids. And THEY don't need your opinion on what YOU think is necessary. It's one thing for you to discuss this with DH, but to come here acting like what you think matters, when we all know it doesn't, is just silly. Give your opinion and let him do what he's going to do. It is HIS responsibility to decide with BM.
I have suffered from
I have suffered from reasonably severe insomnia since I was a kid. It is cyclical but rarely do not not struggle with it.
Yesterday I read an article that said insomniacs tend t have significantly higher IQs than non-insomniacs. So I suppose there is some conselation for not sleeping well.
consolation. Sorry I had to,
consolation.
Sorry I had to, because of the context. lol
Actually two of the smartest people I know can't spell at all