I personally don't think you're overreacting, you are entitled to how you feel. If you were upset by it, your SO should respect that and apologise, AND promise never to do it again. Why on earth would he ridicule/ belittle your feelings and do it again, knowing it hurt you?!!

I think your SO needs to learn that in ANY situation, not just this one, if his partner confides in him that she was hurt by something he did or said, even if HE thinks it's not a big deal, if it hurt the one he loves, then he needs to apologise and just not do that again.

But with regards to this particular situation, I think with any relationship it is disrespectful to your partner to speak fondly of an ex, but *especially* disrespectful if the ex he is talking about is BM (even if it's not BM, it would still be a no go in my book). As you then have to see BM during drop offs etc, knowing he still thinks fondly of memories they have together etc.

I mention exes sometimes to my DH as they are a part of my history, at times it's impossible to tell him a story of when I was younger *without* mentioning who I was with at the time. But saying how happy I was with them etc?! Especially in front of others?!! Nooo

FDH personally said something along those lines to me about BM ONCE! And then I reminded him that the same week he was talking about she also smashed and destroyed the new kitchen he built her. Great memories huh?

He shut up real quick and hasn't said anything like that since..

ETA: I also have a specific LOOK on my face when I saw something like this in a happy chirpy voice. I call it my dot, dot, dot face as in "..." People who know me have come to figure out exactly what that means.

I never appreciate when that happens. Disrespectful unless it can be in anyway helpful to the current conversation or it is specifically asked about.

It is forbidden for DH to talk about BM at all lol!

My DH was stuck in the routine he had with BM. All the restaurants, vacation destinations..down to the very same room and/or table. I talked to him about it numerous times before going on a trip in the summer and THOUGHT I had made it very clear that we could go to the same place but I did not want to sleep in the same place they slept in. Well I had never been there before so DH thought he could pull a fast one by just booking the same spot anyway and I would have no idea..him not realizing the kids had shown me all of their family vacation photos.

I spent the entire week talking about how great this vacation and that vacation with my ex was so great and we should def go there next year . Anytime he took me to a place I specifically remembered from the photos I just couldn't help but talk about my ex! How WEIRD. He got the hint after a week. Sometimes men just don't get it.

For some reason with men dating a stripper is like a badge of honor (normally they NEVER admit they married one).

But yes, I am afraid I would turn tables on him in a heart beat in a crowd if he disrespected me, his WIFE by casually mentioning in conversation ANY female he had sex with...

Examples:

Dh: well she sucked at cleaning house but MAN Was her body banging.
Me to same crowd immediately after his stupid comment: Oh babe i know EXACTLY what you mean... my ex.. Hans... sucked at auto repairs but DAMN that 10" he carries around with him made of for some of his short comings.

Should not take more than once.

Agreed talking about the BM would cause the hair on my neck to stand straight up !!

DF fortunately loathes that woman ~ she is a beautiful woman ~ one of those bikini/lingerie models but damn that woman has her picture in the dictionary next to the word ASSHOLE. Dumber than your pet rock. Uses her looks since she has no brains. " BM is the scarecrow cause she has no brain n sd is the tinman cause she needs a heart !!

I do find myself a little insecure at times being that I am far from the bikini model ~ but I do know I have a personality like no other. People do enjoy my company cause I am authentic !!

Next time he does that follow up his story with " since we are reminiscing, the man I was with before I met DH gave me the best sex I have ever had in my life...I mean seriously the size of his penis and his never ending stamina made our 12 hours of tantric sex the best I have ever experienced...oh yes ...those were the good ole days. Right honey? Please pass me the honey butter..."

Seriously these men need to get a f&^$ing clue.