Amending the agreement reflect current arrangement
The current Parenting Agreement (custody order) states the weekend is defined as Friday evening @ 6pm through Sunday evening @ 6pm.
This was a mistake that DH did not catch with the mediator; it was signed and filed with the court.
The actual schedule is Friday (immediately after school) through Monday morning (drop off at school or day care).
DH sent an email asking BM to agree to this change and he'd have his attorney draft the change.
She refused.
According to the agreement, they have to attend mediation before filing anything with the court.
She refused mediation stating that attending mediation won't change her mind.
Is it worth filling in court? I know it seems small, but it really matters to DH to have the full weekend during school years and we know BM will try to enforce this mistake because he wasn't quick enough to catch it.
They've never actually made it to a judge before .. their issues are always resolved before it gets to that point.
Only your husband can say if
Only your husband can say if its worth the money to pay an attorney to file for a correction. By doing some homework at the county law library he could fill out a filing by himself. Look for a book on court procedures and forms.
I guess I meant more along
I guess I meant more along the lines of .. is it realistic he'll get what he's asking for? They've been following this schedule since January, even before the updated agreement was signed.
She has no reason to deny the change, it only reflects what they're currently ACTUALLY doing. She doesn't want to agree because the few weekends she has in the summer she can't keep them Sunday because of her work schedule (even though she has kept them one Sunday night so far).
But Sunday nights are one night DH is guaranteed to always have off (matters more during the school year when his time is already limited) .. which is why she's never fought him keeping them.
Idk .. seems like common sense.
Thank you. I know deep down
Thank you. I know deep down it's the right thing to do .. I just know the stress, money, time, etc. that it costs to make ANY change official with her. I hate watching him go through it.
But you're right. It's better to protect himself with a legal change.
I don't think he could realistically get more time just because of the distance between them and his work schedule. But he *should* be able to solidify this one extra overnight on his weekends ..
She likes to reserve the
She likes to reserve the right to yank time away from him when it suits her. It's just how she is.
It will be fine for months, then suddenly, when she finds out DH has plans on a Sunday (usually family events that run past 6pm), she'll demand skids be dropped off according to the agreement. That's exactly what happened this past Easter (not Easter day, the weekend before when my family does their big get-together).
DH will spend the money. So will she. She will have to pay her half of mediation and she'll have to pay her lawyer too. Idk. All seems so dumb to me over something so simple. It's exhausting
Depending on your CS
Depending on your CS arrangements your husband could justify the expense of mediation/court with the knowledge that an extra night a week (every other week?) will mean that he is paying slightly less CS, yes it won't be much but over the years it will add up (if they keep that arrangement up for that long). Plus obviously the extra time he gets to spend with his daughter must be worth something?
It is up to you though, is the occasional stunt pulled by BM is worth the hassle of going back to get it re-written? Would she really abide by it anyway even if it is in the court order? And if you get it all changed and she chooses not to stick to it, say next Easter again, what are you going to do about it? Go back to court? Your husband would have handle on how he expects his ex to react in each scenario and of course her financial situation comes into play as to whether she can afford it.
So far my husband hasn't been to court with BM despite numerous changes to their custody arrangements that they agree to informally. It is a pain in the ass and nothing is ever stuck to but there is always some flexibility available when needed and we are not wasting thousands on lawyers/court. Yes I believe that their inability to stick to one thing is screwing up their daughter, but hey it is their daughter. And maybe one day they will see that and things will settle down. I can hope. In the mean time as I say we aren't spending a penny on lawyers.
I don't know that he'd really
I don't know that he'd really see a big benefit by way of reduced child support; although it may be worth pursuing. He already only pays $250 for both kids (not each). That's not his real intent.
If it were ordered, she would abide by it. She's US Military and contempt charges would not bode well for her professionally.
They'll be going to court to fight it all out again in a few years anyway. He's also afraid that letting her win these small victories hurts him in the long run when's fighting for primary custody because she's moving out of state (again).
I don't ever expect peace, regardless of how things work out in the short term.
Although, I will say that I'm
Although, I will say that I'm pretty certain BM is hiding income. I know she got a bonus recently and bought a new car with it. Not sure if it's some re-enlistment type thing .. if they're not annual bonuses, how are they factored for CS?
DH also thinks she was working on the side before she had the baby .. but again, how to even prove that?
I'd be surprised if they
I'd be surprised if they included it, but I think legally they can. If nothing else, it'd be nice to show the court that BM has been hiding income.
That'd be nice .. but we're a
That'd be nice .. but we're a long ways off from W-2 season
Her mom lives with her for
Her mom lives with her for the sole purpose of providing free 24/7 day care. There would be no issue if she had to work and DH had to drop the skids off.
Welp .. BM has denied the
Welp .. BM has denied the request to just amend the agreement.
She now wants to enforce the Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm weekend. AFTER this weekend of course; she's planning to pick up the skids Friday morning to commence her weekend :?
She has basically said that mediation/parenting coordinator (required by their CO before court) will be a waste of time because she will not agree. But she hasn't refused to go. That's scheduled for next week.