the mediator really does try to act as ref and come to a mutual agreement, and what is reasonable. as far as time, im sure that the mediator will persuade her into it and probably advise her that if it would go to court, she woudl likely lose since the courts like equal time if and when possible. same w holidays rotating...no one parent shud have the kid on every holiday, as that is not fair to the other parent. so i think u will get what u want there. the mediator cant FORCE either party to give in BUT she can suggest, hey, if it goes to court, likely the judge would rule this anyway and she will tell both parties to be agreeable. the tax credit is reasonable too.

if mediation fails, they MAY order high conflict dispute resolution where the mediator has more control over the terms if the parties cant come to an agreement. if BM is willing to compromise, the mediator WILL note that if it goes to court and she will be looked upon unfavorably (likely) and the judge may be even more apt to rule in favor of DH.

bottom line....the courts like to see shared parenting and do not look favorably upon one parent who is unwilling to compromise...good luck!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

My husband's divorce agreement with BM stated that they would try mediation before going back to court. Well, after years of BM's nonsense, they went to mediation this past December. My husband was not at all happy with the outcome. Basically, nothing changed. BM sat there with my husband & the mediator & still would not compromise on anything. She even tried her usual act of being vague with answers or just avoiding questions altogether. Several times, the mediator had to ask her multiple times to answer questions. She did not like it at all. (These were questions like, "Where is FSD11 going to stay after school next year?" BM has been planning all along to let FSD11 stay home alone once she starts junior high. And trust me, this kid is not ready for it! But BM would not admit that, and instead stated that FSD11 would stay with BM's parents. We know this is a lie because right now, 2 months later, FSD11 is staying home alone!)

Anyway, mediation got them nowhere. My husband was frustrated by the mediator's reaction to a lot of the things BM said. I realize they are supposed to be open to both sides, but my husband felt like the mediator often took BM's side. It was probably his imagination. Or maybe just his frustration that BM could sit there & lie, and the mediator, not knowing any better, thought my husband was the unreasonable one. I don't know. BM is a good actress & can be very convincing that she does everything out of love for "her girls". She fools A LOT of people. But if you have to deal with her antics, you see her for what she is.

My advice: if mediation doesn't work after one session & BM is like the one we have to deal with (won't budge on anything), don't bother with a second session. You'll probably be better off just going to court. Right now, the reason my husband & BM went to mediation seems to have passed. My husband stood his ground & BM backed off. But, as usual, there's some other trick up her sleeve. Now we're dealing with something else. But I've come to the conclusion that if things continue to get worse, court is the only answer. Talking to BM is pointless. She knows where my husband stands on certain issues & continues to push those issues, more than likely for attention. In the meantime, we're documenting EVERYTHING, calling child services on certain issues, and just waiting. When BM makes her final bad move, we'll have a lot to show the court.

It's my understanding that if you can't come to an agreement in mediation than it will goes before a judge. I don't know how many "tries" are required before it would go before a judge, hopefully just one, but tell your husband to stand firm and not give in on ANYTHING just to come to an agreement in mediation. He has every right to hold his ground and argue his case before a judge.