I think we lost SS17 (Rant)
The ongoing drama of SS17 and his pot smoking, driving under the influence, failing in school, asshole kid continues....
This snot nosed, entitled brat is lucky he doesn't live with me, I'd clobber him for sure. He totally ignored his dad on Father's day - no surprise, but it still stung DH and he moped for a while.
Some of you may remember that DH found pot in SS's vehicle that is registered to DH and WAS on my insurance policy. SS17 no longer has said vehicle and is rather pissy about everything now. He asks on a bi-weekly basis how he can get his vehicle back and DH (who finally - thank you GOD - realized what a P.O.S. his son truly is) sends him the same laundry list he always sends him. This last time, he added that SS needs to go into counseling. SS said, "I don't need counseling because weekend widow is upset with my mistakes. I don't have a problem. Everyone else does." (DH meant he needs to go to drug/alcohol counseling.)
Anyway, he got really mouthy to DH and saying that after all SS does for US we should just give him the vehicle back...wtf? After all he DOES for us? What friggin planet is this numbskull on? DH called him out on his rude and disrespectful dialogue and said to SS, "Do you want to lose your license too?" SS quickly retorts with, "DO you want to lose you son?" He's being that usual bully he always being and holding DH hostage with the typical "If you don't do what I want, I'll leave" bullshit.
Well, guess what? DH didn't fall victim to that game this time. He said to me, well...maybe It's time to let him go. HOLY SHIT!! He still needs counseling and of course BM says he doesn't. Really...you call here EVERY effing week to say how much of an asshole your son is and that he's high again or rude, or lazy...the list goes on. The MINUTE it's suggested that your son needs help you coddle him and say no. Is it because if he went to counseling, that would mean you have to admit what a piss poor mother you really are? Are you afraid you'd have to show up and admit you're an alcoholic with THREE arrests for DUI? That you'd have to face ME?
Sorry for the tangent...anyway, I wonder how long this will last? I wonder if DH calls SS's bluff what will happen? This EXACT scenario happened 3-4 years ago with SD21. SHe pulled the "If you don't give me what I want, I'm outta here crap." For a while DH caved and groveled like a lost puppy after her. Then he wised up and let her go. SHe came back...sort of. But DH is very cautious this time and is prepared for the emotional hostage taking...just in case.
I hope DH can stay the course...our counselor is helping him so much to see that SS17 is an abusive, manipulative asshole. Just how do we get SS17 into drug counseling. He lives an hour away with BM and she isn't on board at all. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Record BM when she calls.
Record BM when she calls. That way you can play it back to SS-17 and point out that even his own BM thinks he has a problem and that he is well on his way to being a worthless POS.
Facts, they work.
Good Idea. Added to the ever
Good Idea. Added to the ever growing to do list.
Since SS17 is still
Since SS17 is still technically a minor, I wonder if a judge can order counseling...especially if you have recorded calls from BM that she knows the kid has a problem, and isn't doing anything about it. Be sure to check the laws in your state with regards to recordings, so that they are admissible. Like here in Texas, at least one party to the conversation has to consent to the conversation being recorded, but that party CAN be the one doing the recording, and it will hold up in court.
The best thing you and your
The best thing you and your husband can do for that boy is tell him he's not going to live with you two any more. Visit on Sunday and have a meal? Sure. But that's it. Of course he'll reject the meal idea and that's the end of it. No more communication from either of you until he reaches out and then its the usual laundry list before things can be made normal.
I also hope Daddy realizes that coddling a adult child is not in the child's best interest. Until the world smacks the kid he can't improve having spent so much time getting his way with his parents.
I'm afraid we will have to
I'm afraid we will have to get a court order to circumvent the fact that BM disagrees that SS needs the counseling. Dh's CO says BOTH parents have to agree to medical interventions...so we can ask nicely for BM to please allow SS to go to counseling or we can go before a judge and waste time and money to have the judge say...of course! WHat judge would say no?
I keep trying to say, what would I do if this were my kid? I really don't care about SS but I care about DH, so by default, I'm really trying to care a little. I just can't stand the entitled attitude from this punk. I feel nauseated whenever I think about him...ugh!
This turd didn't want to meet his dad and sister for breakfast because he thought it was an intervention! No, he doesn't have a drug problem...