My step-daughter (16) successfully manipulates every adult, counselor, therapist, friend, their parents and family member in her life for her own personal gain and to get what she wants. We are a loving, supportive, communicative family who eat dinner every night together at the table and discuss politics, religion and the future. We encourage creativity within our children and honestly, I think we are pretty damn good parents! DHS has been called to our house twice in a year and a half. The first time, we took our daughters TV privileges away so she told her counselor/therapist that her father threw her down the stairs. DHS got involved and she got to live with her grandmother (dad's mom)for 2 months who subsequently "couldn't handle it" (her grandparents are constantly undermining everything we say and do right in front of her, they believe they can do everything better and that we are awful parents because we take material possessions from her) so back she came. She even called my 8-year old step-sons mother and told her "what her father did" which caused the mother to take us to court for custody/visitation rights for the 6th time in 5 years. My husband and I subsequently separated for 6 months after that and have been back together for 9 months. 340 days out of the year are great with her. It is only when we start making her take responsibility for her actions and start confronting her about lies is when we start to hit trouble.

Now to present day. Since she started high school in 2012 she has been completely slacking off. First we allowed her to be a transfer to the high school she wanted (after I begged her father to let her). She was ditching a few classes everyday. Failed most classes, transfer got cancelled, forced to go to another school. So since this semester started last August she has over 300 missing assignments and has failed over 6 classes. Even after offering her incentives like a new car, driver license, clothes, etc.. She doesn't care, how do I know? I told her one day "you know if you just get your grades up a bit you'll be driving around this summer with your friends, doing whatever you want" she said, "Yeah, but Olivia has a car"...really?? We have bent over backwards to help her succeed and she just pisses in our face and makes us look like fools (but she certainly doesn't think so).

So we took her MP3 player (which works as a phone as well) and her computer away 2-3 months ago (because of missing homework, bad grades) and it has been sitting on our top shelf since. It was missing two weeks ago, she comes running into our room "Oh my gosh! Where is it?" drama, drama, drama. Come to find out her grandmother (dad's mom, who fed my husband Ritalin from ages 5-13, allowed step-dad to beat him, and signed him away to the state at age 13) told her to bring it over and they "just won't tell dad", afterwards my husband called grandmother and told her he was coming to pick it up and for her to put it outside, she said OK, step-daughter then calls her while my husband is in the store and tells her NOT to give it to him. So when they get to her house grandmother says "I can't find it". So it's finals week, I have a presentation to do the next day and I come home to them arguing (dad and daughter). I take my youngest (2) for a 30-min walk, still fighting. We go in the backyard, they proceed to go in the backyard fighting. UGH. I can't escape them!! So daughter tells grandmother, "come on Nan, I don't want to be in trouble anymore, just tell him the truth" (according to daughter, grandmother had the idea to take the computer), grandmother says, "I have NO idea what you are talking about!" (condoning lying).

Things get escalated, I grab both her arms look her in the eyes and tell her, "why must you alienate yourself from the only people you have? All you ever wanted was a Daddy right!?" (this is something she tells her grandparents constantly, even though her drug addict mother abandoned her and her other 3 children at birth then died when daughter was 5, my husband has raised this girl on his own since birth) she bites me as hard as she can and I reach up and hit her above her ear on the back of the head (I know, dumb move, but it was very instinctual rather then intentional). So she goes to stay with great-grandparents for the summer. DHS gets called, daughter tells them we psychologically abuse her, we make her stand against the wall and watch us eat dinner then make her clean the table (Would ABSOLUTELY NEVER happen in our household!!), we tell her she isn't part of our family (she has said this to me multiple times, so just seems like projection to me), we tell her not to talk to her teachers or counselors about her problems (effing lies, lies, lies!).

So now DHS comes into our home saying, "well we can't just let her bounce from house to house", then insinuating we have a "history" with DHS. We told them we hardly believe her staying with her grandparents one time for two months a year and a half ago was "bouncing" from house to house.

So what would you do? She turns 18 in December 2015, she is going to HAVE to move back in obviously or we will get charged with neglect. How do I live in a household with a liar who is willing to do anything to get her way even if it means telling people things that could get our other children taken away or us put in jail? Please God, someone help me! I don't want to get a divorce over a spoiled, bratty white girl from suburbia. I have put so much love and energy into her it is taking every single inch of strength to not hate her for what she has done, please someone help me!