Hi all,

I've stumbled across this site on a search tonight labelled 'why do I hate my stepkids?'! I am in quite a dark place, and yet get married in less than a month so would appreciate any advice. Please tolerate my poor abbreviations!

I am 31, my to-beDH is 47 and has 3 kids by 2 women. His eldest son is 24 and has just had his first child out of wedlock (as his father did when he had him). I live with SD15 and SS17 half the time in a house we half own but I pay all the bills for. BM had another son during the divorce by the man she cheated with who is now 3, so this is a big family already.

The skids are not bad people, I have even been told sd has 'improved' considerably in the last 3 years we have lived as a 50% family. They still really frustrate me however, as I feel violated by their use and ABUSE of my space, my money, my food and my DH. He never sees a single fault in them.

I am getting married in 4 weeks; they are all ushers/a bridesmaid. I am seeing all my potential husband's faults now (as I'm sure many brides do, however I lost my Mum 1 year ago so have no-one to ask). One of the biggest concerns I have is if/when we have a child as I desperately want (I am getting married mostly for this as will not conceive out of wedlock); will they look up to these people as their siblings (when they have no manners, no education, no respect or appreciation/empathy)? I can't imagine worse role models!

My DH however never sees a fault in me, either. He has supported me and loves me dearly - puts up with all my rubbish and struggle and still brings me coffee in bed EVERY morning (even if he does use it as a lynch pin in every conversation about how wonderful he is to me). I do love him, I just feel very lost/confused.

Can anyone help/advise?
Thank you!!
xxxx