BM is texting SO over and over! I'm ready to hurt this B*tch!

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Ok so a very smart person on this site taught me how to set up my Verizon account so that I could see incoming and outgoing messages on our Verizon account that is in my name and I pay the bill. SO was sugar coating the amount of texts BM sent him and also what the subjects were. She was pretty much cussing him out in every single one and he would try to make it out to be no big deal so I wouldn't get mad, etc... So today I sign onto Verizon and see that BM has text him 24 TIMES since 7:30 this morning. We have SD8 50/50 and this is our "off week" (thank the good Lord). Anyways, BM says a notice came home from school that SD8 school pictures had not been paid for yet. We got those last week on Friday and didn't have a way to get the check back before BM got SD8 on Sunday. My SO explained to BM that and the fact that he had already called the school and let them know he would send the check on Monday and they said no problem. BM goes into a rant about how SD8 will "be punished" if he doesn't go pay that right now! He works 45 minutes from her school, why would he do that when the school said it's no problem? Then in a text he tells her the total of the school pictures and asks does she want half of the large package and her half would be $17.50. BM texts back he better give her half of those pictures and hell no she doesn't have any money because her baby (#3 by 3rd baby daddy) is due anyday and she can't work. This goes on and on. Finally he stopped responding to her. I am about to bust to call her or text her myself because she is sitting over there knocked up AGAIN claiming she can't afford $17.50 for her half of her childs school pictures, but she is bringing another one in the world? And yes she is on medicaid, food stamps, not working, but she has an Iphone and always has her hair and nails done.

That is true, he is such a

That is true, he is such a passive person and always wants to "keep the peace". I have had words with BM on several occasions and I do not hold back. She is a POS and I have no problem letting her know what's up. He hates for their to be any drama but I feel like until you let someone know what the limits are they will continue to disrespect your boundaries. I have full intention to sit down with him tonight and have the texts printed out and discuss with him what's going on.

YEP! What Dtzy said. We have

YEP! What Dtzy said. We have the same DH.

We use Our Family Wizard

We use Our Family Wizard which has been a God-send as far as the crazy BM harassing us at all hours of the night. Now however, BM infomrs them of the limited communication my husband leaves there, and twists it. Unfortunately, now its constant minute by minute texts to my SD13. Mood changes, fights with us, and everything is getting reported straight back to the psycho. We modified the parenting agreement, and still however, left the part in where parents can have unfettered access to texting kids. BIG MISTAKE. The more I read these posts, I think that we need to put the end to that. Screws with my SD to no end.

I will check into the Family

I will check into the Family Wizard because I'm ready to try anything. I think it is really sad that BM has SD13 basically spying for her, why can't these people just move on? It's so pathetic!

Huh, I sure would like to

Huh, I sure would like to know how to set up MY Verizon account to see the text messages. My DH broke his phone and there was some very important ones on there.

You can't start getting them

You can't start getting them until you set it up so old texts would be lost, but anything new you could see.

I agree with Echo - stop

I agree with Echo - stop looking at the texts. It will only make you insane. However I wouldn’t be upset about the amount of texts. Your Dh doesn't care enough about BM to tell you. In fact he is probably embarrassed by it. As long as there is nothing personal being said in the texts no big deal. If it bothers you tell him he can now view all the texts from BM on your account if he needs to use them at a later date. He will know you saw how much is going on. Then again this means he will have access to all of your texts which I think is reasonable since you are spying on him....

Sorry, but screw that. I

Sorry, but screw that.

I don't care what they're talking about. 24 times is excessive and your man is being a tool for ALLOWING some bitch to interrupt his day that many times! It DOESN'T MATTER if they aren't actively plotting an affair... NO WOMAN SHOULD HAVE THAT MUCH CONTROL over his day!

Are YOU allowed to call/text/email him that much? Or would you just NOT do it because it's wrong?

Don't let that "mother of my children" excuse fly. He doesn't owe her shit. No explanations. No text-backs. She is using your man to get attention.

Um, seriously... I'm putting the shoe on the other foot. My ex-husband, with whom I share 50/50 custody with, is not allowed to text me that many times in a day. I would have shut that down a long time ago. He's a nice guy and we don't fight, but I even get agitated having to see his name pop up on my phone ONCE when I don't have the kid.

And yes, we CAN control who texts or calls us...especially if it's excessive. It's called "training" people! Ignore and they will go away. Your man is engaging in this bullshit.

I. WOULD. THROW. A. FIT!!!

Edited to say: He doesn't like drama, but he's allowing this? UGH. Men are totally the weaker sex.

I only call/text SO during

I only call/text SO during the workday if it's something that can't wait until we get home. I do not like to be bothered by silly stuff while I'm working and I pay him the same respect. You hit the nail on the head when you said about her having that much control, I feel like I have NO control over anything in my house anymore. My ex-husband and I speak if their is an emergency, otherwise I say hi and pick up and drop off and that's it. We split up because we couldn't be with each other, I have nothing to talk to his silly azz about now!

Due to my work I am allowed a

Due to my work I am allowed a multiple line phone account and to be nice I offered to let him be on my additional line that I don't use. I pay a very discounted rate for this but I do pay for it.

My nosey meter wants to know

My nosey meter wants to know how to view these text messages. LOL. But really I just pick up DH's phone and read his texts if I need to.......

If the texts are going to bother you- the content and you dont have to worry about him texting with her something inappropiate then I wouldnt read the texts. I would just leave it at where you can see how MANY.

I sent you a private message

I sent you a private message with the instructions

Please send me the

Please send me the instructions, as well.

Done

Could you send them to me

Could you send them to me too?

Done

He's not going to court for a

He's not going to court for a order to not communicate because it would start a new war with her.

He's handling her. You may not agree with how he's handling it but he's doing it. Why don't you let him alone without adding to the problem?

These are the situations where a man disappears. Just walks off and is discovered by a brother or whoever 30 years later working in logging in Manitoba.

Please help me understand

Please help me understand what you mean because I respect a man's advice, and have especially appreciated yours.

"Handling" her, in this case, is "continuing an emotionally-charged, unhealthy relationship with another woman that forces you to lie to your wife and give undue attention to your trash-baggy ex who thrives on conflict" - correct me if I'm wrong, but couldn't this be considered a form of cheating?

If you are misleading your partner, you are cheating them.
If you are preventing your spouse from knowing the truth, you are cheating them.

I wouldn't care if my man read every text, every email, videotaped every drop-off between me and my ex. He would know that I'm HANDLING my business...it's just business. And if SO can't do the same --- then we don't need to be together. Petty fighting with the ex about the kids is NOT as important as your 9 to 5. Having an inappropriate relationship with your ex that your wife doesn't know about is not "handling her"...it's driving a wedge between OP and her man. She's had to start playing detective in her relationship because of her man's DISHONESTY.

And he certainly could go to court for an order not to communicate with his EX...but it doesn't have to go there if he set some boundaries and enforced them. All he has to say is "SEND ME AN EMAIL ABOUT KID ISSUES. I AM WORKING. DO NOT TEXT ME." Then, don't answer any texts. Problem solved.

I don't get why a man would disappear over this. Well, actually I can. I saw this picture a while back http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_v-YdRfxxCPI/TGyrJFT-ddI/AAAAAAAABh0/XO---GjQir... and it shows that "honesty" isn't even rated in the top 5 of a husband's needs list. :O

Oh well.
...can we at least agree that his relationship with his ex is inappropriate?

Thank you! I just wish he

Thank you! I just wish he would tell her not to text him unless it is something important, and I personally do not think the messages I read which were about her not affording 17.50 for school pictures and then later on about how she was doing with her pregnancy with baby daddy #3. In my opinion these are just not things they need to be talking about! I do not think he wants to be back with her at all, but I do not like that she is constantly contacting him to chit chat about her stupid life! Thank you for seeing my side of this. I'm not trying to be a crazy stalker or anything but I do not trust BM one single bit and I know that she is miserable in her situation and I think that she wants my SO to either be miserable too or feel sorry for her since she loves her status as the victim.

Thank you! I just wish he

He isn't going to disappear.

He isn't going to disappear. If he did well then that is on him and I would continue to live the way I did before him and the skid showed up, in peace with a clean house.

OrangeCountyCa, I'm not

OrangeCountyCa,

I'm not adding to the problem becuase he isn't "handling her". And I guess if he disappears then that is his choice. I am at the point where I have nothing to lose. My life before him was calm, quiet, happy, and financially stable. If he decides to go, it will be the same. He is the one that will be struggling without me. I care for him but I will not bow down to BM or him or anyone else for that matter. The older I get the more I realize that being single isn't the worst thing to be.

the BM in my situation is the

the BM in my situation is the same way, she will text DH like he is her bff! she will just go on a rant of whats going on in her life, her money situation, job situation, latest boyfriend situation, etc. he usually doenst text back unless its about their kid. but she will just go on and on. and its usually late at night. i have told her in no uncertain terms that i am not ok with that and she says she 'tries' not to and she will text DH "sorry i know your wife is going to be mad" which just pisses me off even more. but whatever. i dont think theres much he can do about it. hes told her plenty oftimes to only text when its about the kid and to not do it late at night, etc. but you cant MAKE crazy stop being crazy i guess.

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BM is texting SO over and over! I'm ready to hurt this B*tch!