I stopped paying for them.

The house is mine. I pay the mortgage but DH pays me rent equal to the amount he was paying for his last POS apartment. (The mortgage payment is SIGNIFICANTLY higher than his old rent payment but as the house is MINE, I do not feel he should pay "half")

Any bills (credit card, car payment) that are MINE: I pay.
Any bills (cc, car payment and at one point cs) that are DH's: HE pays.

Any bills that are household: Electric bill, internet, cell phones: I take the total of the bill, divide by the number of people in the house and I pay ONE share.

Example:

Lets say the household bills are $3500.00 a month
Divide by number of people in the house: 4
That means my share is $875.00
The balance is DH for himself and the two kids he still has living at home.
So he is paying $2625.00+ his rent+ his personal bills.
I pay my bills and my share.

And if DH is short of money he better work some overtime.

I dont pay for anything for the skids. Thankfully mine are now older and mostly dont come over.

When DH and I first bought our house and moved in together I think the skids thought I was their new ATM and that I would be spoiling them as DH and BM does. Um No. So once that was realized they saw me in a different light. }:)

I would be VERY resentful if I had to pay more then my fair share because of the skids.

Make him pay 50% of the expenses even if that means he has to get a second job.

I refuse to pay more than half of household expenses if a man lives with me.

Yes, I used to resent it. Especially the CS my husband was paying for one kid who wanted NOTHING to do with him since she was a child. Luckily, it was not a whole lot but still.....

I was lucky in the fact that my husband was not a Disney Dad and did not spend a whole lot of money (he didn't have it, anyway) outside of CS. The one daughter was not an issue but we did have the younger one EOWE (different BMs).

My husband really didn't ask me to cover anything financially for his daughter, per se. I did give him quite a break on household bills so I guess I covered in that way, but as for anything else, nope. Only if I wanted to and I did buy her things here and there but did not make a habit of it.

It's a hard resentment to get past. You just have to stand your ground, those are his kids and not your responsibility. Take back your power and just say "no" to any extras.

I got past resentment for paying more of the bills by asking myself if my husband was worth it and if what he did contribute to the household was worth it. He has always done more of the cooking and the laundry, for instance, and he always took care of his daughter, I didn't have to. And he has always loved me unconditionally and I am not easy to live with! I still had plenty of money to put into savings, so I was not hurting, financially (I keep using past tense because she is now 22, so not an issue).

I tried not to let it affect how I treated my SD, as the situation wasn't her fault. However, she was very mild mannered and did not have the assumption that what was mine was hers in the first place.
So, stop paying for what you don't have to. Have a conversation with your husband if need be, he shouldn't be asking you to cover for HIS kids. He wouldn't be able to do that if he was single.

Oh yeah!

Mine has CS plus health insurance, which is fine because he should support his child. And..aditional small items like a few things here and there doesn't bother me, but...BM just winks and he pays for extras such as glasses, which she lost at BM's watch, so he got her a second pair (paid twice). What on earth does BM do with her $7200 a year???? I feel the least she could have done was pay for the second pair. Then SD comes to our house asking about when she is gonna get braces and says BM said we are the "rich ones"... Excuse me while I barf knowing full well we will get that bill as well. DH also helps adult SD's with things like..."Dad, can we go to the grocery store??" and guess who jumps in to pay (makes him feel heroic, I think?)

I really resent paying for children that are not mine. It may not be their fault, but I think what I truly resent is the almost 10k he pays a year for SS10 and SS6. Plus we now have our own on the way, and my money will be spent on my child. These kids want for nothing, and I don't believe in getting them toys just for the heck of it. SO is one who hates to cause conflict, but I think he is finally realizing that his CS agreement is outrageous, and that it's incredibly unfair. Taking care of him is not the issue-- but paying for his kids......especially when my income isn't much, is an issue. But I always have enough for groceries and things we need. It isn't fair! But yet I'm the "bad guy" if I don't want to feed his kids, pay for their baseball equipment, etc. From now on, he will be responsible for feeding his kids and anything else they need. I cannot do it all-- especially with one on the way- and I'll be taking care of the hospital bills! Time to start saving my $-- which is why our money has always been separate.

My husband pays for me, his daughter and her mother via CS. We are fortunate in that at the current time his salary is adequate and we are comfortable enough. We do forgo some things to afford our lifestyle and once I am earning that will cover these "extras" (a car, savings, vacations, trips to see my family). I get slightly annoyed when he gives or "lends" BM money outside of CS but it is his choice and he earnt the money and does not affect our finances greatly.

I make about 5 times what my DH was making. We live in a home that I bought for us to all live in together. I pay for his child's private school. BM contributes ZERO to SS's well being. I get resentful.

BUT... I had to give my self a pep talk (several times) stating that I knew this. This is my family now. I expect DH to do for me and my kids and our baby (which he does completely) and I need to do what I can for him and his son. Right now DH is staying home with our baby and I am supporting the entire family. It's fine. I have the means to do it.

But, when it's a struggle and my children end up going without because of the $700 monthly I'm paying towards SS's school, I can get mad. But I have to remind myself that I made the decision. No one twisted my arm and I made a commitment. (Thankfully the school year is almost up and I will no longer be paying any tuition expenses).

I did however get greatly irked when we went out to a restaraunt for SS's bday dinner and he groaned when we walked inside because of the type of restaraunt he perceived it to be. We/ I spent nearly $400 on that dinner. Those are the things that get me these days. That's ok. Every now and then I feel generous, then get reminded why I don't kick down like that with the kid.

Not sure that resent is the right word for what I feel but I do feel bad that we put so much money out for SS in spite of the fact that he bad mouths us and never comes to see DH. DH doesn't pay CS but he does pay for alot of SS's expenses and he will be the first one to contribute anything that SS needs or wants!

I wouldn't say I resent SS. At times DH upsets me with how much money goes into SS or the lack of compassion if I don't have extra.

Recently I got SS two shirts on my own dollar as DH "didn't have time" he then through a fit when I said I would prefer it not go to BM's. He then proceeded at the dinner table how it was fine I could return it or he'd pay me back he didn't care I was being childish. This made me upset that he apparently didn't value that I threw in extra when I am tight on money.

I have also had some resentment and sad feelings about DH's anger about money and him and SS having to limit extras.

I was laid off about a month ago and have put in over 100 applications (not exaggerating and have unemployment search forms proving it) but have not had luck finding a job. DH said he would cover all bills for a little while so I could have my unemployment for my car note, gas and just to simply get on my feet. Mind you during this time I have asked for no money from him. DH has voluntarily filled up my car twice after he used it. However he is huffing and puffing that money is so limited right now to people hold telling me it is all okay and just acting pissy.

DH fully supported BM meaning she never worked and actual has had a raise since meaning he can afford bills with plenty left over. However, the fact I got LAID off with my whole office shut down and I am having trouble getting another job is "holding him back".

My resentment is against DH not SS.

Heck I'm not even supposed to be able to resent SS as DH told me the minute he thinks I resent SS he will re-evaluate us as he won't have his son treated anything but good. (Another thing that has come up since I've been laid off)

I stopped paying for the skids, and I dont offer to pay if OH is short anymore either. I never got the money back, and he doesnt pay towards my bio daughter.

Ive also started stopping his reliance on me too....if he has debts to settle and gives money to skids who dont bother with him except for money, and he has none to get through his week, Ive stopped lending it to him.

He needs to learn the hard way since he continues to expect in massive proportions from me.

WTF is he gonna do of we successfully conceive!?

My loyalty lies with my Bio and any new baby I have....not the skids.

I feel your pain. I am completely resentful. I have paid for everything. This year I decided to test the waters to see if I was actually crazy. I told my husband I was going to by Christmas for my kids and he needed to buy for his kids. We have 5 blended together . Every year for the past 5 years my work bonus money goes to pay for Christmas and I go by myself and have bought all the Christmas presents with no help from him. Guess what happened his kids got no Christmas presents from him. Sounds harsh but I constantly have to buy everything. He seriously will not buy toliet paper unless he absolutely has too. I have become so fed up and disgusted .

I'm assuming your DH pays support? I can understand how half of your man's check going to support the ex wife can make you angry. Been there, done that. We celebrated when he sent her the last check. I wonder if she had to get off her lazy ass and get a job like everyone else? She was out of the workforce for over 20 years. Must be nice. :?