We are to blame?
SO custody agreement states that SD is to have a 5/2/2/5 schedule in order to maintain 50/50 custody between SO and BM. Recently, BM is trying to claim that SD is acting out, cries all the time, and just hates the schedule that we have. When SD is at our house, she is happy, relaxed, and content. SO and I have both asked SD if she likes her schedule, and if she feels overly stressed out at our house. SD is 6 btw. SD says she loves her schedule, but misses her friends.
BM feels that something is happening at our house that is making SD unhappy, and is demanding that SO give up his time to create a less hectic schedule. (I say demanding because BM never asks, only demands)
SO and I feel that if SD is stressed at BM's house, but not at ours, then maybe the problem is at BM's house. (BM lives with her mother and they do not get along, to the point that they have full out screaming matches)
BM feels that SD does not act out at our house because she is uncomfortable at our house, and SD's real home is with BM.
Has anyone else had BM say things like this?
BTW: We do not plan on giving up our time. We abide by the CO and feel that it is just fine the way it is.
OMG - this is happening to us
OMG - this is happening to us as we speak. YEARS we fought this - BM blatently, ignorantly exposing the truth that the SKs are "stressed out" - same as you this was only EVER an issue in her home, these were never the kids we saw, these bevahiors never showed up in our house....years.
They started AGAIN this week - and finally DH has a full time mediator who agreed - there is no way it could be us - how, logically, are we causing this if we don't even have CONTACT with them?!
Therapy, a lot of therapy is all I can say....But, its not you.
Exactly - its WAY EASIER to
Exactly - its WAY EASIER to project blame onto others than it is to accept your own role and be accountable....
BM told us Monday that SS2
BM told us Monday that SS2 hates seeing DHs face and she can't wait until SS is old enough to see how terrible his dad is really...
It's comical because when she was dropping him off it was obvious the only nap he had gotten was in the five minute ride home and she admitted to not giving him one. I'd cry to if I was exhausted and woken from a dead sleep.
They just say what they think will hurt the dads the most. Ignore it, they hate that.
The problem now is that she
The problem now is that she is talking about taking SO back to court under the grounds that "someone" is abusing SD. Pretty sure everyone can guess who she thinks is doing that.
BM has tried this on FDH and
BM has tried this on FDH and I since SD was 2, (SD will be 4 in a few months) we have only changed the schedule ONCE! And it was FDH and I requesting that it be changed. ( It was a ridiculous schedule anyways, and I don't know why the judge agreed to it, every day SD would be in a different home. Like Monday with BM Tuesday with FDH, ext.) So we all decided SD would be with us Wed when FDH gets off work until Sunday morning at 11.
Since then BM has told FDH that it was still too much for SD, SD acts out when with BM (she's awesome and happy when she's here, usually.) And she would say that SD's Dr said she needs a more consistent schedule. (I personally think this Dr she sees is a QUACK! ) but we didn't go for it.
She has said SD needs to be with her more, because she needsher ACTUAL (her text to FDH had actual capped.letters. Lol) mom... And that BM'sBF wanted to spend more time with SD, she has said SD needs to bond with her little brother. (She has two little sisters AND a brother... She doesn't need to bond with them?)
Since we changed the schedule BM has wanted to change it again... At least once a month FDH gets a text saying SD's schedule needs to be changed for xyz reason.
Its ridiculous.
I hate that line....skid
I hate that line....skid needs to have more time with MOM. Who cares how much time skid gets with dad. He doesn't matter. Kids need both of their parent's in their life in equal amounts. We did the every other day schedule too. It sucked.
Wish I knew then what I know
Wish I knew then what I know now... LOL
Last week, SD was with DH and mid movie when she had to leave. DH suggested calling BM and staying 30mins more so she could finish movie. SD got all anxious and said she promised to 'spend time with Mommy'. (DH had picked her up at 3pm and it was 7pm)
SD spends 3-4 days A MONTH with DH, with no set schedule, and usually 5-6 hours at a time. The rest of the time she is with BM... SMH.