THANK YOU BM- an open letter to my husbands ex wife
A huge thank you to BM – an open letter of gratitude
I was thinking of sending you a big bunch of flowers the other day, which I still might do, but here are some words of gratitude from me to you, and they are heartfelt.
Thank you for being such a loser. By loser, I mean it literally. You truly lost it all. You, who came from nothing, but wanted it all, the huge house, the pool, the 40 grand kitchen, closets full of stuff , the big car, your minimal salary barely contributing, and all on the back of the man who is now mine. All of it gone. Poof, gone up in smoke . You now sit in a small rental apartment, the missed opportunities, the debt, the regrets throwing shadows on your formica kitchen and your cheap linoleum floors . Thank you. I know how much my DH now appreciates a woman who can pay her own way, who owns her own home , who is financially secure and responsible, and I can see the relief in him for not having this incredible financial pressure, he is relaxed now, your credit card debt which he took in the divorce almost all paid now, and I am so happy I was able to make this possible for him. Thank you. He loves me so much for that and tells me every day how lucky he is he found me.
Thank you for being such a horrible housekeeper, and thank you for never cooking him a meal or ironing a shirt for him in 13 years of marriage. The day before your marital home, which you abandoned, was sold, I went and mowed your grass, and cleaned your house. Appalling is the only way to describe the condition it was in. We did not want to hand over a house in such dirty conditions to the new owner. I saw the chaos, your life half stuffed into black garbage bags, like somebody had broken in and ransacked it, no pride , no shame, no standards. Your life , turned into 30 garbage bags of junk which we deposited at the curb for pick up. Thank you for that. My DH so appreciates my organization, he loves coming home to a clean house, and is thankful for even the smallest snack I make him. You make me look so good.
Thank you for being the mother of these 2 children, because it means, I do not have to be. Thank you for your addiction to attention and drama, because YOU make ME look completely sane on even my worst day with PMS. Thank you in advance for dealing with your severely disturbed daughter through her teenage years, while I go on vacation , or a spa, or really.. anywhere I want ( I can afford it , no worries ) . My mortgage is smaller than your car payment, because you have such bad credit and mine is so good, and I am very smart about finances, unlike you. It makes me smile each month I make my payment ( never been a day late my dear )
But most of all – THANK YOU ( big hug ) for driving my now DH out of this marriage, by selling your wedding ring on e-bay one day and telling him “ you did not love him anymore “ . Thank you for the pages and pages of desperate letters you wrote to him, how you can “ be the woman you want me to be “ the second you found out about me. Guess what - like everything in your life, you did too little, too late. He has moved on, with somebody blond, and tall, and successful, and pretty , and you just can not get over it. I wonder if you think about him, late at night, when you troll these dating websites - thank you , because of your actions, I now go to bed every night with this gorgeous man, with this gorgeous body and this gorgeous soul. He is devoted to me, and strong and steady and knows what a catch he made in me. Nobody has given me a greater gift than you.
Forever grateful for your screw ups….
ME xoxoxo
P.S. Please do something about your mustard colored teeth as soon as you can find a credit card which Is not maxed out. They are a constant source of amusement in our house.
What can I say?
What can I say?
I get what you are saying. I
I get what you are saying. I don't think my ex-husband appreciated me, but my now DH does. During his ten year relationship with BM she never cooked him a single meal. She nagged incessantly and hubby said their house looked like a hoarders episode. Now my DH thinks I am the greatest cook. I am average at best, but DH is so appreciative of all I do for him because BM literally did nothing. Thanks so much BM for making me look so good.
Once again, lol-ing!
Once again, lol-ing!
This is awesome!! <3
This is awesome!! <3
You had me at "thank you."
You had me at "thank you."
It sounds like you've been
It sounds like you've been dealt a much better hand in life than she has.
Not necessarily. BM in my
Not necessarily. BM in my case got a full scholarship to college, her parents bought her a car, gave her money whenever she needed it, and she STILL ended up in almost the exact same position as OP's BM.
BM voluntarily walked away from a wonderful life with a wonderful man because, for whatever reason, she was convinced that there was something even better waiting for her "out there" somewhere.
Now she's flat broke, even with CS and alimony and $$ from her parents, can't manage her finances, and lives in a tiny nasty little house in a bad part of town because it's all she could afford after blowing almost all the money she got in the divorce.
I have a feeling she really regrets walking away from the life she had, but I don't know. She's certainly not going to say it out loud if she does, but just from looking at how messed up and depressing her life is now, I find it hard to believe that what she ended up with is in any way, shape, or form better than what she walked away from.
But as OP said, I am SO grateful to BM for making ME look so good! DH is happy to have a mature, financially reponsible, orderly, hard-working person for a wife now! It's just normal to me, but he's amazed on a regular basis at how awesome it is to have a wife who's not a complete slacker!
We're not rich - far from it - but we're doing pretty okay for ourselves.
BM never cooked or cleaned, and the house was completely TRASHED when DH got to move back in after she bought her little shack in the slums. It took him three weeks (working on it at night after work and all weekend) to gut it and get it cleaned out. It looked like something off an episode of "Hoarders," but she's not a hoarder. She just can't be bothered to clean anything or keep anything up.
So in my case, I'd say BM started out on a BETTER footing than I did. I had to work my way through school, pay off my own loans, and really had very little to speak of in terms of support from other people, even my own family.
In my opinion, to say it's just because somebody "was dealt a much better hand in life" is a cop-out, at least in my case.
Exactly. BM in our case was
Exactly. BM in our case was dealt a great hand in life, similar to mine. Parents who support her, free ride to the same college DH & I both got degrees from, etc. BM got pregnant once with SD, dropped out of school, then got pregnant again by another guy.
DH helped BM when she was in school & they had SD. He tried to get her to go to class. She wouldn't.
Either way, I still wouldn't write her a letter like this because idgaf about her. She's worthless & a waste of life & other peoples energy. So many people (including myself, DH & DH's family) have tried to help her & she still keeps being determined to be the 'victim' in life.
From what DH told me (and I
From what DH told me (and I don't know since I obviously wasn't around), he tried repeatedly to encourage BM to use her degree for something - ANYTHING - once the kids were old enough to be in school full-time, but she refused. She kept making excuses and still, to this day, has done nothing whatsoever with her degree or any potential or talents she might have once had.
She expected to just continue to live the lifestyle DH provided for her, even after they were no longer married. I'm not sure why she expected this, but it seems to have really shocked her for things to have turned out the way they did. She's never been broke before - she always had her parents or DH to pick up the tab for everything, and to some extent, her parents still do - so I imagine these past few years have been a real eye-opener for her.
She's applied for some jobs, from what DH has told me, but I stay out of it for the most part. I'm too busy with my own life to worry a whole lot about what she's up to. I avoid her when I can, though I am civil to her when we have to be in the same place at the same time.
lol! this seems to be the
lol! this seems to be the storyline with bm in my life. she was always jealous of my advanced college degrees and always meddling in our lives. how pathetic.
as with you, she walked away from the marriage after nine years and two children thinking that her lust for a high school flame had more potential. for the record, she broke up his marriage, too. i guess she thought she was really special thinking that would not happen to her, but he left her even after almost 20 years of marriage for another women. dont some women even clue in? take another woman's man and the same will happen to you. the divorce left both with nothing as they were both bankrupt. add to the fact that they used cs for all kinds of nice things such as new cars every few years and saving nothing for her own children. not even a trust fund of a few thousand dollars when they were ready for college.
after husband number two left for another woman she was forced to move back in with her elderly parents. with no real career or degree to speak of except for clerical work and jobs in convenience stores, she found herself unemployed and supported on her parents income. a real winner. imagine to our surprise her actually enrolling in college for a career! it has been six years and she still lives at home with her parents. lol!
i did not know dh at the time of his divorce and we started dating some time afterwards, so i was not a home wrecker. i lucked out in the end. i have the comfort of a job and nice home, and dh has a nice job. skids are adults and out of the house. could it be any better than that?
Your BM should have been
Your BM should have been dealt a better hand with regards to having the ability to manage finances.
OP's BM could have been dealt a better hand with regards to being able to deal with life in a more positive manner.
I was alluding to the fact that not everyone has the ability to make the best of things. They may have certain limitations.
Certainly people don't choose to have difficult lives. Some bring it upon themselves due to bad decision making, but many have legitimate problems.
At least you stated your situation in a decent manner.
She had it made, honestly.
She had it made, honestly. She got to go on lavish vacations, have SUPER nice things that I could never even dream of, and really just about anything her heart desired. Everything was paid for by DH or her parents for her entire life, until she walked away from DH. Her parents still bail her out on a regular basis. She told DH recently that they gave her $5,000 to help her buy another car. Her station wagon is ragged out. She hasn't kept up the maintenance in any way, shape, or form. It's not that old, but it's worn out. She just "can't remember" to get the oil changed, or the tires rotated, or anything. Her dad took care of all that before she got married, and then DH took over after they got married. Nobody has ever taught her to take care of these types of things herself.
The sad thing is, that $5,000 will ultimately be a waste. She won't keep up the new car any better than she kept up that station wagon, and in a few years, it'll be ragged out, too.
True, somebody should've helped her learn to manage money, and obviously no one has. My parents did do that for me. I learned how to save money and not blow it on every frivolous, shiny thing that caught my eye. BM doesn't seem to have that ability, and I really do think that's something that you have to learn when you're young. That's not to say you can't learn it as an adult, but I think it's a lot harder, and most people never learn the lesson if they didn't learn it as kids. They just keep going in a financial hole over and over again, never seeing the reasons for it.
That seems to be BM's case. She gets a little bit of money (from the divorce, say, or from her parents), and she's just itching to spend it, without giving any thought to bills or anything else first.
I hate that for her. That's a hard life to live, I'm sure, which is why I try so hard to teach my kids financial responsibility. I think you do your children a great disservice if you never teach them that. You're setting them up for a rough adulthood.
So yeah, I guess I was "dealt a better hand" because my parents did make a concerted effort to teach me the value of a work ethic and saving my money for things that I need, not just things I want at the moment.
BM seems mad at the world a lot of the time, and it may be due to the fact that she's never had to face any sort of adult responsibility without someone waiting to bail her out when she screws up. That's GOT to suck.
Yes. She's sounds like a
Yes. She's sounds like a dependent.
Yet again, another example of how bad parenting can affect the rest of your life.
Unfortunately, some people also have to deal with bad genetics too!
This reminds me of Jimmy
This reminds me of Jimmy Fallon's 'thank you cards' segment of his shows. Lol.
Years ago I thought about
Years ago I thought about sending BM a "thank you" card. She had me so stressed out, I lost quite a bit of weight.
Honey, how old are you? Life
Honey, how old are you? Life has a way of finding a cross for each of us to bear... I am sure yours is in the mail. While you sound so self-congratulating, the BM is raising a severely disturbed kid, according to you. I felt sorry for her reading it.
Do you realize you come across as hugely self-enamoured and at times mean in your post?
I get the humor. But a touch of humility might be in order.
The post reads as if you are asking for your come-uppance.
You never know when the day might come...
I felt kinda the same.
I felt kinda the same. Nothing like kicking a dog while their down!
True. We all make dumb
True. We all make dumb mistakes, and have bad things happen in our lives that are truly beyond our control.
We all walk a fine line. All it takes is a moment, a phone call, to turn your whole world upside down. I try not to dwell on it too much, but it's true.
Our house could burn down. My DH could leave me for someone else. My kids could become fatally ill. No one is immune to hardship and tragedy, OR dumb choices or mistakes. All I have to do is look at my previous marriage to see that! I'm not perfect all the time, either!
Oh, come on -- ladies ...
Oh, come on -- ladies ... Haven't we all felt like sending something like this? She didn't actually send it (I don't think). It's funny and something a lot of us can relate to. She also makes some good points.
I can't tell you how many times I've written a text or e-mail to send to BM and then erased it because it did seem condescending or just plain catty. Sometimes, I don't send it because the entire meaning would be lost on BM, who has the vocabulary of a fourth-grader and the intellect of a potato chip. Literally.
I'd like to have something to thank BM for. I cannot think of a single thing.
i agree with this. this
i agree with this. this letter is just venting and satire. its very funny, especially if bm has a very inflated self opinion. i cant tell you how many times bm badmouthed me to the skids and ordered me to do things in my own house. i am sure she told the skids they were princes and princesses and did not have to listen to me.
so i think some tongue in cheek thanks are in order.
Not really, because to be
Not really, because to be honest, even though I don't like BM I still feel a little sorry for her. She's alone when she doesn't have SD. Also, she can't help that something in her brain isn't wired correctly, or that she's just not too swift.
I can understand being really angry with someone and writing something like that in the heat of it all, but not putting another person down in order to make yourself feel better. Or for that matter, bragging about how beautiful you are and how much stuff you have when someone else is practically desolate.
That's how I interpreted the post anyway, maybe I'm mistaken?
i feel sorry for bm too, and
i feel sorry for bm too, and i am sure she is kicking herself for her adultery so many years ago. dh really loved her, i am sure, but she chose to throw it all always and take the skids. its all about choices.
I feel sorry for BM in this
I feel sorry for BM in this respect, too. Her whole universe revolves around the skids. She tries in many ways to keep them overly dependent on her, I think, just so she'll continue to feel needed. It's not healthy for the skids, but there's nothing I can do about it.
She has nothing else in her life. She's a mommy, and that's about it. It's really sad. I'd hate to live a life like that.
I love my kids. I truly do. But they're not the only thing in my life, so I'm okay with them growing up and becoming independent, adult men one day. It'll be bittersweet, yeah, but that's not all I have going on in my life, and I realize that I have to let go and let them grow up. BM refuses to do that, and it's just sad. I do feel bad for her. After they're gone, she'll literally have NOTHING left if nothing changes about her and her life.
^^This is exactly how our BM
^^This is exactly how our BM is, so even though she's a messed up bitch, it's hard not to feel sorry for her.
You WON! You got the man,
You WON! You got the man, the money, the looks, the brains, the white teeth. SHE is the "loser". Winners are grateful, even magnanimous. It's the losers who are bitter.
As much as I can relate to
As much as I can relate to the letter, I'm not a fan. I know that I am better off than BM and I am living the dream she wanted for herself. But at the end of the day my SS is important enough to me that I wouldn't want him to see these flaws in his own mother. It's one thing for me not to like her but it's another to make it obvious the gap between y'all in front of the kids. I wouldn't want my SS to be embarrassed of his mother because of the housing she lives in or the car she drives. It would just make you look bad to your skid. That is unless you don't engage with them and they probably want nothing to do with you but your monetary care. I don't mean to criticize because I have said some of the same things to BM (not as extreme) when she attacked me for "wanting to be her and taking over her life" but she didn't get it, didn't beleve it, and didn't change anything. It's best to just be the best you can be for your sake not hers.
LOL! Thanks for this! My
LOL! Thanks for this! My husband's ex-home was dark and dismal and full of anger and discord. She never cooked at all, not for him, not for her kids. Honestly, it doesn't take a lot for me to impress him. Just the basic kindnesses amaze him. Thank you, Biomom!
(And yes, she is incredibly bitter. Funny how that works!)
Taking this simply as a joke
Taking this simply as a joke and vent.
Good grief! Everyone needs
Good grief! Everyone needs to lighten up. OP was venting and I for one think its hilarious. As far as some of the comments that this BM was dealt a 'bad hand'- SERIOUSLY? Sure- some people have it harder/worse than others. You make your own luck- you don't just call someone lucky.
My BM is a batshit hot mess that has nothing in her life other than 3 kids from 2 different men, a pathetic existence in a horrible part of town. I haven't laid eyes on her in 2 yrs, and sure, living well is the best revenge, but I WILL NEVER feel badly because of her bad choices.
Some of us work hard, had the benefit of a great education and ran with it. Why would I feel sorry for someone who didn't bother trying?
I agree about that. I thought
I agree about that. I thought it was crazy when that poster said "BM was dealt a bad hand because she doesn't know how to manage money"
That's not something you are 'dealt'. My parents didn't teach me either. I learned the first time I couldn't pay a bill on time. That feeling of helplessness was NOT something I was going to feel again. So I learned not to spend every single penny I make. It isn't that hard. It wasn't 'dealt' to me. I work hard & I make smart decisions because I don't like the consequences. My mom on the other hand has filed bankrupcy so many times, my dad always bails her out (they have separate finances because she spends any and everything until there's nothing left). She wasn't 'dealt a bad hand' she just does silly things.
SD7's BM doesn't care about the consequences of her actions, she just blames everyone else.
We are all adults. Take some responsibility & quit blaming everyone else, or 'luck' or 'what you were dealt'. If you need help, ask for it - but use the help to better yourself!
I'm trying to be sympathetic,
I'm trying to be sympathetic, but really, my opinions about BM and her life choices don't affect me, and I can't change them anyway. I am grateful, though, that I was taught from a young age how to manage my money.
My mom was a social worker for 25 years, and for about 20 of those years, she worked with welfare moms, trying to teach them basic money management skills and "real life" skills, like how to cook a meal from scratch and keep track of car maintenance, stuff like that. More often than not, these moms were just doing what their moms had done, and were living in a pattern of a shitty life because of it. I admire her for her efforts, and she did help a lot of people get off welfare and do something with their life, with the skills they learned from my mom. She did an exemplary job of teaching me these skills, too, from the time I was a little kid.
I'm not saying that not being taught these things as a kid absolves you of any responsibility. It doesn't. BM could make an effort now and look at her situation objectively, and say "Wow, I really screwed up by not paying rent for three months in a row. Maybe I'd better make sure to do that from now on so I don't have to go to court and pay lots of extra money on top of the back rent." But she doesn't. She gets money from her parents, pays off the stuff owed, then goes right back in the hole again a couple months later.
I guess you could also put it this way: "You can't fix stupid."
And as long as she has Mommy and Daddy to bail her out, she'll never learn.
Amen. & that's the sucky
Amen. & that's the sucky thing. SD7's BM isn't a woman down on her luck. She has all the luck in the world. Everyone bails her out so that she is still alive, SD is still fed & clothed (as well as her other child by another father) etc.
Everyone in the world is trying to lift her up in life & she is clentching onto the ground. She refuses to be better, it's like she's afraid of the responsibility.
There's people like her all around. She bothers me though, because she expects DH to keep throwing money at her so she can keep being a loser & because she sets a horrible example for SD.
*Hand up* It was me! I used
*Hand up* It was me! I used the 'dealt a bad hand' phrase. Maybe that was the wrong wording to use since it can be interpreted in so many different ways.
I was simply implying that it's too easy to judge other peoples' situations when you don't have all the facts. You can relate your own experiences in order to try and understand someone else's, but those experiences most always are not the same...there are so many other factors involved.
How do we know that this BM doesn't have some kind of mental disturbance going on? (Yes, I know, most of them do...ours does anyway.)
I know that most people can control their own life situations, but honestly, some can't, and I just think it's wrong to kick people when they're down.
I think the OP may have been funnier if she didn't make herself come across as if she was such a 'better person' just because she has more 'stuff' and was so beautiful.
Venting is great, but this just seemed a little self-absorbed.
I'm not agreeing with OP. I
I'm not agreeing with OP.
I just have a very "Madea" view on life (LOL). IE your parents/nobody else owe you anything other than to bring you into this world. Everything else is your responsibility.
BM probably has mental issues. She could get help. Everyone pities her & wants to help her. All she has to do is stop being so darn full of herself.
I have issues from my childhood. I don't go around blaming everyone else & beating them down verbally when they try to help. I got help. I still get help. & I work on myself.
I tried to add a disclaimer
I tried to add a disclaimer to my post but it wouldn't let me.
I wanted to add that if the OP was being at all sarcastic in her opinion of herself, then everything I wrote was for not!
Oh well, F me and call me gullible!
Lol it kinda rubbed me the
Lol it kinda rubbed me the wrong way after I saw that this is allegedly the member who puts on mini skirts & high heels to walk skid to the bus stop & pretends to be on the phone with 'clients' around BM's friends so they will tell her.
I don't believe in rubbing in BM's face how good we are doing. We are really just average ya know? We own a home & nice cars - lots of people do. I have a college degree - lots of people do. I'm not doing magic. I'm no dragon slayer or knight. I'm just a normal person.
but I assume it must have been sarcasm/venting & poster wouldn't really say all that to BM.
Any of us could find
Any of us could find ourselves in the same boat many these BMs are in at any time. One day you may be wearing the BM hat instead of the SM hat.
I deal with two BMs. One is nice while the other is nuts. DF married the crazy one. While he was married to the nut, she was awful to SD16. Her favorite go to line when she got into it with the nice BM was "He married me, you!!!". DF and the nice BM lived together for 8 years. She is talked about SD16's weight, hair and academic struggles ( she was held back twice in elementary school).
Well, now she's divorced and her two kids are stepkids. She is TERRIFIED that I will treat SDs 9&6 the was she treated SS22 and SD16. SD9 is obese (over 150lbs), was left back in first grade. She's in 2nd grade now and just reached level J in reading. Here first graders are expected to be at level I by the end of the year. At the rate she's going, she will not do well next year on the state exams. If that happens, she will have to repeat the third grade.
It's funny how her tune has changed now that she's on the other side of the step fence.
My issues with BM & my bad
My issues with BM & my bad opinion of her don't stem from her luck. It stems from the way she treats people (like trash) & the way she blames everyone else from her issues.
It's not her circumstances, it's her CHARACTER. Which happens to affect her circumstances (she had an awesome job & cussed out her boss, losing it. Hasnt' been well employed since. that's just one example).
Yes, bad things happen to people all the time. Yes I or anyone on here could end up single & broke like BM. But if you aren't cussing out your grandparents & bosses & my MIL & my DH, & emotionally abusing your children - I won't think of you the same way I think of BM.
I believe there's
I believe there's "persecution" (where bad shit happens that isn't your fault) and then there's "stupidcution" (where you do dumb things and/or make dumb choices and cause your own life to fall apart).
Some people get too hung up on blaming all their problems on "persecution," but if you take a hard look at them, a LOT of their woes are the result of "stupidcution."
good point. i have one sd
good point. i have one sd who has made a whole string of bad choices and end up blaming me.
really? what about the adultery of bm (and her leaving dh) and then adultery of bm's second husband when he cheated with another woman? what about getting kicked out of the military and dropped our of college to live with a lover while working at a fast food restaurant? wise choices?
people easily blame others and "life circumstances" for where they are. life hands you a deck of cards but its how you work that hand to the best.
Agreed, it is how you work
Agreed, it is how you work that 'hand', and it IS up to you to make good choices. Some people are just dumb, and sadly may have been born that way. You can't blame that on someone else.
::Any of us could find
::Any of us could find ourselves in the same boat many these BMs are in at any time::
-vehemently disagree.
I didn't chase away friends, family and anyone remotely kind. I live my life with integrity and respect for self and others. No way in hell I'd ever be in her position. Broke and single? Maybe- but not a pathetic loser. As QB says above- its her character that is faulty, not her circumstances, but one begets the other.
BM had a job 14yrs ago when she met my DH. She was fired and charged with theft over 5000$. Last half decent job she's had and she hasn't bothered working in the last 5yrs since I've been around.
I was taught about money and budgeting etc as a kid and, as a teen was held responsible for some spending. My husband wasn't taught any of this, but learned pretty damn quick to work and save for what he wanted. As a result, yes- we live large. Not apologizing for it. I spent years at university studying while a lot of my peers were partying and spending.
BM just never bothered- but she had a mom with a strong work ethic.
BM expects us (and the world) to give her what she wants.
The fact is that we all fall
The fact is that we all fall on hard times at one point or another. God knows I have. But it's what you choose to do AFTER you fall on hard times that really matters. Are you going to sit there and blame your shitty situation on everything and everyone else, or are you going to get off your ass and do something to make things better?
I could sit back and blame stuff on other people, or my circumstances, or the fact that Mommy and Daddy didn't play with me enough when I was little, or whatever, but it's not going to do a damn thing to make things better.
So I don't get too hung up on feeling overly sorry for people for long periods of time. After a while, you have to make the best of the situation and improve it in any way you can, no matter what the situation is. And if somebody's not willing to at least TRY to make their life better, then I have no pity for them.
i also disagree. this is just
i also disagree.
this is just a run of bad luck. it is the accumulation of one bad choice after another.
result is single and broke. now bm resents dh and me for the hard work ethic.
What if your BM was
What if your BM was schizophrenic, how would you feel then? And keep in mind, medications don't always work...
Well, sometimes life really
Well, sometimes life really does suck, and there are people out there who legitimately can't do anything about their situation.
The vast majority of people with shitty lives, though? Sorry, can't blame genetics for all their problems.
If she is truly that hampered by her mental illness, maybe she needs to just go live in a facility somewhere and stop trying to make it in the world on her own. If she's really incapable, then she needs to be somewhere where other people can look after her.
just read about the mins and
just read about the mins and high heels bit... really?
This letter was definitely
This letter was definitely amusing to read. And this forum is being able to vent frustrations, even if they appear a little harsh!
HOWEVER..
Have you ever been with a DH that speaks kindly of his ex? Im pretty sure theres not many? I wonder if his ex was at one time a normal bright woman who was over time shut out, emotionally abused, dealt with a narcissistic money grabbing husband? And as a result, she lost all identity, became depressed, gave up on herself etc?
Its obvious her freedom was more important than the big house, granite counters, and closet full of clothes?
If your husband makes fun of the mother of his children, and shows no empathy to her situation, I'd be wondering why she left??
Not, what I have!
I couldn't be happier to read
I couldn't be happier to read this. Many people commented they felt it was harsh or they didn't find it funny... well, neither did I. I found it honest to a fault. My husbands ex is exactly to a T what is described here. Lazy, manipulative, money obsessed and in no way grounded in the real world. Sure, I've tried to take the higher ground and in person, I always mind my manners but after years of being dragged in an out of court, the lies about my husband, the 4 am texts with a reel of photos saying "this is what you left behind" and "I'm going to tell your wife everything she needs to know" (she cheated and spent over 100k of his money- he had the infidelity on tape by the way so it is pretty cut and dry) you eventually get fed up and don't care anymore. She has repeatedly called his commanding officers (he is a military officer) and after our most recent court date last week, we have already received a message telling us he is a liar and she will be attempting to get him court martialed (not going to happen) and she will know as soon as he gets promoted and will be requesting more money, again, in less than three months. For one child she demanded $1800 per month. We have now spent approximately 30k in legal fees and that number will rise as His child is only 7. Her debts pile up and we stil get collection calls for her on my husbands phone because she can't pay her bills. She purchased a home and a brand new Audi she cannot afford based on the temporary settlement my husband had to give her and now cannot pay for any of it, but can manage $900 in a few hours at a clothing store. From work (if you call what she is doing working) she has now filed a disability claim and a grievance against her boss, and is received almost 4K a month from an accident settlement. Way to work the system. My husband and I stay moving forward and enjoying our life but there is unfortunately always a cloud hanging over because some psycho can't move on and pay for her own life. Oh... and before we feel terrible for her as a parent, the child has missed 30 days of school this year and been tardy nearly as many times, his teachers are reporting he is having behavior issues due to his lack of schedule consistency and the last time we tried to fly across the country to see him, she said yes, then immediately no unless she got what she wanted in court. If you're going to feel pity, spend it on the child who can't have a relationship with his father and will end up like the disturbed step daughter above because one parent can't be an adult.
Though three years old...
Though three years old... this is a classic.
Bravo HS679! Bravo!
Living well truly is the best revenge.
My DW has had a wonderful life that rubs the entire SpermClan's noses in the stench of their shallow and polluted gene pool.
My life has been amazing and I rejoice in every second I have thrived in the 27 years since my cavern crotched skank whore of an XW moved out and filed for divorce thus freeing me to pursue my amazing life.
My bride and I will celebrate our 23rd anniversary this summer and our son (my former SS.. now adopted) has become an amazing young man of character who we are very proud of.
Yes, living well certainly is the ultimate revenge. }:)
