Will the dread/panic/anger ever go away when skids come over last minute
I know this is nothing new and I'm trying hard to get out of this cycle and it gets me EVERY TIME.
FDH and SD116 are not sticking to their scheduled day of the week. WE have a busy night, appt then going to the hospital to visit a very sick family member, then dinner (out)
FDH texts me "oh, btw SD is coming over tonight"
It's sends in spiraling downward and ruins my day. Yes, I know we don't have to change plans just bc she's coming however, I don't want to go anywhere with her. Not to the hospital and definitely not out to dinner. FDH says, at dr appt SD16 can stay home......of course she can, with all my stuff. She's stolen in the past; that's just great that she can sit at the house.
I literally had to find someone to come into work early to cover me so I can go home and lock my door and take my clothes off the line so they don't come up missing. FDH says "Why are you bringing that up? Let it go it was like a year ago" I usually lock my door in the morning just in case but the cat was in the window, so I left it open. THURSDAYS ARE SD DAYS-her choice.
FDH and I are fighting because I'm not "so excited" she's coming. I'm fn pissed she makes her own schedule. He constantly compares to my kid. MY KID IS WITH US 24/7. IT'S HER ONLY HOME, she doesn't pick and choose when she has time and what she can get out of it!!!! WTF
FDH is on the biggest guilt trip and he just doesn't see it- he never will and it's a huge divide between us.
UUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So freaking lonely, so misunderstood, so f'd up
I'm sorry. If she's just
I'm sorry.
If she's just going to stay at the house while you guys go and do your thing, why doesn't he just tell her it's not a good night for her to come over? What's the point if he's not going to be there?
Exactly! Because he refuses
Exactly! Because he refuses to tell her it's not a good night and we have plans bc he NEVER wants her to feel unwelcome :sick:
And she can just come along with the other stuff we have to do.........
Once again, I'm the evil step mom bitch who is mad bc his kid is coming over. He see's NONE of it
She's now invited to
She's now invited to everything tonight. This girl doesn't even make eye contact with me, talk to me NOTHING and he pretends everything is ok even though it's very uncomfortable. I'm out. He chose to make plans, He can take her alone which is what she wanted anyway. I'm not ruining my night by forcing an already uncomfortable situation.
I'm the same way. DH and BM
I'm the same way. DH and BM often have last-minute schedule changes, and I never know when my skids are going to be at the house when I get home. I HATE IT.
I can't get anything done when they're there, and it throws everything off. It'd be nice if DH would warn me in advance that he and BM changed their schedule, but he never tells me. I just find out when I walk in the door, and there they are, right up in my face, TELLING me to either do something or get something for them before I can even get both feet in the door.
I feel lonely and misunderstood, too, so you're not alone! Rest assured that there's at least one other person out there in the world who has to deal with this crap, too, and it SUCKS!
DH doesn't like that I'm not brimming with excitement at the thought of an unexpected extra day with his snowflakes. I can't help it. They're too damn annoying for me to get excited about getting to spend an additional night or weekend with them.
DH and BM had some wacky schedule changes recently that caused my skids to be with us, almost every night, for three weeks in a row. I damn near lost my MIND!
^^^^THIS! When my skids show
^^^^THIS!
When my skids show up unexpected (well, *I* didn't expect them because no one bothered to mention it to me), I'm suddenly expected to change everything about the menu that night because, inevitably, one of them won't like whatever it is we're planning on having for dinner that night.
Ugh. GOD. Chicken fingers and fries AGAIN because God forbid one of the snowflakes won't like the chicken parmesan I'd planned on making.
It's really starting to build resentment in me. Also, DH doesn't seem to want to have any "special meals" unless his kids are going to be there. We're expected to just scrounge and eat whatever leftovers we can dig out of the fridge on nights that the skids aren't there, but when they do come, then it's whatever the little darlings want (no matter what our original plans were when I thought they WEREN'T going to be there that night). :sick:
I agree. With us it's no
I agree.
With us it's no schedule but a few days notice at least. And plans never get changed anymore. DH and SD14 work it out and if she wants a certain day, but it doesn't work, she gets told no.
would love to say it changes,
would love to say it changes, but unless there are guidelines it only continues. SD 22 still just pops over, even if she has been told he is working (from home) so once again we have a disturbed work day. All conversation stops and the one time I dared to ask for how long was she going to be staying, I was the bad guy! (we had plans, but hey they got cancelled!)