There are 2 things I know drives BM insanely jealous and it is my salary ( lets just say... I make in a month what she makes in a year ) and my looks. BM is 5'2 or 5'3, large sagging utters, big ears , pretty bad body and yellow teeth. I am 5'9, slim, long blond hair and I keep in shape.

I used to drive skids to bus stop around the corner where BM resides. All of BM's girlfriends also take their kids to this bus stop. Its the meeting place of frumpy and dumpy. I took great pains, and actually got up 45 min earlier than I had to, to do my hair, full makeup, the shortest skirt I could find and 8 inch fire engine red hooker heels and would drive skids to bus and stand there, like I was going to a night club , with frumpy and dumpy who were dressed in dirty yoga pants, all rings of flab and sagging asses ( I would after immediately change back into comfy flip flops, as soon as the crew was out of sight )

While at the bus stop, I would take phone calls, from my all important clients in NY and LA ( there was nobody at the other end, but I would talk loudly like.. oh yes.. I have that contract done today... yes.. I will be in LA next week, can we meet for dinner at that great Italian in brentwood ? " and so on. I had the best time at the bus stop. hahahaha . I know everything I wore and said was broadcasted to BM . so fun.

BM's friends would update BM on what I wore each time I went. I think a few times she was in a different car, checking me out at the bus stop because SS 10 one time said.. I think I just saw mommy in that car !! LOL LOL, I loved it.

Sometimes she will come over to the car at drop-offs to get SS's backpack etc, I always have on my nicer ring (yes I have multiple rings though the really nice one I save for special events as I don't want to seem to gaudy) and I always hear a huff when she walks away. (She begged DH for really nice rings but he never felt the need to get her one above the one he originally bought - however for me we used a step program (his idea) to get the one I really want which is next in line and I think the fact that I legit wore a ring that MIL picked out a first and most women would laugh at makes him realize that I appreciate anything so he wants to get me nice things).

I guess also on the Thursdays we have SS it is reading night and so I will write the name of the book on the sheet as my handwriting is a million times nicer than hers - I let DH sign it but I know that after the first time I did it when SS came over next he told me that if DH was going to sign it his mommy said that he needed to write the name of the book as well. DH said I was saving time and have nicer hand writing so it shouldn't matter. So, I know for a fact it irritates BM.

Those are the two main things I guess but to me seem so little.

oh yes... talk about signing.. in the summer, I drove kids to camp, and I have to sign them in. The morning sign in and the evening pick up sign line are next to each other. I sign my name so large on the ' morning ' sign in line and my signature occupies the afternoon pick up line, so there is no space for her name in the afternoon on the sheet.

My existence just pisses of my SS's Sperm Idiot. The success that my DW and I have in our careers pisses Sperm Grandhag off to no end.

When we visit Sperm Land to spend time with my ILs we rent high end cars. I have been using all of the major rental car agencies for my entire career so we get upgraded to premium every time we rent for personal use. For the past 15 or so years (we will celebrate our 20th anniversary this summer) we have been driving BMW, Mercedes Benz, Cadillac, Volvo, Corvettes, Mustangs, etc... every time we have picked up or dropped the Skid off for Sperm Clan interface when we have been in the area. My ILs and the Sperm Clan all live in a tiny town and the grape vine lights up when DW is in town. The Sperm Clan knows whenever DW or our family are in town.

We always had the kid in high quality clothing, high quality shoes, high quality eye wear, etc.... It would drive Sperm Grandma insane. }:) She would bitch incessantly about how SS did not need all of the expensive and nice things and how unfair it is that the three younger also out-of-wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two more baby mamas can't have those nice things. On the occasions when they have stolen SS's stuff we have had our attorney write them nasty letters regarding having the constable accompany us to collect SS's stuff. They always send it back to us dirty.

We would have my ILs accompanied by the police collect SS from the Sperm Clan when they failed to put him on the return flight home at the end of visitation. With police or sheriffs department escort we collected SS in the middle of church services at the Sperm Clan's church, we collected SS from family reunions, from family gatherings at restaurants and from Sperm Grandma's house on several occasions. My DW's BFF is the daughter of a long time Sr. Police Officer in their home town who also became the Sheriff in their county. }:) }:) }:)

When we have had to drag the Sperm Clan to court we are always in business professional attire with very nice watches/jewelry, my wife carries well known high end hand bags, and we are always very relaxed and demonstrably happy, supportive and affectionate (holding hands, etc...)

The Sperm Idiot just sits next to his cheap attorney of the moment with a scowl on his face, Sperm Grandpa just grumbles that he is going to have to pay higher CS for his worthless POS son and Sperm Grandma just shoots dagger eyes at my DW the whole time. Sperm Grandhag has on several occasions told people in the small town that my DW is from and they all live in that she does not need all of the expensive jewelry, etc... and that the only reason she has it is because she "has a rich husband". We counter that crap by submitting human interest updates to their small town local paper that my DW has graduated with a dual major BS Mgt/Acctg with honors, MBA with honors, passed the CPA exam, been promoted, won professional awards, etc.....

We bare their asses each and every time they pull their toothless moron redneck manipulative bullshit.

There is nothing passive about how we do it.

Other than that we don't give them any thought at all. Sadly, now that SS-21 is a self supporting viable adult he does not give them much thought either. They trained him how to deal with them. When he first joined the USAF they tried to get him to send them money every month to help support his 3 younger half sibs. SS knew how to deal with their manipulative crap by his own experiences and observing how his mom and I dealt with the Sperm Clan over the years.

Best of all we have funnnnnnn when we have to bare their asses! }:) }:)

I'm not really good with passive aggressive & I'm just too far above BM to be aggressive towards her. It would just be downright mean.

I think just me breathing, not being absolutely hideous, & SD7 liking me kills her soul though. Idk, I don't really give her much thought anymore.

Not passive aggressive, but as you all may remember, BM has been told several times to stay away from me and my BD6. BM is the type of person who wants to be everyone's best friend, and when things weren't crazy (by her making), I was cordial but very guarded. Now, I ignore her so hard, look and/or walk right past her. It bothers her and I know it.

I don't really go out of my way to "get" at BM. It's enough that I have class.

Although, in times where expenses need split I do tend to do it from our joint account and sign the check myself }:)

The last time I picked up the SK's....I went in my convertible, wearing my skinnies...Enough Said.
(Note: nothing I would not have otherwise been doing that day, its my regular daily car, and clothes I wear to work - I just know it just becomes passive agressive by nature of what it is TO HER and I am ok with that)
My existance is passive agressive to her. I DO NOT associate, speak or otherwise engage with her, and RARELY if ever do I do the picking the kids up.

For the longest I would have to deal with BMs constant degrading of me and her telling lies to the people in our very small town. She started telling everyone I was an actual hooker (wtf) so I finally decided to fight back. I got a twitter account made it public and started blasted every crappy thing she would do for that week/weekend. If she came to drop off ss2 in short shorts that were see-through with her hair all fixed up, I posted about it. I would post every time she would break up with her new baby daddy or buy herself some clothes/makeup/hair done/nails done while ss2 was coming home in what could barely be considered clothing. She got all huffed up about me posting the truth about her that she asked to talk about and work things out. She of course denied her fault in any of it so I simply just said "If you didn't give me anything to tweet, I wouldn't" and she's been keeping it quiet mostly since.

Not really passive aggressive, but BM is not educated so I use big words a lot in our communication. She is also a huge bitch and very high conflict so I kill her with kindness. Both really piss her off. She could randomly text me something like "I don't know how you stand him, he's such an asshole. He doesn't call his kid enough". She just wants me to get mad and argue with her so I just write back with, "Hi BM. Hope you are doing well. It's a lovely day isn't it? I will pass along your message that SD would like her dad to call her later. He will be delighted! He loves their chats".
She gets sooo mad and confused. I think its hilarious.

I too get vile texts from BM, such as " I hope you die in a car accident today " and the few times that I do respond ( very few , maybe 4 or 5 times I responded to her shit over the years " I wish her a lovely day and end the text with " hugs to you xoxo " lol, nothing else.