My DH and I were arguing the other day about skid stuff. I am always telling him that his kids ALWAYS come first, then his ex-wife cuz he's always busy trying to avoid any confrontation etc with her and then I come in last.
During the argument he makes some comment about how "he has always wanted to be a Dad and he doesn't know how to be anything else". I really wondered what he meant by that so to make sure I understood I asked him to write it down for me. The following is what he wrote. Is he really just a loving Father and I don't understand or are his kids his whole life and I pretty much don't have much of a chance of him ever making me and our marriage a priority.
This is exactly what he wrote:
"You asked how I see myself. I see myself as a Dad. What does that mean? I'm not sure. It's how I've always thought of myself..at least after my first child was born and it's what I aspired to before they were born. I guess it's a state of being or it means providing unconditional love for a child and being there for them whenever they need it, whether they know it or not. It's something that gives it's own reward and joy sometimes expressed by the child, sometimes just felt in your heart. It's the smile on your face when you smell a wet child's hair as they sit in your lap and read a book. I know my kids are older than the three years old they were at that time but that is still the feeling and memory that I recall as I'm helping them now or they are helping me. Whether it is being there physically to support them or just saying a silent prayer for them or them just being with me. It's the delight in their accomplishments and comforting them in their disappointments."