Vacations
Has anyone ever experienced a BM following them on a family vacation?
We are going away and shes demanding a "daily itinerary of activities". Because its out of country DH was required to provide dates, hotel and contact number already, and we need her consent - which shes refusing until she receives this "daily itinerary" of "details of activities". truth be told, we dont have one (the trip is months away) and I dont plan to have one.
BUT she claims she provided on on her trip years ago, claims that DH requested it (no) then claims we followed her (not true, we planned a trip to the same area 2 weeks before finding out about her trip - we were about 30miles from eachother and did NOT cross paths over the 2 days crossover).
I just have this deep seeded feeling shes going to follow us 3000miles away....I am a bit sick from this
Make some shit up.
Make some shit up.
This is what I would suggest.
This is what I would suggest.
Write up a schedule of who
Write up a schedule of who will poop at what times.
*Be sure to include details of the times you & your DH will be mating so she doesn't call & interrupt.
Seriously, like heriam said, make some shit up. The trip is months away. She's a dumbass to think that if there WAS an itinerary of activities, shit wouldn't change.
Make something up & get her consent & then enjoy your trip!
Thats the thing - we could
Thats the thing - we could definitely provide something, knowing it will change but if it did I could see her loosing her S* that we said we were in A spot but went to B....
Regardless, she knowsn when and where we are staying - even without an itinerary of daily activities she could show up at the fricking hotel. I get this feeling shes going to try to find a way to show up.
This^^^ If nothing in the
This^^^
If nothing in the order states you're required to give her a detailed itinerary, she can lose her shit all she wants.
I also agree that 3000 miles away is the best place for her to lose it.
Just add a disclaimer:
Just add a disclaimer: "subject to change." Then change every single thing.
All you have to provide her
All you have to provide her is with flight and hotel information. That's it. You don't need to outline your daily activities.
WTFrick would we (you) do if
WTFrick would we (you) do if she showed up????
Its not overseas - its out of
Its not overseas - its out of the country.
COUNTRY - as in INTERNATIONAL
COUNTRY - as in INTERNATIONAL for us....hence the required consent. Its just not overseas.
If you need her permission
If you need her permission then she can require whatever she wants as a precondition to giving that permission.
I agree with the first responder up above - make it up. Then while on the actual trip Daddy texts or emails the unexpected (really the unplanned) "changes" to the itinerary reflecting where you'll be "tomorrow". This precludes her complaining that she's not being informed.
This will keep her off balance and unable to "cross paths".
This has to be carefully pulled off as if she thinks she's being messed with then next years permission may not be forthcoming at all regardless of what is promised.
To preclude this from happening after the upcoming trip Daddy sues for a change in visitation rules asking for permission to takes the kids anywhere in the world without prior permission citing his past history of taking kids to (wherever) and returning them unharmed and on time.
Make up something general.
Make up something general. But WTF a detailed itinerary- this bitch is just too controlling. I get that she wants to have some idea what her kids are doing 3000 miles away but what she is asking is just too much.
IMO, it shouldn't matter if
IMO, it shouldn't matter if they're 3 miles away or 3,000 miles away. She can want an idea all the way to town.
If she doesn't require a detailed itinerary of their weekends with their dad, there's no reason she should need one for their vacay.
She should respect him as a parent enough to know that they'll be as safe with him 3000 miles away as they are when they're at his house.
I agree, it's all about control. Holding her "permission" hostage until he releases everything she wants in return.
CO States - for out of
CO States - for out of state/country a "travel itinerary, including details of where the children are staying and phone number" are required to be provided 7/14 days prior to trip. International travel requires consent forms, which include this info, but DH sent along a simple page outlining it as well.
We are going to Disneyland/SoCal. I think its pretty APPARENT what we will be doing/where we will be going for a week. We noted a summary that we would be staying in the socal area (not travelling to any other countries/state).
Hoestly - I get the feeling shes wanting this to show up.
And to answer someone above about other times in Dh care - in fact she demanded daily activity itineraries of the children "when not in DH care when he is at work (you know 8 hours a day - not like days away)" on our summer vacation time last year - the "kids" BTW are 13/14... WE are obviously not provided the same "itineraries" back - and dont ask for it. She didn't get those either.
I would point out to her that
I would point out to her that the CO states TRAVEL itinerary, not activities. You need to give her travel information, flight numbers/dates/times, etc, as well as the name of the hotel you are staying at and the phone number. If she insists upong activities, just write something up that you will be visiting the park daily. You won't even know until you get there exactly what you are doing, so why would she expect you to be able to give her detailed info ahead of time?
Sigh - Ironic you'd bring
Sigh - Ironic you'd bring that up out of the blue about contact - as she demanded to have telephone arrangement because she wants to talk to them over the 8 days. Did I mention they are 13 and 14?!?!?!
I think giving her a basic
I think giving her a basic idea, but nothing too specific would be a peace offering.
Example:
"We will be staying at the Hilton for 5 days in San Diego. We will be leaving on Flight #333 American Airlines and Returning home on Flight #444 American Airlines.
We are planning many great sight seeing adventures and wherever the fun wind takes us. I'm sure the kids will enjoy sharing our adventure stories with you when you talk with them. "
Thats exactly what we privded
Thats exactly what we privded without asking - shes since come back she will send the consents "closer to the trip", when asked why her reasonaing was wanting a "more detailed itinerary with daily activities", when DH went back with not reasonable/necessary she already got the travel details as required by the order she replied that she feels its reasonable that this information is sent because she wants to know and we shouldn't be denying this info to her.
So ya - shes holding consent hostage for "more details"
See, I just don't have the
See, I just don't have the patience for this kind of crap. I would tell her, "That's fine. Keep the kids with you and we will have a wonderful vacation."
This sounds like something
This sounds like something our BM would do. Honestly? I'd provide all the info you're obligated to .. the hotel, flight info, contact numbers, etc and ask for her agreement on the skids taking the trip. Refuse and ignore requests for detail itinerary, or simply state you don't have one.
If she continues to deny approval without this detail itinerary, then take the skids anyway.
Let her take you to court and tell a judge that your husband is an unfit parent because he notified her well in advance of a family vacation where the skids got to go to Disney World. At that same hearing, request the judge to modify the court order to reflect a more reasonable clause that reflects the best interest of the skids.
This brings to mind a trip to
This brings to mind a trip to the Caribbean a few years back. SD was 12, and BM called EVERY DAY. I stayed out of it, don't give a shit, she wasn't staying in our room- she was with an aunt. I hardly saw her the whole trip.
But- had she been in our room- I totally would have made shit up, or, like hereiam- "fantastic- keep your goddamn kid and I'll go have fun!"