A two year old would be curious about bodily functions and a ten year old boy could care less if a two year old boy watched - especially if he HAD to pee.

Drop this incident - boys aren't prissy about these things.

As for the curiously sexual nine year old that may be another story but for now your only practical tactic is to watch for any signs your two year old may exhibit and any furtive behavior on the part of the nine year old.

I don't think this is ok either. I, too picked up a weird sexual vibe from my ss, was told by my dh I was being silly and just didn't like ss and that it was impossible for kids so young to have sexual feelings. I ignored and I was wrong. Always always trust your instincts. Every bad thing I ever thought about my ss was absolutely true. He is no longer even allowed on my property.

I started picking them up when he was 5. He was snatching my underwear and bras and I'd find them all over his room, in his bed. Pretty big red flag, huh? But again he was 5. Who would think a kid is a pervert at 5? This went on until he was 9. We would discipline him, we took him to a psychiatrist who told us some bs about ss just really loved me and thought I was beautiful and took them as a comfort object. WTF. Never bought that but I thought perhaps he was doing it whenever he got mad- that it was not sexual but just as a way to strike back at me ( I had started recording g what was going on every time he took them and even sort of set him up once by reprimanding him for something he had genuinely done wrong and then leaving him alone in a room with my clean laundry- I literally caught him red handed). At 11 my dd who was also 11 told us she woke up with him pressed up against her twice. He gave us so e sleepwalking story. And again I believed the bs. It's horrible the things your mind will allow you to do. He had moved out at 9, and only visited about 36 hours at a time. I tried to have all my kids out of the house when he visited, I watched them like hawks- I always felt he was sketchy and dangerous but seemed to have no proof. He stopped with the underwear snatching at 9. Then at 14, we found ourselves moving him back in because both his mother and grandparents had kicked him out. We literally did not know what to do with him. Within two weeks he had stolen mine and my daughters underwear, had them in his bed. Dh took him and left immediately. He was gone for several weeks looking for some sort of therapeutic boarding school but they all wanted 30,000. Bm wouldn't take him back. My Inlaws wouldn't take him back so he did come back to our home. Installed keyless entry locks on all of our bedroom doors except his. Including the laundry room. My dh installed cameras in the common areas of the home not that any of my children spent anytime around ss. We all sat locked up in our various rooms while ss sat on my living room sofa with one hand down his pants and the other Ina bag of chips. My dh quite literally lost his mind during these couple of months. After a few months I went to dh and sai he has to go or you both have to go. I nor my children can continue to live like this anymore. Dh actually went straight to ss and told him you have 3 options- your BMs, the Inlaws, or foster care. Ss got on the phone and told my mil he had to go there or foster care so she took him back where he still lives now- when he is not in juvenile detention anyway ( for drugs).

Ss has not set foot on my property in almost 2 years. The only way he will is over my dead body. I am planning to talk to an attorney about changing my will - if this is at all possible- that while my children are minors if dh ever allows ss around them he will forfeit custody, the home, monies, etc. I live daily with a great deal of shame for not taking action sooner than I did. For explaining away the red flags. For giving the benefit of the doubt that it was not deserved. I hated myself for many months when I finally realized the depth of ss's issues. Since he has left the home I have also learned that he has exposed himself to his 4 cousins- ages 10-16. This was about 6 months ago.

I would hope that your situation does not turn out as badly as mine, but your "intuition" is there for a reason. Please don't ignore it as I ignored mine. Think about the things he does that give you that creepy feeling. Write them down. Go to your dh and approach him with these concerns and ask that he get his kid counseling. If you have to make it about your ss and your concern that something has possibly happened to him. If your dh is agreeable I would try and work on it- all the while watching 100 per cent of the time, installing locks, cameras whatever you need to- however I would just suggest this as a temporary fix until you can get some sort of advice from a professional. You can't live like that long term and even if nothing ever happens if you continue to have these feelings you will be miserable. I would also suggest you seek your own therapist to wade through some of this and to be there to advise you what is in your and your kids best interest.

Does that make sense? I don't know if I would leave tomorrow based on a"feeling"- but that doesn't mean you don't address it. I think once you actively begin addressing it with dh and some professionals I think you will know which way you need to go.

Also to add if your dh is completely unwilling to get his kid some help- then that should pretty much be your answer.

Boys don't make a big deal about peeing in front of each other, notice how public restrooms have urinals ? My BS10 and BS6 hang out in the bathroom while they number 2, why I never know but they are brothers and they are just hanging out. If you don't feel its appropriate, then I would tell SS not to do it in front of your bio. I would have your DH explain that its not ok to touch or explore and all that fun stuff and just move on.

Boys don't have any hang ups about peeing in front of each other. You were not in the room, you cannot possible know that the 9 year old didn't tell your son to leave. If he did, he would have just said "go away" he wouldn't have yelled or made a big deal, just a quiet go away. If your son didn't go away. The 9 year old wouldn't have cared. One day your son will pee with other males in the room. Would you think your son was a sexual predictor. Your husband pees with other males beside him, is he a sexual predictor. If you make a huge deal out of this, you will be harming both boys. I have four grandsons, 5 and under, as soon as one goes for a pee, the others need to as well, I stop that quick smart. My reason. One male in the toilet has enough trouble getting the pee in the hole, and I don't want peeing competitions in my toilet. I don't think the kids are perverted. Kindergartens have open toilets too. Your son will as I said be peeing in front of other males when he is old enough to use public toilets. Don't give him hang ups about his body.

If you don't like the names your SS calls you, tell him not to. But first look at yourself. Talk to your friends if they have male kids. Try and find out more about the behaviour boys find normal. Because little boys are so different, they don't have the same issues little girls have about peeing. That doesn't make them perverts. Ask your husband how many peeing competitions he won as a child.