Will it ever end ??
Well SO & BM are finally legally divorced and allll the custody issues have been worked out. CS has been agreed on, all the financial stuff has been worked out and signed on. 3 years of fighting ...2.5 of them I've gone thru...FINALLY DONE!! or not..... You'd think BM would MOVE ON ! NOPE! All she's been saying is how she wants to "move on" yet she is the one holding everything up in court.....now it's done. She threw herself a divorce party...rented out a restaurant, open bar, catered, had a cake FLOWN in, and had blow up dolls, penis pops and dirty gift bags for all the guests !! nice....a bunch of 50 yr old women getting drunk and sucking on penis pops....Keep it Classy BM! But still I hoped she was "moving on" with her skanky several thousand dollar party. NOPE! She has not paid ANY of what the divorce agreement states she is responsible for..... She has not reimbursed SO for anything it stated she had to pay. And she had to set up a college fund for SS8 and put 24K in it and didn't..... She only has SS8 one weekend a month, but yet for some reason thinks she has him EVERY weekend, and last week him took him from a school event on a non-custodial weekend.
BM doesn't work...refuses to work, and refuses to pay off her car to get it out of SO's name, but spent more money on her divorce party than it cost to pay off the car!! We have to get the car out of SO's name so we can move forward financially, and try to build or buy a bigger house....and she's REFUSING to pay it off, says she will just "make payments". Does it EVER end ??
Go back to court and have her
Go back to court and have her wages garnished. Now that it's all finalized, taking her back to court and holding her to the court order is MUCH easier.
Sorry it sucks .. but I think you can expect it to continue for at least another 10 years ..
This really had nothing to do
This really had nothing to do with you and you should not waste your time thinking about her or her penis party. You will just drive yourself crazy thinking about her and what she does or doesn't do with her money.
Oh and it won't end until or unless you get a new boyfriend without an exwife/kids. It is part of life today.
he did go to the police and
he did go to the police and filed a "custodial interference" report. In the past when she'd done stuff...the judge just tells them to do what he says and play nice, and she bobs her head up and down, and then just goes right back to not doing what she's supposed to.
To SanAntonioSoccerMom...thanks for the negativity. I'm sure you've never had to vent about anything. It DOES concern me. When she is not reimbursing, and not paying parking tickets etc..., and WE are paying them...when we can't get a biz loan or move because she's not paying her debt to us...yeah, it really does concern me AND it burns my ass. You can bet if I behaved like that, there is no way in hell I'd get away with it.
SMof2Girls, I wish we could garnish her wages, but she doesn't work. So that is why spending thousands on a "divorce party" and not paying for things your child needs or paying your debts, burns my butt !
I am speaking as someone who
I am speaking as someone who has BTDT and I do regret wasting my thoughts and energy on my husband's ex. I did this for waaaayyyy tooo long. The sooner you realize she is HIS problem and not your the better off you will be. I speak from experience. I had to come to realize that my husband's ex is a dead beat who will never pay her debts, child support, visitation costs, court costs, etc. It was never going to happen. She is not normal, you cannot expect normal or rational behavior from a whack job person.
After enough infractions, the
After enough infractions, the judges will get tired of seeing her in court and start to do something about it.
The courts are sometimes lenient .. they want to give parents a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth chance to work it out between them and actually co-parent. It takes a consistent demonstration of failure to do that before they do much, in a lot of cases.
Hang in there. Nail her to the wall with the CO. It's your only option at this point.
Good luck
You have the CO so roll it up
You have the CO so roll it up and beat the snot out of her with it. Because she is noncompliant to the CO file for contempt and for her to pay your legal costs and penalties and interest on anything she is in arrears on.
The only way to deal with evil idiots without character is to destroy them. So, have fun!!! }:)
Her toy party may be the only fun she has until the Skids age out from under the CO if she does not catch a clarity clue and pull her head out of her ass. It is your job and DHs job to apply the beatings when she steps out of line.
It might never end, but you
It might never end, but you can't change that. The only thing you can do is stop focusing on it (even though thinking about a drunken penis party is kind of funny). When you find yourself getting worked up over her latest escapade, go out and hit a punching bag for a while, do something that makes you laugh, find your woo-sah place, or all three. Whatever you do, just disengage from this woman because it will only drive you crazy!
Go back to court, have her wages garnished, and have your husband document everything. She is not your ex!
All the best,
A. S. Noraford
Author, Stepfamily Diaries
www.blendedfamilysurvivalguide.com
Wow pretty well all of this
Wow pretty well all of this is similar to the situation I face. SO and BM just recently settled their divorce a couple months ago, after over 4 years, 3.5 I was a part of. SO has full custody, we are now taking her to maintenance enforcement, which she claims she "knows how it works, and is going to run from it", now claiming she wants SS9 to live with her full time (I wonder why...$$$$$) but can't handle him more than two weeks at a time. Etc! I'm curious what everyone has to say..!