Dread when sd comes to my house.
My boyfriend and I have been together almost 3 years. I have 3 kids of my own that live with me, my son is 14 and my girls are 12 and 4. He's been in the middle of a divorce disaster for 4 years and his recent court case got continued......AGAIN! Well he's got the ex from HELL and his kid is 7 and she's a major issue everytime she's here. She's ALWAYS sick, she doesn't know how to SHUT her mouth, always has to be talking and refuses to play with anything that we bought for her to keep her busy and db thinks it's ok for her to just sit infront of the tv all damn day. Db and I fight about the bedroom issue.....we have a 4 bedroom house and my son has his own room, my 12 yr old has her own room and then my 4yr old has to share her room with his child. His kid is only here maybe 2 overnights a month due to DB's work schedule and I want to re do the bedroom for my daughter so I said we need to get rid of the huge loft bed and my daughters toddler bed and get her a twin bed that isn't going to take up a ton of space like the loft bed does and then his kid can sleep on the couch or we can get her an air mattress. His child is sick everytime she's here so I have to move the toddler bed and my kid to her sisters room because his is up coughing and blowing her nose and toss and turns and then like clock work is up at 6am everyday. So I feel like my daughter needs her room to herself. This is the only fight we ever have, everything else is fine. He refuses to listen to me and see my point and we can't afford a bigger house at this time because he's ordered to pay 1500.00/month in child support. I don't even want his kid here, I dread when she's coming and it puts me in a bad mood before she even gets here. Advice pleaseeeeeee?
This kid is 7. Sounds like
This kid is 7. Sounds like she's doing what many kids in that predicament would do.
My advice is for you to get counseling for the amount of hate you have for sd.
You want to get a bed which
You want to get a bed which will make more space in DD4's room, but there will be no room for SD7 and she will have to sleep on an air bed? This is the second post today about stepmums showing that they don't want to make room in their lives for their partners young child by making no room in the home for them and gradually edging them out onto air beds, futons and couches: 'I don't want you here so you can't have a space to call your own'.
In all likelihood at least 80% of DD7s behaviour is down to her parenting (watching TV all day instead of her Dad making the most of what little time he has with her), the divorce conflict, her mothers PASing, and the fact that although she no longer gets to live with her Dad, or even see much of him, 3 other children now get to have him all the time. No wonder she is constantly chasing attention with her illnesses and attention seeking behaviour. And yet your resentment and irritation is focussed on the child? Not only that but your plan is now to arrange things so that she has no bed at your house. A 7 year old should not be sleeping on the couch at her Dad's house if it can possibly be avoided. How would you like it if your children had a stepmum at their Dads house who made them feel that sad and unwelcome? Better to continue moving DD4 to her sisters room if SD is poorly, that's a lot less hurtful to them than it would be to SD to have no bed at all. Can't they have bunk beds or something to make more space but still have enough beds?
I know that having stepchildren visiting can be tense and stressful and irritating, I've been there and bought the t-shirt, but you shouldn't push a 7 year old out by making her feel unwelcome any more than you would want your boyfriend to push your children out by making them feel unwelcome. And if you're thinking 'yes but MY children aren't difficult and annoying like his' - well that's behavioural stuff which it is down to your BF to address.
The whole point is that with
The whole point is that with his kid being sick and is up coughing and blowing her nose and then up at 6 am like clock work my daughter can't sleep. So if this child who is here only one or two overnights a month sleeps on the couch or air mattress then my daughter can have her own space. And as far as shower, she doesn't shower here while we have her because the ex cuntess orderes db not to shower her because her skin gets dried out when we shower her :?
Yes it's very clear to
Yes it's very clear to everyone that responded that your 4 year old having her own space all to herself is the priority here. If your BF only gets 2 overnights with his daughter then on those nights her needs should have greater priority than bring stuck on the couch because she is inconsiderate enough to get ill. And does your 4 year old really sleep much past 6 anyway? Because mine doesn't. Have you thought what will happen when the custody battle is over if your BF gets more overnights? What are you going to do then?
I don't know what I'm going
I don't know what I'm going to do to be honest with you. My 4 year old sleeps until 930 or so. She's a 12-14 hour sleeper.