After the divorce DH was awarded the house with instructions to sell the house.  In lieu of Beaver contributing to half of the mortage payments, CS was suspended and DH paid the mortgage outright.  Beaver decided that she did not want the martial mattress, the marital bedroom set she wanted, the mattress no. DH, he was cool with that. He found a cheap bedset on Craigs list to use and then just used the marital mattress.  He needed a bedset so the house looked nice when showing.

When I came over the spend the night at Dh's house, we slept on the mattress.  its a mattress, covered in a new mattress cover and new sheets. (Beaver took all the sheets and towels).  Cool, cool...I'm good and considering my youth..this bed probably  had less cooties on it than some I have slept in before,  

DH decided to change realtors since the one they had was a friend of beaver's friend and wasn't doing much to sell the house.  As per the agreement, Beaver had to be there to meet the realtor. Ok...cool.

Realtor show up,...Dh is there.  They are waiting for Beaver.  The woman is LATE to EVERYTHING. She will be late to her own funeral, mark my words.  Beaver finally shows up.  They tour the house and the Realtor is downstairs writing up the new contract.  Beaver wants to talk to DH upstairs alone.  DH is none to keen on this idea so he says sure upstairs in the loft.   The loft overlooked the living room where Realtor is at.   Dh also calls me on the cell phone and leaves that on the desk in the loft so I can overhear everything. To say he didn't trust Beaver would be an understatement.

Beaver promptly says to DH, you know...its been so long.  We could sneak off into the bedroom and you can f*ck me like we used to.  She then rushes over to DH and tries to kiss and rub against him.  

Dh shouts loudly.  "Beaver gtf off of me.  I don't want to f*ck you. Heck I don't want to look you.  No quit making a fool out of yourself. (keep in mind, I can hear this and the Realtor can here this since they are in the loft).

Beaver now a mad Beaver yells..well I hope your whore knows she is sleeping in my c*m stains on that bed.

At that point the Realtor walked into the loft with the papers to sign.  (I think he knew he better break this mess up).

Beaver signs the real estate contract and leaves with a f*ck you DH and that coffee table you have looks old and used like your whore.  (She had never seen me os whatever).

Dh now gets his phone says I'll call you in a few and hangs up.

The Realtor says..wow she is quite a tool.  Let me know if you need to testify later about what she said.  I have an ex wife so I know the type.

And that is the Beaver, the Bed and Realtor.

BTW..we used that mattress for another 6 years. It was almost brand new when they divorced.  I told DH doesn't matter that she was there first..I WAS THERE LAST.