What to expect from testifying?
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BM's petition to have a hearing sooner than the 30 December was denied. Looks like she'll possibly have a two day old infant the day of the hearing.
Lawyer told me today that I'll have to testify along with BM's husband. Has anybody else had to do this? I don't know what to expect but it makes me nervous thinking about it.
We are scheduling a strategy
We are scheduling a strategy meeting with the lawyer soon. Today was dropping off the contract and retainer fee. I figure BM's lawyer is going to do everything she can to make me (us) look bad. I'll stick with the vocabulary you offered; it sounds great. This is the first time I've ever had to testify. I'm a bit nervous. We have nothing to be ashamed of but it feels so, well, overwhelming.
Don't forget that if you
Don't forget that if you don't know or don't remember its perfectly OK to say so. Beware her attorney will phrase questions, facial and body language to draw you into saying something you don't really want to say. It's perfectly all right to not even look at him/her. Hear the words, hesitate before answering, think the questions over then answer. Its perfectly OK to say that you do not understand or do wish to have it repeated.
If s/he is bullying you, raising their voice or insulting you just stop answering and wait a second or more until your mind is clear then ask that the question be repeated.
Conversely s/he may be the nicest person in the court room and be only interested in the facts as you saw them so don't go in thinking its going to be hell.
Listed your only roll is to tell the truth as you saw it. You can't go wrong when you just answer what you saw or heard. Like was said above don't answer more than the question asks for. "Did you see him climb the mountain" "Yes" Don't tell them that you also saw him walk down the mountain, catch a bird or fall on his head. Just answer the question.
Sometimes a lawyer will make a statement. "He can be harsh on the kids." That's a statement - just don't say a word. If prompted ask that the question be repeated and keep doing so until its phrased as a question. "Is he harsh on the kids?" No.
When all is said and done remember the judge and the attorneys all put their underwear on the say way in the morning. Judges are used to nervous witnesses and nobody is going to yell or get mad at you. If her attorney does just look at the judge and ask that you be treated with respect. Most of the bad stuff won't happen and remember as the witness you are actually in control of the court room until you're done answering. Wait. Think. Speak slowly.
I appreciate the advice. To
I appreciate the advice. To be most honest, though, I'm really scared. Maybe it's silly, but I can't help but be scared.
I happily testified for my
I happily testified for my wife when DipShit and SpermGrandMa filed for custody of my SS. We finally went to court a week after we married. I testified again when my wife filed for a CS review 9 years later.
It was no big deal either time. The first time the SpermClan's idiot attorney tried to infer that my DW and I had cohabitated before getting married. We each had our own homes at the time so it was easy to bare his idiot ass on that one. We moved to a different state a week before we married which was what the SpermIdiot's attorney keyed in on but since my mother helped my wife move and was visiting with me we pretty much deflected that crap too. Their attorney could not deflect the fact that the SpermIdiot had married his 16yo GF to avoid a statutory rape charge. He was 24 at the time.
As a Sparent the judge made it very clear that I was not a party to the case and my only participation was if I was called as a witness. Which I was.
There is likely nothing to be nervous about.
Our marital status, is, well,
Our marital status, is, well, not so cut and dry. We've been living together for years and have a stable family environment with the kids where we're both rather equally involved in their upbringing. I could go into the reasons why our marital status is, eh, but those reasons have nothing to do with the kids and are rather irrelevant to this case. I don't think that BM is going to raise a stink about our martial status because she knows it's irrelevant, too.
I've been looking at the reasons why our state would ask someone in my position to testify and it looks like it's because they want to see if we have a stable home and to ensure that the adults living with the kids are all looking out for their best interest.
I am looking forward to talking with the lawyer right now so I can put a number of these nagging questions to rest. My partner says that we are in good shape and I shouldn't worry -- he even says that it's probably for the best that I testifying.
For now, I'll take his and all of your advice and try not to worry about it. In the mean time, SS has strep and I'm coming down with something to. So I'll worry about him in the mean time.
Your atty will likely go over
Your atty will likely go over whatever they will ask you in advance to help you get your answers to the point. If they're good, they will also go over things the other atty is likely to ask so you can practice your answer to be sure you're only answering the question and phrasing things correctly to get your point understood.
I just went through this for
I just went through this for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I was extremely nervous, but it was not even close to being as bad as I thought. Our attorney told me to answer with as little words as possible: yes, no, i don't know, i don't remember. I did exactly this. The BM's attorney got mad that she couldn't get an adverse reaction out of me and gave up. Don't get me wrong, she did try. She even accused me of being a home wrecker and tried to say my 3 yo old isa violent child (he's not, but will stand up for himself against his stepbrother who is truly violent). I just answered truthfully and with as few words as possible. It was not near as bad as I expected, and I walked away very proud of myself. Good luck!
Before DH and I were married,
Before DH and I were married, I was called to testify. I went to DHs attny's office and had a practice run. In the end I ended up not testifying- the judge didnt need to hear any more. Dont stress it, just be honest and do not talk negatively about BM at all!