I need advise. My ex is and always has been abusive verbally and emotionally. I have a RO against him and sole legal custody of the kids. The children's therapist met with him and told me they believe he is bi-polar and the text book case of NPD. He is one of those people that does nothing without a string attached. For example when I first moved out and into my own place 3 years ago, I tried for a couple of months to be decent for the kids sake. One day when he dropped the kids off (no over nights at this point) he asked what I was doing. I told him I was going to Lowes because my washer water line leaked. He pushed and pushed until I said yes, we can all go together. When it came time to go to court for my RO (after a huge blow up in front of the PD with the kids there) he actually tried to use him helping with my washer as a reason why I shouldn't get the RO.
Okay, that is just a little history ....
Anyways, he had the kids for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. I have them the second half of Christmas break. He emailed me and then told the kids that if I want to see them for half the day on both holidays.
Of course I want them. This will be the first time dd10 and DS8 wouldn't be with me on Christmas morning or thanksgiving. Divorce took 19 months, and up until the divorce was final at the beginning last year ex didn't have over nights. Last year was my year and this year is his. Kids of course want to see us both since dad told them they could if I want them. Soo I'm torn. Yes, I want my kids. Not looking forward to holidays without them. But I follow the court order and I don't want to "owe" the ex anything. My DH says this is one he will not touch with a ten foot pole, it is up to me.