SD7 grandmother calling my fiancee
Please let me know what the best course of action is here.. I lost my mind on my fiance..but I'm not sure what to do now.
My fiance's exmother in law is apparently very involved in his exs life. She called him the other day and was telling him that he should pay more child support, asking him questions about where his money goes and being childish arguing with him. I was right beside him. He told her not to call etc...
I literally when off the deep end on this one.. WHY in god's name is this acceptable?
i told him to block her number off of his phone and his response was that his kid calls sometimes from her grandma's house. My issue really is this..
My fiance and his ex have been apart for 4.5 years. I am so pissed off because the ex's mother is calling and stressing out my fiance indirectly causing issues in our relationship. She has called 3 times within the past 4 months that I know about. I really freaked right out. And told him to block the number..
I am wondering, obviously this exfamily is unstable. And obviously it is not in my control. However, if I am to start a life and a family with my fiance.. I really don't think this is all appropriate. I don't think he wants to ruffle feathers in filing for harassment because that will mean that the family will continuously take him back to court for more child support every year... which the ex doesnt have to pay for her lawyer because she gets legal aid... we do however.
any thoughts would be appreciated.
I am still so mad and I really don't know what to do.
My fiance told me he blocked the number, so i checked and he did not... I just want to leave.
Rxgbm, I guess what you have
Rxgbm,
I guess what you have said is all correct... I just cannot stand someone treating him like crap for no reason when she isn't even the mother of the child and has no business calling him when she is drunk and accusing him of things that are not even going on... there is so much to the story and to my anger towards that family. Maybe I am seeing it as they are interfering with our life now, and we don't need to extra problems.. And that if he allows this crap to go on, then we will deal with it until when? Forever?
He takes care of his child, and pays the support. I don't think any negativity added to the situation is really called for on her part but maybe I should either leave or but out?
What do all of you do when you see something that bothers you in this step family dynamic?
Are we always supposed to but out or suck it up??
thank you dtsy blond! These
thank you dtsy blond! These situations just make us feel so helpless. And I am not a woman to be run over ever by anyone. So when I hear another woman, much less a woman from his exs drama who have caused soo much bs in his life and DO NOT take proper care of the child to begin with... I was not very happy. I just want our lives to be the least bit 'dramatic' as possible. We have SD eow and thats fun and we all get along great.. for the most part still working on some discipline. But when these things happen its SO DAMN HARD to just bite your lip you know?
I will try to take the high road and keep the peace so that there isn't much turmoil.. But when even SD7 is saying sometimes, o my grandma doesn't like daddy... We have a problem. Why can't anyone just shut their mouths for the sake of the children? Why bring a failed relationship to an innocent child's life?.. Its not their fault. And they are the ones who pay every single day. This phone call represents the chaos that the little girl goes through. And I wish I could wake them all up because its not doing her any good..
sooo frusterating! omg. Somedays its hard to let things slide.. but I will give it my best shot.
I have lived this nearly
I have lived this nearly exact issue. My SS's SpermGrandMa is a hag-bitch from hell and was our biggest cross to bear during the 17+ years of our Custody/Visitation/Support Court Order. In our case my DW was the CP and SpermGrandMa would call and bitch and moan about getting CS lowered rather than raised. Her idiot son (The SpermIdiot, DickHead, DipShitIdiot, etc...) went on to spawn 3 more also out of wedlock children by two more baby mamas after my DW kicked him out for cheating on her.
I do agree with others who have told you that sneeking a peak at you DF's blocked number list and being overly envolved in this likely makes you the bigger part of this problem. Deep breaths, back off and partner with your DF rather than stipulate what he will do.
My DW and partnered to battle the SpermClan and to smack SpermGrandMa about the head and shoulders with the court order whenever she crawled out from under her rock. Which, unfortunately, was several times each year. As for BM taking your DF to court for a CS mod every year ... that is very possibly not likely. Most states to not allow for a CS review more frequently than every 2 years unless there is a major change of circumstance.
IMHO your DF needs to not speak with WombGrandMa. He is not obligated to speak to her at all and if she calls he should ask if his daugther is there and if she is to speak with her. He should not engage in any discussion with WombGrandMa regarding the Court Order except to smack her with it when necessary.
IMHO of course.