12 and 15?? Wtf?? That is ridiculous. Tell those kids to stay in their beds. That is just ridiculous. They aren't little babies. I don't agree with co-sleeping at any age, but for God sakes, these are teenagers!

My SD is 5 and we all moved in together when she was 2. She has been co-sleeping with her dad (my DH) and when we moved in together, I put my foot down- THERE WILL BE NO KIDS IN MY BED. NEVER. EVER. NOT FOR ANY REASON. NOT HAPPENING. Put your foot down!!

Nope, we have a no kids in the bedroom rule. I don't want that little punk in my bed whether I am there or not!

:jawdrop:

Why do a 12-year-old boy and 15-year-old girl who are siblings WANT to sleep in the same bed? That's just really, really skeevy.

DH's kid isn't even allowed to come upstairs. There are two rooms upstairs my office and our bedroom. She has no business being in those two rooms ever.

I am very clear with DH on this subject. I need personal space away from his kid and the rest of the house. Our bedroom and office serve as that space.

The one time she went up there, she found a very unpleasant surprise (at least for a teenage girl who believes all adults are asexual) on my nightstand. If you know what I mean.

She won't even go near the stairs any longer.

Your bedroom is when you and your DW have your most intimate moments. If that is violated by any of the kids, then the room becomes less and less special to the two of you. She can't have it both ways, it's either your quiet couples space or it's the kids movie/playroom. Make her decide.

I moved in with DH when his kids were 4 and 5. We had a no kid rule then. immediately. when our door is shut, they knock- they are not allowed in our room without one of us. And they still abide by this years later.
When they were scared, DH or I would go into their room with them.... we both feel that the adult bed is for adults.

Co-sleeping with children, especially that age is one of the BIGGEST indicators of "guilty/disney parenting."

Here are some more indicators--just switch the genders:

1. Does your man say "I don't want to discipline them when they're with me; I get them for such a short time. . .I just want them to have a good time and relax."

2. Are his children failing in school?

3. Are they WAAAAAY behind academically (functioning at 2-5 grade levels BELOW their actual grade)?

4. Does your man just wave off academic failure, blaming the teachers and excusing it with "they're late bloomers" etc?

5. Does your man pay little to no attention to grades/teacher conferences saying that the BM will handle it or expect you to handle it?

6. Does your man, when presented with inappropriate behaviour on behalf of his children say things like "they'll grow out of it" "it's just a stage" "you just don't like my children" "it doesn't matter how they're parented; they'll turn out the way they turn out?"

7. If you have biochildren of your own, does your man use them as scapegoats for bad behaviour by his own children?

8. Is there a "double standard" with two sets of rules, one set of "no rules" for his children and one set of "very strict rules" for yours?

9. Does your man get inappropriately defensive when bad behaviour is brought up regarding his children? Does he say things like "why can't you say anything GOOD about MY children?"

10. On the extremely rare ocassion when he DOES discipline, usually after something so major that cannot be swept under the rug happens, does the punishment NOT fit the crime? (i.e. no Wii for a night after said child has violently assaulted another child) Does he use excuses like "it's too late/they're too old for them to change now."

SS is 5 and rarely is even allowed in our room - and if he is must stay by the door as the *nightstand* is on my side and well he'd be scared lol.

I know when I was gone for a extended period last summer DH let SS sleep in our bed a night or two I was gone about 2 weeks so it didn't seem that big of a deal.

I would cringe and go nuts if he slept in our bed now he is old enough for his bed and actually ask to sleep on the couch now as a "treat" rather than with us even when he is sick.

You need to confront this head on she needs to know it is not okay whether she tells you the truth or not.