"Daddyyyyy you have to buy me a car and pay for my gas
Because I'm a good kid ......................"
:jawdrop:
Yup that was our dinner convo last night, after SD16 "drove" us to the restaurant, she just got her permit and I told FDH I'm NOT driving with her, yup FDH put me on the spot and I said I would drive separate and it was big f'ing deal so I gave in. She sucks and it took us a f'ing hour to go 10 miles. And she was dying for my opinion and my approval on her driving :? She was awful
FDH told me XW will be paying for half of sd16's car- according to who??? EVERYTIME I bring it up he avoids it, and SD16 "You HAVE to buy me a car you bought ss and sd21 cars blah blah blah" He has not asked XW to pay for half it is assumed that FDH is paying for the whole thing- he's playing dumb, I just want him to be honest about it. XW calls him " I found a car for SD16 it's $X,000 it would be a good car for her- So obviously XW is planning on FDH paying for it too. You know what his response was? " I don't have the $ right now" NOT Are you paying for half WTF
All he would say to SD16 is "We will see" Really FDH? So I ask him on the way home if you are not planning on paying for her gas since she has a job why would you tell her "we will see'? You should have been honest and told her straight up how it's going to be so she knows what to expect.........
His response " I'm so glad everyone is bashing SD16 as soon as she gets out of the car" Well played FDH, get the heat off you and turn it into a SD16 is a victim and all I do is bash her bc I hate her........ RIGHT?????
I'm so mad! I called him out on flipping the script and it turned into a big fight. Now we aren't talking and of course, " We are fighting bc goincrazy always picks a fight when SD16 is coming over and after she leaves"
Also, FDH is getting surgery in Nov for a reversal- We are still working the details out and he told SD16...CAN NOTHING BE BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS FIANCEE???? She is the last person I want to know- I just feel like he's looking for her approval and it pisses me the fuck off.
UGH- I'm just frustated- maybe I should've posted this in bitch it out Thursday 
hahaha Oh I definitely told
hahaha Oh I definitely told her she needs to work on turning, slowing down BEFORE we reach the line at the light and not slamming the breaks on and BD9 piped in and said she needs to work on stopping }:) it was funny. More importantly she will NEVER drive my car. Hopefully, I won't see her for another few weeks....ugh
I would have loved too, at
I would have loved too, at the time I wasn't aware she even knew
I'd be telling DH to cancel
I'd be telling DH to cancel the reversal surgery, he has his kids and doesn't seem to be too invested in anything but his kids.
FFS, why do skids feel entitled to a car?? I didn't get a car handed to me, I had to do extra chores to drive the good car. I didn't own my own car until I turned 18.
I do feel like this sometimes
I do feel like this sometimes
I actually think that if your
I actually think that if your kid is responsible and good in school, it is ok to help with a car if you can and want to. (Kid MUST help with insurance and gas)
My DH, on the other hand, always told me that parents who did that were spoiling their kids and being terrible parents blablabla.
Guess who ran out and bought SS a truck when he turned 16? Guess who paid for SS's gas and insurance for two years? DH. Darn hypocrite!!
I agree "to help" Not to give
I agree "to help" Not to give and expect it
This is exactly what I'm
:jawdrop: This is exactly what I'm afraid of. She believes it is owed to her, it's her right and he HAS to get her a car :sick:
We have no idea how she is doing in school, she says she's doing good so FDH believes her :?
I'm just so sick of all the bullshit- everything is great when SD16 gets what she wants. Then she was talking crap to FDH about how he's stressing her out and yelling at her when she's driving. FML I should have just gotten out. Ungrateful B
It seems to me that she
It seems to me that she believes she's entitled to it because DH lets her believe that. He hasn't done anything to change her thought pattern or behavior, and he's stuck with a brat because of it.
I agree with you .. looking back I probably would've taken a separate car or refused to go altogether.
Our funds are separate
Our funds are separate
exactly- I gave him the death
exactly- I gave him the death stare the entire time. He put me on the spot intentionally and I have anxiety when people can't drive well, I feel like we are going to crash, this was no exception and he knows it. Lesson learned- I'll be the bitch if I have to. I'm NOT doing that again
Nowhere is it written that a
Nowhere is it written that a kid, upon turning 16 has a car given to them. A car is still a luxury since public transportation is rampant these days. Simply handing over such an expensive and dangerous piece of equipment SHOULD be a bigger deal than it is made out to be. I will never understand why it is so unpopular to have a kid work towards something so important.
My XSS was GIVEN 2 cars. No need to work for it b/c he's soooo deserving. Really, why does he deserve it? Did he work his a$$ off for it? Did he show extreme responsibility, work hard in school, go out and get a PT job to help defray any of the cost? Will he be paying for insurance, maintenance, personal propery tax, titling and licensing fees? NOPE! On top of that he will NEVER know how to do any of these things b/c as per usual, it will be done for him. Exactly where do life lessons fit in here?? Why does this fit in to the 'that's OK' category of society these days? It's not acceptable and until the ADULTS begin to set the tone, we (as human beings) will continue on this downward spiral of devolution. Very scary.
As for DH not giving you ANY indicators about what HIS plans are in relation to this car, you can bet he's going to give it to her. I don't know why some men can not simply just say it, and be done with it. They don't like the drama but, they sure as hell are the one's creating it! BTDT.
Whew, I'm on a roll today, lol. Sorry.
Exactly, and she did get a
Exactly, and she did get a job so she will have $ for her own gas. Thats why I'm so pissed, I KNOW he's going to spring it on me last min and buy the car. Thats exactly why he's avoiding it now.
Preach on- he sure doesn't get it and he uses me as a scapegoat just like Sd16 and XW do, it's just in a different way
He was making a lot more
He was making a lot more money back then and he was married....things are much different now but poor SD16 is the victim of divorce and everything is soooo unfair!!!!!!!!
Yes, I don't ask but I do
Yes, I don't ask but I do know he bought his step son (XW kid) THREE f'ing cars bc he blew the motor in all of them by not taking care of them FDH is a dumbass for that. I have no idea who paid for gas, apparently it was BM and FDH- ridiculous, that would explain why these kids are entitled and Sd16 expects the same. He knows things are different but "It's not SD16's fault" and she palys the victim well. I'm sure she will get everything she wants and more- straight from FDH's pocket.
Daddy's not good for nothin but his $- and he does NOT have $ like that, which is why I'm frustrated. Lot's of things to pay for but somehow SD16's car in f'ing February is a priority? GTFO
Hey it's better than my SS4
Hey it's better than my SS4 having a truck - mind you it sets in the pasture and they will start it up and use it to do burn out and stuff as the breaks are crap.
It started when DH decided to sell the jeep we had to get a project vehicle and something hatt I could drive if something happened to my car without having to drive his truck - not sure why he decided to look at another diesel truck pretty much defeating the purpose of me not having to pay tons for fuel. DH was looking on craiglist and found a First Gen Dodge Diesel and wanted to go look at it for fun as the kid was selling it pretty much for what the motor is worth because he wanted more computers in his truck. DH went out and put a new starter on it and we legit bought it for less than what the motor is worth - well I thought we were going to fix it up and have fun with as we both like restoring stuff and the body wasn't even in that bad of shape, well FIL has one similar and told his son6 that it was his truck (mind you he ended up selling it about 6mnths later) and so SS started professing that the truck we bought was his and blah blah like it was a competition between the two boys - well I ended up fixing a major issue on my car and DH talked about me buying a new/used car when I started my new job....and SS is convinced that since the truck isn't used it is his - I already worried about when he gets older and decides that it isn't cool to drive a 'vintage' truck what DH will do - we all know BM won't do anything she still drives the car DH bought for her...
Same with BM, she's driving
Same with BM, she's driving the paid off car FDH bought her. I think she should give SD16 her car since she wants a new one, FDH's child support more then covers a new car payment as well. bitch
DH actually paid off BMs car
DH actually paid off BMs car right before he filed for divorce as BM had no job and still essentially doesn't want one to ensure he was going to have to pay additional and try to ensure CS went towards SS which we highly doubt is happening BM smokes, has gotten a brand new iPhone within the last month but complains the AC in her car isn't working and she's too broke (something I can see her using CS for as we live in TX). She is a piece of work she used to ask DH to work on her car since he doesn't believe in putting it in the shop if he can fix it but hasn't in a while - I secretly hope one day he will say yes and accidentally put gas in the oil or something....my vindictive side.
I would disengage from this
I would disengage from this whole situation. Let your dh pay for the car, gas....assuming of course it isn't coming out of your pocket too!!
If he wants to pay for it all, let him
This way you don't have to stress over it, and by you sitting back and saying nothing, he can't accuse you of picking on your SD16
I agree completely with
I agree completely with Disillusioned. Although "letting him" isnt really reality, sounds like he will go ahead and buy the car anyhow. Keep your finances completely separate when there are older kids. We do. That way I don't feel so resentful when DH spends money foolishly on his kids. (Hard to let ALL the resentment go). But I know my views on parenting and how I want to raise my kids. He has different views and I have seen this type of spoiling before in family and friends, the kids always turn out awful, dysfunctional and financially dependent. The parents scratch their heads wondering what went wrong and bitching about it all the time. DUH. As to the car thing....unfortunately life has changed a lot since we were that age and these days all the kids seem to expect a car at 16. I know, I know, its crazy. Look around at their friends and they all seem to have cars. But the car thing can be done without spoiling them. Its called a job and making payments to you. Even if they can only pay for their insurance and a small amount each week towards the car, it teaches them responsibility. My son is still making payments to me for his second car and I expect him to keep that up until its paid for. He was financially independent at 20 and knows he owes me the money (I am a bank that doesnt charge interest)!!
Teenage drivers suck My
Teenage drivers suck
My youngest stepson has been in 2 accidents in 4 months.
1st one he over shot his parking space at high school and slammed into the car in front of him. Both cars had bad front damage and had to be towed and repaired. Our insurance covered it.
2nd accident was last Monday. He fell asleep and rammed into cars at a stop light. He hit them so hard that the car he rear-ended lurched forward and the rear ended the car in front of them and then THAT car was pushed into the car in front of them! In total he wrecked 4 cars that day! His car had to be towed with bad damage. The one he rear ended was totaled a the two cars in front of them also had damage.
He lied he fell asleep but that teen driver cam thing they have to have nowdays caught the last 8 seconds and they said he was asleep. That kid is always nothing but trouble and he stays up all night playing on his computer and then doesn't want to get up to go to school.
In the past 4 months he wrecked his car twice and caused damage to 5 other cars.
He is on OUR insurance. I told my DH not to let him on our insurance as we also have the older stepson on ours. But he did anyway and we are going to pay dearly for it. While horsefaced BM doesn't have to deal with shit.
I hate it. Sometimes I think about leaving.