For loving me and my bio and I'm so f'n sick of it.

She uses her presence as punishment so in turn he tries to buy her love and presence :sick:

Since FDH gave SD16 her car she hasn't come on her scheduled days at all. She comes on a different day of the week, it bugs me- I like consistency but whatever, FDH is just over the moon she's even coming bc she's ditched him a few times recently. She TOLD him she's coming to our house to hang out and will even stay over night yesterday (She has stayed the night on Christmas eve only in the past year and a half) I was really freakin irritated bc it's spring break so this little thief is gonna sit at our house alone all day??? Why??? I don't trust her.
FDH was SO excited she's spending the night. So she was there all day yesterday ALONE, FDH told her he had stuff to do and wanted to go to my bio's first day of practice and had been planning on it before she decided to come over etc. Her bf was also there but I guess just showed up??? right. :? I stopped home from work for 15 min, picked up my bio- encouraged FDH to stay home bc I was pissed, didn't work, we left.

We arrive at practice and FDH's phone starts going off with all these text msgs. Yup, you guessed it! SD16 ripping him a new one and guilt tripping him for leaving without spending time with her and talking to her a lot :jawdrop: Her f'n boyfriend was there!! WTF?! So she took off in her car FDH bought her , she left. FDH looked so sad and pathetic. Why did I almost feel sorry for him???

I'm so f'n irritated. We fight bc I tell him that when we have plans and we are busy he should tell her that it's not a good night to come over, he refuses to say that bc "This is her home" No, no it's not. She doesn't live here, is she welcome here? Of course, it's his kid but this isn't her permanent residence or even her part time residence. She's a visitor. I know whats going to happen. It's the same cycle. She wants to come over when we are busy, then throws it in his face that he has no time for her. She only has time when it's convenient for her. Typical but annoying.

FDH says it's not fair to my bio that he doesn't come to her stuff when SD16 decides to pop up.

Why does he not realize it's all a part of her game???? He had the nerve to say she probley sensed we were fighting??? I didn't see her at all, and we didn't talk at all so unless he told her how would she know?? He started back peddling and I ripped into him too. Don't you dare turn this around and make an excuse for why she left and make it partly my fault!!! F U!!!!! Seriously.

Her BF was over so she obviously wasn't to concerned about spending quality time with FDH. FDH said he told her about the practice and she was fine with it then??? I try to protect FDH I guess, I encourage him to stick to their regular schedule. I tell him it's my responsibility to take my kid to sports, not his responsibility so he should stay home with his kid- he didn't want to. Now he's feeling guilty, I'm mad and FDH is still full of excuses for her, now it's that SD16 is jealous of my bio and that he is supportive of her so he feels bad for SD16!!!! :jawdrop:

I'm so frustrated with the constant drama, FDH making excuses and SD16 pulling her shit. I can see right through it and FDH can't. When SD16 is around I want nothing to do with FDH or SD16- I give them space and their time together. I'm sick of her shit and going through this angry/dread everytime I hear she's coming over, the anxiety of what the new drama will be is overwhelming. I have nothing to do with her- I sometimes give a courteous "hello" THAT IS IT. She has ruined and squashed any morsel of a relationship we did have with her lies, stealing, drama and rumors she spread around the family about me that they still believe.

When FDH asks why I don't trust her and I tell him it's because she stole my things, he says, "I'm holding a grudge, I never let anything go, She's just a kid and he asked her about it and she said "no" " :?
I know the problem is him, and we only fight about SD16. As much as I disengaged from her I can't stop the resentment that builds every time she pulls her antics and I'm tired of going through the same cycle over and over because FDH can't get his head out of his ass.

I'm the one paying the price, for all this bullshit I don't want to deal with.

Whats the solution for us? For FDH? Without saying just leave him, what needs to be done because he's not listening to me and it keeps backfiring on him. so ladies and gentleman please give advice that I am going to read to him because I'm just exhausted with this mess.