Am I being unreasonable?
I have really struggled to bond with my SS6. He lives with BM Mon-Fri and we have him every weekend Fri-Sun. Me and SO have been together for 2 and half years and have a DD1.
Me and SS6 have never bonded but things have got so much worse since having DD1.
He constantly wants his dads attention, cries if he doesnt get it and SO feels so guilty he over compensates with everything, at the expense of me and our daughter. Our daughter gets very little attention, and I get zero!
Things had got so bad recently - SS6 did not want to go places if I was going, didnt want to come in the house if I was there etc - this was causing anger, upset and tension for everyone, so SO moved out.
We have discussed how to move forward from this but neither of us can see how to make things better.
I have asked if we change when SS6 is at our house, so once a month he goes back to BM on Sat instead of Sun so we get one day to ourselves, so I can relax and enjoy a day with my family. I have suggested that he could stay 1 or 2 nights in the week instead, so we are not reducing the time he is at our house. And if he stopped in the week it would mean me and SS6 would have to spend time together as SO would be at work, so thought this might help to improve our relationship.
SO completely refuses to even talk about it and says I am wrong to even ask.
Am I wrong to ask? I just dont know what else to do.
Your SO is the problem. What
Your SO is the problem. What parent allows a 6 YEAR OLD CHILD to dictate how his father's life is going to be? The appropriate response to a child who doesn't want to do something is either "Do it or else...." or "Go to your room until you can behave." He is not allowed to disrespect adults, period. You are better off without this guy and his toxic baggage.
^^ This I understand wanting
Think about you!
Yes, your SO is a huge
Yes, your SO is a huge disappointment. What, he doesn't like conflict so his solution is to abandon you and his other child? I hope he's not getting benefits, like affection from you when he feels like stopping by. I know if my SO abandoned me, he would get nothing but an offer of a cold shower.
Your SO needs to grow up, I'm sorry to say. You deserve so much better. How dare he sacrifice you and his other child for this jealous little brat. it's like he doesn't want to be a parent at all. Any man who lets a 6 yo brat run his life, and then leaves just because you don't agree to let this same brat run your life is totally lame, not even worth your time.
He may have done you a big favor, now you don't have to deal with step brat every weekend, my weekends are like gold to me, I certainly don't think I could sacrifice every weekend to someone else's kid. I have my SS full time, but he's older and stays in his room most of the time. SO and I can still do fun adult stuff together on the weekends, because SS would rather stay home alone and play video games than have to spend an afternoon sharing his daddy with me.
If it were me, I'd probably just go after him for child support and be done with him. I know, easier said than done, but you owe this man nothing. He does owe you financial support of his child, though.
I had a similar situation,
I had a similar situation, although my SD is 13.
It took about 7months of some really tense times and some really ugly fights with my DH, but he now understands that while he can spend time with SD13, she WILL NOT dictate where and when I spend my time.
I was good with time they spent by themselves, then it got ridiculous within the family because she wouldn't attend events if I was around. In the beginning, I bowed out. Then my SIL of all things had a stern talk with me. She made me realize to stand up for myself and not give in to the whims of a 13yr old, but more importantly, make DH see it. (this is DH's sister)
I finally did, but it took a lot of tears. Do you have any kind of support system?