BM can get bent, I am done being nice!
BM sent a big email this friday when we got the kids... here is a little history.
BF works 10 hour shifts so I end up dropping the kids off at day care in the mornings so they dont get pulled out of bed at 6 am. BM had a huge problem with this saying if I was taking care of the kids they shouldnt be here. I literally was letting them sleep in feeding them breakfast and dropping them off... thats it. We had a agreement that BF got them weekends when he was on evenings and weekdays when he was on days. He has 2 weeks days two week evenings. Originally he was supposed to have fridays off on evenings and this changed. So I was picking up the kids from daycare friday night... again a huge problem for her. Our reaction was hey this is what happens in regular life you get a babysitter if you cant be there! Friday nights BF was taking his lunch break to come home and put the kids to bed. BM has asked that I communicate with her when it comes to SD because SD opens up to me about things so I read the emails so I know what is going on.
Anyways fast forward to this fri... SS got the flu BM lets BF know that she needs him to pick up SS. BF goes and picks him up and lets her know he is on evenings. She does not say A WORD or react when she finds out... why...? she has plans to go out (we have our ways of finding these things out in a small town). BF gets this long trade off email, BM found out in court that I am expecting. BM states that she wants us to hold off telling skids and that when we do want to tell them can he tell her. BM feels she and him should tell the kids so they know nothing changes. Furthermore SD said that I have been talking about babies lately and BM wants us to relax and slow it down but she realizes is our way of prepping her. Then BM says that SD says I have been talking with her alot about feelings... and BM feels that SD does not like these talks. SD also told her that I have been asking questions about BM's new bf.
Heres the thing SD brought up this new BF and when SD does talk about it (I never bring it up SD does that on her own) she looks at the ground and wont look us in the face. I questioned SD once to makes sure everything was ok and other then that just told SD that it was good her mom was happy every other time it was brought up. Thing is I can tell soemthing is bother SD her mother also mention this in the email. So I have been spending a little time every few days talking about feelings and what she has felt throughout the day (SD's counselor asked us to do this).
BM txts me to see how her son is... I promptly emailed her and told her how her son was doing and explained what had been actually going on in our home. I told her why I had questioned the bf thing and hoped she understood why. I also told her I was only responding because it was a trade day and I felt most of what she said had to do with myself. Also I would be standing behind BF's stand on emails only on trade days and would not be texting.. I recieved this back
Quite frankly these are not your kids,I believe that they belong to me and to BF! I don't care nor want to hear what you think! I have to do what's best for my kids and that's what I will do!! You think that you are the only one trying to make this situation easy! Well news flash Hun, I don't like you either! I was willing to put on a smile for my kids, not happening anymore! I don't want to hear your views anymore I don't care what you think! Stay out of my life!! I will deal with BF from this point on, you wanna make that hard for him then he is the only one that suffers!!
Sent from my iPhone
Well thank GOD!!! She was told I could stay out of her life if she could refrain from contacting my family every 3 days. Your kids are your kids as are mine you have no place telling my news of my child and never will. I have done research and you cannot have anyone other the expectant parents or the child feels left out.
Its funny how she thinks she can make it any worse for BF since she has everything to loose being that she is going back to school putting her income at 0 and getting spousal support and cs and is moving the kids to a different town. What is even better is we are moving two and taking her back to court for joint. This woman has so much to loose it isnt even funny!
Exactly why I am of the
Exactly why I am of the belief that Stepmom and BM's should have no communication. Nothing good ever comes from it....All it does is piss each other off....Stop and let him handle everything. Block her from your phone and email....
Disengage from BM. I have the
Disengage from BM.
I have the same problems with SD's BM. I has tried my best to make sure that SD3 was/is always happy, and BM HATES it. I use to do pick ups and Drop offs, because my FH work schedule is ever changing. BM would send me nasty texts one day and ask how my pregnancy/s were going. I was done with being nice, so I told her the last time I picked SD up (SD was in the car, so she didn't hear the Convo.)
This is what I told her:
I wanna be in your life as much as you wanna be in mine. I'll worry about how SD is on our time, and you do the same on yours. We are not friends, never will be. So I suggest that you just but out.
Needless to say, she now calls FH and is trying to make life hard for us. I cant help but laugh, cause I know FH and our family is happy and she's not, and she can't stand that FH is happier with me than he ever was with her. = )
Also I know SD talks about how much fun it is at dad's house (she has two younger half sisters, with another sibling on the way here with us) and she talks to everyone about them!! And it kills BM that she will talk about her sisters, but won't talk aboutBM's son (SD's half brother)
Sounds like the BM your dealing with is just as crazy as the BM we deal with. Lol, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Justddisengage from BM. You don't need the stress, and trust me you'll be so much happier.
lol do these women have a
lol do these women have a secrete society we dont know about that have rules to abide by?! The thing that kills me is a couple months ago she was asking me for input. BM asked me to tell her what SD was saying, my guess is she was upset sd would talk with me and not her. BF is like a brick wall he wont tell her anything unless he absolutely has to so I am sooooo excited to disengage FINALLY... I am free.
BM is also upset that I make him happier it kills her... this was the last straw I dont think they where as open as we are. Not to mention sd constantly does not want to go home because "you are nice and quiet when im in trouble bm screams at me". Not to mention whats going to happen with a new baby!
I swear they must have some
I swear they must have some sort of secret society. Lol
That's how FH and I are too, no secrets, no lies, we just put it all out on the table. I'd rather know and get whatever over with than be crushed of upset he didn't talk to me about it.
And I'm just surprised at BM audacity, FH left her cause she was having an on going affair with his best friend, and she thinks he owes her the world for leaving her. Granted he wasn't the best match for her, and didn't treat her as well. He had to get a DNA test to prove he was SD dad, because the affair was going on when she was conceived.
Some peoples kids... Lol, I'm just glad I don't have to deal with her Bullsh!t anymore. I haven't has contact with her in over a month, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Doesn't your boyfriend have
Doesn't your boyfriend have an infant with BM too? Like a 9 month old?
Did they ever get the divorce finalized and a clear cut visitation/custody order in place?
Far from it ss is almost 2.
Far from it ss is almost 2. .. there is a court order but we are putting another motion in. she was awarded to move the kids and primary. It has been joint this whole time and he is following his kids.
^^^This is sooo
^^^This is sooo true!!^^^
Before FH and I got together BM walked all over FH, rather than taking time from him she refused to have SD (until I came into the picture) then it switched to she wanted more time.
He gave her an inch (because he was worried she would take SD from him) and she took a mile. Absolutely stick to the schedule.
BM still throws tantrums when FH won't let SD go see her for a few hours on our time.
been there done that it
been there done that it destroyed the kids she had no problems with them going back and forth a day here a day there... before I came along these kids where a mess. She would want them for a couple days then let him have them for 7 then two and 1 then 2 weeks. Im sad to say both bf and bm where mistified as to why their kids werent sleeping and an emotional mess! Then can I take sd fora movie on your days?... Right after bf told her notice was needed and only for special occasions. .. now it just isnt allowed. SD isnt even allowed to come over to drop stuff off for bf if she makes something, BM was not impressed about that one ill tell you!