SD is on her way over... Breathe in... Breathe out...
DH and I have been living together for 3 years (together 4 years) and we have SD every other week (50/50). Still, to this day, I DREAD her coming over every other Thursday. Last night I got a headache and felt sick to my stomach. Today, another headache. I also feel very anxious and have a knot in my stomach. She literally makes me sick! As soon as she is gone, I will feel much better. I always do. But these weeks are SOOOOOOOOOO LONG, it feels like they are never going to end!! I told DH today she needs to stay with her mother where she belongs. He said I was being an ass for no reason. I said it's not for no reason, it's because kids are annoying and I don't like them (he knew before we even got together that I don't like kids because we had been friends for a long time before we dated). He said well I love you. I said yeah I love you too but that doesn't mean I love kids. Gosh! I wish she would just freakin disappear!
She won't be a kid forever.
She won't be a kid forever.
THIS Why in the world would a
THIS
Why in the world would a parent marry someone who doesn't like kids????
Both parties made a poor choice.
We were together before he
We were together before he had the kid. Long story but we were together many years ago and then grew apart I guess you could say.. we were young at the time.. he hooked up with some trashy girl and obviously didn't use protection.. it wasn't planned.. he tried to get her to have an abortion but she wouldn't do it.. Then we got back together about a year after the kid was born. I didn't marry the kid though, I married my husband. She's just something I have to deal with.
How the kid got here doesn't
How the kid got here doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the fact that you both decided to get married knowing how you felt about kids.
He really should have walked away and found someone who at least likes children.
If you got back together
If you got back together knowing she was in the picture then sorry but you do have to deal with her. Not her fault this happened and she totally deserves to see her own father.
Right, I said she's just
Right, I said she's just something I deal with. She is here 50% of the time.
I sort of know how u feel, my
I sort of know how u feel, my partner has 2 kids, we have them alot, weekend every other weekend, and 2 week days, sometimes dread the car pulling up. But i've started to go out the evenings they are here, try meeting a friends for coffee, believe me it does feel good to have a good rant and a girlie chat. Give it a go
Don't let these people who
Don't let these people who say you both made a bad choice bully you... It's just their opinion. Doesn't make it right.
I, too, do not care for children... never really have... I decided that I wanted a career instead but always left the possibility open to stepkids or kids of my own. I ended up with a man with 4 kids... 3 boys and 1 girl. Things started out just fine... we would all go to the zoo together, Disney even...
The boys never really bothered me enough to make me say that I hate them or dread them coming over. But that SD? I feel exactly like you do... I feel dread when she's on her way over. Don't feel that way at all about the boys. The SD is such a girl and sooooooooo needy. The boys entertain themselves and don't bother anyone, not even their dad.
But when SHE comes over.... she follows him everywhere he goes. He can't even make a phone call for work without her right underneath him. And she's 8 now. Can you say CLINGY? I think it's just harder with the SDs... they tend to want their daddies all to themselves as we as stepmoms, especially those of us without kids of our own, tend to feel a little left out or even ignored when those little girls are around.
It's not forever, though... in a few years she will go boy crazy just like her trashy mother and will be more concerned with those boys than her dad. Hang in there!!!
Whether you like kids or not
Whether you like kids or not is probably not the issue. Many SM's on here dont necessarily dislike kids in general, but they dislike their OH's kid(s) for various reasons of course. I dont think having someone elses' kid(s) in your space is easy. I am sure you are not mean to children even though you prefer not to spend your time with them. When we love someone it is quite easy to look pass certain issues. You know the issue is there but you marry them anyway. You think you will be able to deal with it. No one can ever tell you to run for the hills he's got a kid. It is something you have to experience for yourself. It could easily have gone the other way where you completely fell in love with the kid. Even my mother once said she does not like other peoples children, but she would die for her own.
These people are all being
These people are all being ridiculous. If you dont like kids, you dont like kids. Dont let all these idiots tell you that means you should never have married your hubby. Ridiculous.
I love my husband, but do NOT love my step daughter. I hate having her for weeks at a time. DH works and I'm stuck for 12 hours a day "babysitting" his daughter. There's nothing wrong with dreading the weeks you have her. I still dont understand how people can say they love their skids as much as bio children.
I agree. It is the exception
I agree. It is the exception not the rule that people love their step kids like their own. This is more common if they have been there since they were little. Really little. You come into a family unit as an outsider and you are supposed to just groove in and go with the flow. The flow may not be your own flow and the things start to go pear shaped. Having a supportive spouse is the key, I think, even if the spouse is weak on discipline.