I wish I had the courage that some of you have
Its been almost 2 years since my husbands Step daughter and her husband have been to my husbands home. I told myself this is a new start to be open minded. As always I felt very sick about them coming, I guess I new what was to come. I kept telling myself you will be ok. My husband had to go back to work and it left me here with them for 3 days just them and me. Nothing had changed. I had asked my husband before that when they come to visit for him to please be here. I'm not to sure if they like me or not, I think its more of a money issue with them. They don't talk bad about me to my face. What they do, do is talk bad about my husband. They don't like how he treats me, how I jump every time he asks me to do something. The son n law told me I should take half of everything my husband owns and leave. I told him I'm here because I love my husband , not what he has. My husband lost his wife to death, This has been hard for me and being an adult step parent also. The son n law told me that when my husband goes to there home that my husband always tells his daughter how much she reminds him of his wife. They want me to stand up to my husband to learn to tell him no. This is my 3rd marriage I try to be a good wife and do everything right. I sometimes feel they say these things to me to hurt me or they are trying to make me look bad. I'm not to sure. The only thing I'm sure of is my husband doesn't want to here any of it. I feel sad knowing my husband will let kids adult kids get away with anything and not be there for me. I have sat and listen to my husband and his kids all talk about mom who passed, please don't get me wrong I understand death and what its like to loose someone, most of the time I feel I am a 3rd wheel, like I'm intruding in on there family. Is it me or is this the way I'm made to feel. Do I read into to much, I don't know this either. I wish I new all the answers. I wish That God could tell me what I'm supposed to do. I fell so in love with my husband, thought I wish I could have met someone like him years ago. That was in the beginning . Now he treats his adult step daughter like she is the wife and even the son n law brought this up to me along with my husband other daughter and son. I get hurt by it all, but I tell myself this is they way it supposed to be other wise it wouldn't be happening. The other night something came on TV and I thought to myself I will never have experienced that true love that one has in there life time. It does a lot for ones self-esteem. thank you for letting me put my feelings out here once again, I hope you all have a great weekend.
(((hugs))) I have never read
(((hugs)))
I have never read any of your prior story. It sounds to me like DH is at fault and they are trying to help, but I could be way wrong.
But I hear the desperation in your tone and wanted you to know someone cares. Be strong, hon.
Two things could be
Two things could be happening. One, it sounds like you are indeed extremely passive and jump at everything your DH tells you to do. Does he get angry at you in front of others? Does he yell or be mean or is cold to you when you don't fulfill one of his requests?
If so, and I was in his daughter's shoes, and if the son-in-law was a good man, I'd say the exact same thing, because to me, that's abuse.
If not, and your husband is kind and sweet and caring and you guys just reciprocate requests, then I'd say they may be trying to get you out--although the whole "Take half" would be weird if they were indeed trying to get money, since it's less for them.
I'm sorry this must all be very confusing and stressful for you.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing. Venting here can be very helpful. It has been for me. We say things on here that we would never say out loud or to our families. There is a theme that is repeated over and over here on Steptalk. It is to just be yourself. It is so easy to mold into what other people think or need you to be. Standing up for myself has always been hard. Knowing when to pick my battles and when to walk away. How to "disengage" and allow bio-parents to take care of their own children.
Currently, I am learning how to let go and do what I want when I want to do it. DH is cheering me on most of the time, but still questions me and I feel bad when he does because I want to please him. I want to be a good wife. I love him. End of story. Loving him doesn't mean I disappear into the black hole of the "obedient wife."
Bless you and your efforts. You are not alone here on Steptalk.