Hardest thing I ever had to do!!! Some info to get started...
First off...THANK YOU to whoever started this forum!!!
I've been on this site for a long time but never really posted that much. I have learned so much from everyone on this site and thank you to all of you as well.
Just giving some info to get started and hoping to be able to contribute a lot more.
Finally found my spot to vent!!! Yay...yay...yay!!!
My SS14 has: Asperger's, ADHD, PTSD, Impulse Control Disorder with signs of Bipolar, so it may just be Bipolar soon, and learning disabilities - mostly processing issues.
Dh has full custody of SS14 and he sees BM every other weekend (she has a lot of mental issues also).
DH and I have been together for 4 years and married for 2. I have no kids. DH has 4 (3 are biological & 1 is adopted)
SS14 lives with us full time (obviously - lol) but I also have 2 SD's (23 and 23 or 24) and another SS19...none of them live with us. There are 2 different BM's...BM1 has the SD23 & SS19 both DH's biokids...BM2 has SD23 or 24 which DH adopted when she was young & SS14 DH's bio-son.
Dealing with a SK with disabilities is the hardest, most frustrating thing I have ever had to do. So many issues and problems it's ridiculous. Being a SM in general is hard enough...being a SM with a SS14 with disabilities is almost impossible in my case! Hanging on by threads at this point.
Hi Welcome to the forum.
Hi
Welcome to the forum. That's quite a list of diagnoses for SS! It must be very tough for you. I sincerely hope you have a lot of social support as parents. I also hope you have some kind of respite, weekends away, etc. You really need that. If you don't already have that in place, get it! Your relationship can only survive the double strain of being a stepfamily and coping with very complex special needs if you also nurture your relationship. Make time to care for each other and for yourselves.
Good luck and please do feel free to vent.
x
Thank you! I appreciate
Thank you! I appreciate it!!!
SS goes to the BM's place every other weekend and in the summer he's with her a bit more. It's not a relief but better than nothing. It's 10 steps backwards when he comes back. That's a whole different story.
Therapy and therapists (since ss has been 7) are constant - the thing about therapy, he actually has to use the tools he was given...extremely hard for him. SS gets 3hrs of in home therapy on one day a week & 1-2 hours on another day. Therapy for DH & I dealing with this has not gone so well. They continue to think teaching a kid life skills is "setting him up for failure." Walking out of a therapy session was more aggravating than walking in. We are working on getting another one, I hope, maybe the 5th one is the charm.
As for parents, my mother is a huge help, she's a psychiatric nurse, thank goodness for her! She's the only one around.
It's really hard to nurture our relationship, although we try. This situation is just so complicated. People will say that I married into it. Well, what they fail to realize is that SS was not this bad & 1 1/2 years ago it started to get worse. Mental illness is unpredictable, you never know what's going to happen.
I do agree with you, being a
I do agree with you, being a SM is difficult and having a SK with a disability is ten times worse.
I thought I was the only one until I found this forum, it gives me strength to move on and face new challenges.
I love sharing my experiences, achievements and my drawbacks.
You can count on this site with our help and support!!