Older SS was horrible at 6 or 7. Ended up in a life of crime including gang violence and accessory to murder. He's now deceased. no loss to the world.

SS27 was a horrible child but not mean and vicious like older brother. Ended up a homeless drunk much of the time. Now has a girlfriend with a house and a job. still a drunk. Has had violent, destructive drunken rages.

There's difficult and then there's horrible worthless POS behavior.

Somedays I really wonder why in the world I stay- here's todays and the past 2 weeks debacles that I have been dealing with...

Well isn't this just a lovely start to our Monday morning? Let me back up to two weeks ago. Change SS (now 4 1/2 years old) to go back to bio mom by putting him back in bio mom's clothes on Wednesday (he goes to bio mom on Wednesday and back to us on Saturday). No bruises. Get a text Thursday evening from bio dad (my husband) that the SS is telling bio mom that dad punched his thigh- mom sent a pic and dad forwarded it to me that shows a bruise on his thigh- I took one look at the pic and said it was a bite mark-. Child has a behavioralist- at some point in time ss told behavioralist that bio dad punched him and that is how he got the bruise. Behavioralist calls CYS at some point- Saturday approx 2 hours before pickup, CYS calls DH. DH calls me says be careful at custody exchange someone called CYS. I go and pick up SS from bio mom's bf- no issues- did ask him what was up and if he really wanted to come to our house- he says what do you mean? I asked- answer me yes or no- did your daddy hit you- ss starts crying-no daddy didn't hit me I lied. Asked what happened- he says he doesn't know.

SS has a fairly good week with us- Tuesday evening- riding in daddy's truck- ss goes daddy- BIO mom's name (He calls her by her first and last name for some reason!_WEIRD!)- told me to lie- I really got bit by the dog. Wednesday comes and CYS comes to our house and wants to hear our side of the story right before custody exchange. Advised CYS that he has no bruises Wed. Thurs- we get text with pic- Sat after exchange we took our own pics too (still looked like a bite)- Show CYS all the pics- CYS agrees it is a bite mark. At some point while we had SS- Bio mom informed DH that it was not her that called CYS- SURPRISE- bc she is normally the caller- come to find out it was the behavioralis- bio mom also states she was being kicked out of living in the basement of bf's parents house because their dog that she rescued attacked the upstairs dog that belongs to bf's parents even though she got rid of the dog. (Now I know the dog is vicious.)

Mom takes custody Wednesday with no incident. Saturday I did the exchange with bio mom's bf and he says "good luck- you're in for a hell of a week- It's been nothing but attitude, crying fits, breaking toys, being bad, lying, swearing, and self-injury (hits head with closed fists and bangs head off floor) I say great- and the direct my attention to ss. I talk to SS in front of bio mom's bf and ask what is going on- he says nothing just mad- ask what he's mad about- don't wanna talk about it- ss has head down speaking softly and getting frustrated. Get SS in my car- asks if he can go to parade that is going on at the time- told him no because he hadn't been good for bio mom- go for 5 mins down road and his mood completely 180's asks to listening to music- asking what we are going to do - laughing- telling jokes- etc. etc. (like normal and how it usually is after exchange)Ask him when we are almost home if he wants to talk about his time with bio mom and her bf he says nope- that he had an okay week and that was that.

Saturday evening bio dad works til 7a on Sunday morning. We go to bed with no issues- and wake up Sunday morning around 8am- Bio dad had extra paperwork and ends up getting home around 10am- so him and I got extra cartoon time - everyone gets cleaned up and we have a pretty good Sunday morning and afternoon- SS gets a little attitude early in the evening- but nothing out of the normal- right before bed on Sunday evening- we read bed time stories and talked about how good of a day we were going to have tomorrow- (bed time story was about sharing- something ss struggles to do at daycare and with bio mom's daughter now 2 years old- who is supposedly bio mom's bf's daughter but has bio mom's last name- WEIRD- we end up reading the story twice- daddy read first and I asked ss to pick out what book he wanted me to read and he wanted the sharing book again-)give him lots of hugs and kisses and we all go to bed.

So now it's Monday morning- the hustle and bustle of both of us out the door by 6:30 am w/ ss going to daycare- initially I was going to take SS to daycare- so DH could get to work early- we are all putting on shoes and SS throws a fit about wanting daddy to take him to daycare- DH is not a morning person and will do anything to avoid confrontation- DH says, ok Son, if you promise to have a good day at daycare- I'll take and pick you up from daycare- ss says okay- DH tells me to have a good day bc ss is going to have a good one ss agrees- give them both lovings and I come to work as they go to daycare. I get a call 10 mins to 7- We both start work at 7- that ss won't go into daycare- is screaming crying throwing a fit throwing things hitting and kicking bio dad won't get out of the truck etc.. Bio dad asks me to talk to him- all he's doing is grunting and making noises on the phone- tell him to go into daycare to have a good day and I'll see about going on a bike ride with a good day tonight (something that normally works for him) and he says no I dont want to. Bio dad says can you come to daycare-? I say sure- leave work and go to daycare- I pull in parking lot to find dad re-buckling child into seat and saying you're going to your mother's I'm already late for work- and bio mom's house is 1/2 hour away) Tell child bye and tear off back to work as I myself am late now.

Get a call from DH that ss is with Bio Mom but threw a fit going back to her as well- didn't want to go with her- etc. same that was at daycare- then DH jumps down my throat saying that I have no right to be pissed in this situation bc I'm not the one that had to take off work to handle ss and that it's no one's fault that ss has this kind of behavior- that I need to stop hating bio mom- even though I'm convinced that her repeated lying to child and others in front of child and telling child to lie and her non-discipline of child has created this monster that we saw today- UGH!

So now wtf do we do? DH lost 1 1/2 hours of work from running ss back to bio mom and if he already did not have a good week with her last week- it's just going to make the situation worse- neither bio mom or DH want the behavioralist anymore- and i know that there is something mentally wrong with child (but bio mom doesn't want to do any testings or get him any help).

Now DH just calls me and asks me to pick up ss from bm's bc ss is being a pain in the ass for her and she doesn't want to have to deal with it either- and DH is going to be coming home late most likely due to more flooding in the area.... great let me deal with the shit....

I'm so sick of putting my all into this child and DH and ending up feeling like total shit bc no matter what I do- child and DH are always right- I love them both to the moon and back a zillion times- but days like this really make me wonder- WTF did I do and get myself into almost 4 years ago?

SS7, soon to be 8. I've been in his life since he was 2.5 - he was off the charts bad from the start, no parenting, no discipline, the prodigal son. Parents refused to do anything or get him checked. Had problems in school in K - almost got held back, passed Grade 1 with a 52% with many subjects in falls far below standard, completed grade 2 - grade 2 teacher put the boots to BM and DH - daily red marks, emails, phone calls, finally got them to get him checked, put him on ADHD meds (no parenting changes though) he finished out the grade.

they took him off the pills for the summer, why should we get a break - sigh. right back to 'normal'

went shopping and out for lunch yesterday, was reminded why I used to refuse doing that, going to go back to refusing to be in public - i have no authority, I am ashamed to be in public with an almost 8 year old who is out of control and whose parent in charge turns the other cheek.

I hate him around my two bios. BD13 has nothing to do with him but BD9 takes the brunt of his verbal abuse.

This weekend, as much as I love DH, and believe me, I love this man for anything less I wouldn't be sticking around, but I was thinking, if things continue to progress as they have so far, and I see no attempts from either DH or BM to correct anything, I may be faced with leaving my husband because of his son.

Yes, I'm going through something bad however, getting marriage counseling with DH on how to deal with the issue.

Found out last week, my SS is a sociopath who is now a convicted sex offender. He's in prison doing a 4-6 year sentence with a possibility of parole in September (he won't get it due to the severity of his crimes). He was convicted of two counts of felonious sexual assault of a minor (13 years old-once at our house and once at her house) and one count of enticement (done on Facebook through private message).

My counselor worked with the prison system with sex offenders and to say the least, she told my DH that his son is not only a sociopath but, if out, will probably do the same crime again. He can't feel remorse and even then, it's feigned. He only uses people for their money and fakes any kind of love because he doesn't FEEL love. Sadly, my counselor said that if SS moved in with us, he'd take advantage of us and we'd be living with what we lived with before. My DH had to have the truth told to him and he knew that his son was beyond any help that anyone could give him. DH has to talk to his mother (SS's grandmother) and tell her to leave him alone until he fixes himself. The GM and DH have enabled the behavior severely to the point that finally my counselor said, "STOP IT!!" DH thought that he failed his son; no, he didn't fail him and that was told TO him. SS failed HIM...and he's not going to get any better at all. Sadly, he's beyond repair and my DH now knows that. He is sad, he is helpless that he can't do anything for him and the counselor said it was time for him to make his way into the world without his family. Sad, but true.

Yeah, my DH was being "abused" by his son mentally and now the son is in prison away from his family. I'm sad that this happened but I was right. SS is a sociopath who was born this way and I hope down the road, he will get the help he so desperately needs, not from us, but from those who have the experience of dealing with this.

You need to do what is best for your children, not yourself. Those children come first and if leaving is an option, leave him. You should NOT put up with the abuse of an 8 year old who needs his butt straightened up.

(((HUGS)))