Funny how BM thinks DH will do her favors ..
Forums:
BM just sent this email to DH:
"Can I pick my daughters up tonight instead of tomorrow morning? It would save me a trip to the day care in the morning."
LoL .. like they're suddenly all friendly and doing each other favors? DH is considering not even replying .. but I'm wondering if he should. We're planning to take the skids to the movies tonight (Monsters U is opening tonight and they've been saving allowance to go).
I don't want her to just show up if he doesn't respond with an affirmative no. She's had a tendency to do that lately.
I say don't respond. If she
I say don't respond. If she shows up without getting confirmation from DH then that's on her. Just tell her that you guys have plans and she can pick the children up in the morning as planned.
This reminds me of a time
This reminds me of a time shortly after the exH and I split up. It was his weekend with DD and he wanted me to get her back Saturday night instead of Sunday night. I had plans and told him I could not do it. I got the impression from him that he didn't care that I had plans and he was going to drop her off anyway. I made sure that I wasn't home and spent the night at a friend's house. I was right, exH did come to the apartment to drop DD off, and I wasn't there. I had silenced my phone because I didn't want to be bothered with it ringing off the hook all night. When I woke up I had 6 voicemails from the ex wanting to know where I was and why I wasn't there to get DD. Next time I talked to him I just reminded him that I had told him I had plans and couldn't get her back early. That was the last time he pulled that crap.
The only downside to that is
The only downside to that is that if she shows up and we're home, and the skids see her, it creates an extremely difficult situation.
It doesn't matter that she has no right to be there or to even ask to get them early, the skids just see Daddy saying no and not letting them spend time with their mom. And she will certainly use that as a PAS opportunity.
It's a no-win if she actually shows up.
That's true....maybe
That's true....maybe responding and saying that you already have plans with the girls tonight and that she will have to wait until the morning to get them?
Yeah, that's my thought.
Yeah, that's my thought. We'll see .. DH will likely ignore her anyway
Or another option would be to
Or another option would be to tell her, if she shows up, that you have plans and let her be the one to look like an ass by not allowing the kids to see a movie that they've saved for? I don't know which would go over better. Probably just best to tell her you have plans and she can't get them tonight and leave it at that. Saves drama...at least as far as the kids are concerned. I'm sure she'll still cause drama via message.
She'd just promise to take
She'd just promise to take the kids to the movie anyway .. and not make them spend their allowance.
The only thing that will go over WELL is "yes".
Another alternative is telling her she can pick them up tonight, but she has to return them a day early (Saturday at 6pm instead of Sunday at 6pm). But I know DH won't want to go down that road of negotiation again ..
Oooooh, she sounds like a
:O Oooooh, she sounds like a doozy!
She ALWAYS refers to them as
She ALWAYS refers to them as "my daughters" .. in emails, in texts, in voicemails .. it irks me, but I'm so used to it now that I tend to overlook it.
If DH ever started to refer to them that way, she would blow a gasket!
Exactly. They were "HER"
Exactly. They were "HER" children when it came to money or accomplishments. They were "YOUR (DH's) kids" when they did something wrong.
She had primary custody. Wouldn't it be more on HER if the kids weren't behaving correctly??
That would require BM to ever
That would require BM to ever admit that HER children ever did anything even remotely wrong. Didn't you know .. they're offspring of a golden uterus?
Our BM refers to DH as "MY
Our BM refers to DH as "MY CHILDRENS' FATHER" or "THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN" (meaning, HER children)
phone rings
Me: Hello?
BM: (all business-like): I need to speak with MY CHILDRENS' FATHER
Ohhhhh, how I'd love to say, "So you're sure of the paternity??"
but alas, I won't.
^^^^ had a good giggle over
^^^^ had a good giggle over this
Our BM called my FDH and left
Our BM called my FDH and left a message TELLING him to go and pick up a free TV that she found online and bring it to her house at 6PM! LOL!!! FDH ignored it! She called at LEAST 5 times that night. No notice, not even asking... TELLING! I don't know where these women get off!!!
Annnnnnnnd she just called DH
Annnnnnnnd she just called DH twice. DH and I are taking the skids to the library after school, then to dinner, then to the movie. Let her stop by if she wants .. can't cave to this crazy!
"No." You needn't explain
"No." You needn't explain why. With people like her you MUST stick to the court order.
There is no give and take
There is no give and take with some BM's, just take, take, take.
We were completely revamping our living room and most of downstairs and as we worked f/t and couldn't take any time off, we had to do the work during weekends, and we had ss every single weekend. One weekend we had to ask my PIL to have him for a few hours, as it wasn't safe for a 5 yr old to be running around, first time in 4 years my DH had asked them to babysit him for the day. BM went MENTAL, telling DH "How dare you use your weekends to do DIY, you should take holidays or do it in the week when you haven't gotten ss..." She also wanted to know how we could afford to do the work, how much we were spending and asked for more CS. I particularly liked the part where she told SS that we didn't want him around (that's why we were asking PIL to look after him), he proceeded to sulk the entire weekend and wouldn't speak to anyone except DH and then for the duration of our renovation and the summer she was a basket case - chopping and changing P/U and D/O, when we could/couldn't have ss. I ended up on the floor literally in tears because of the stress and harassment from BM and the behaviour of ss! It was horrendous.
I hope you managed to have a peaceful and enjoyable time in the end OP
That's what DH ended up
That's what DH ended up doing. After her calls and texts following her email, he replied to her email and said "No, we'll stick to the agreed upon plan".
Not sure if showed up at the house anyway or not since we weren't there