A rant..And in need of some input.
So I think my SO said a shitty comment regarding me...
SO was talking to his mom and I didn't hear the whole conversation. I only heard her ask, Why doesn't she take them? His response is "Because she doesn't want to get up in the morning." (this is in reference to taking HIS kids to school in the morning)It was said with some attitude.
RANT HERE:
Um excuse me you moron? These are NOT my kids. It is YOUR responsibility to get them where they need to go. I do a whole hell of a lot for them already. I cook for them, clean up after them, do their laundry all the while you sit in our bed playing your stupid little game and Watching TV. I have to constantly be after YOU to make sure what needs to get done with them does. I'm constantly saying- Did the kids get their baths? You know its close to their bed time. Not only do I tell you this and you just yell "******, *****, it's time for bed" and I am still the one who runs after them, to make sure they change into nightclothes, pull ups etc... EVEN TUCK THEM IN AND KISS THEM GOOD NIGHT, MAKE SURE THEY HAVE THEIR STUFFED ANIMALS. I did not spend 9 years and thousands of dollars of my own earned money on birth control to take care of YOUR KIDS. I do not mind helping. Not at all. I do enjoy it. I do love these kids, but I'm not here so you can get out of YOUR responsibility. Its not going to happen sucker. And every time you push more of your responsibility on me the less I will ultimately do. Oh your tired in the morning? And in a bad mood because you didn't get any sleep and you hate to be rushed? Well honey bunny, put down your effin phone and try to get some sleep. Turn off the frakking t.v. since your main complaint is how wrapped up you get into shows. Have a fucking cup of sleepy time tea. I don't know. Its not my problem. But what my problem is you thinking I should play mom, to a litter of kids that ain't mine. I'm step mom. Hell we are not even married. So am I really even that?
I don't know. Should I ask him if that was about me? Should I ask him what that was meant to sound like if it was? Am I just thinking to much? How should I handle this?
I dunno. Just tired of putting myself out there to be taken advantage of.
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Comments
I would definitely confront
I would definitely confront him about this. How dare he speak to bm like that about you when you do so much for his kids. Time for you to step back a bit - you can still be there for the kids as it seems you have a good relationship with them but I would stop doing things for them like getting them to bed etc. time for their dad to step up and I think he will be less likely to take you for granted and will start appreciating what you do because you are def being taken for granted at the moment.
I don't think his comment is
I don't think his comment is the problem here. Men often answer a direct question with a direct answer. I might have answered the question, "Well, I get up at 5 to get the kids off to school because they're my kids." My DH may have answered just as yours did. From your post I hear two things 1) you'd like to get married. And 2) you'd like to have your own children? That, and lots of justified resentment because you're the one tending to all of the children's needs. How old are these children that you've been together for nine years and still caring for them as if they're very young? I'm off on that part...
This. It's exactly what I
He and I have only been
He and I have only been together for 2 years. The kids are 13,11,6 and 4. I am currently expecting. It was a "semi" planned pregnancy. I feel like he is expecting me to do more and more as time goes on. Here I am pregnant, tired, hurting and dealing with what I feel is his responsibility. I half way feel like its some sort of trap so he can get out of it. The kids, I know the little ones can only do so much, don't clean up after themselves, and he wont do it, let alone clean up after him self. We only have his kids twice a week. But those 2 days seem to cause a lot of tension in our relationship.
Yes, he is getting out our
Yes, he is getting out our parenting because you're doing it! I have been exactly where you are...minus a few kids! You definitely have your hands full! It will get better once your baby arrives because you will FEEL better. That will be huge.
My DH responds will to direct instructions (like most men, I think). "Honey, can you help SS/SD 6,4 with their teeth and set out their pjs." I know you shouldn't have to ask, but these kids are looking to you for everything, and this technique has worked well for us. Also, once the baby comes, the little ones will slowly do more things on their own. The 6 and 4 year old can find their own teddy bears, read to the baby, get diapers for you. Everyone has to help out and grow up a bit.
Try making a plan for those two days -- all the meals, activities. That helps as well.
"I feel like he is expecting
"I feel like he is expecting me to do more and more as time goes on"
In my experience this is what USUALLY happens. Cheap shot to make you look like the bad guy to his mom. But not unexpected and quite common, sadly.