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A Vent

Keepsmiling's picture

Submitted by Keepsmiling on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 2:43pm

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Adult Stepchildren

My dh had surgery to remove the upper lobe of his lung on Wednesday. Ysd and her spouse come in to see him last night. Ysd cut off all connection with us over a year ago. I called her to tell her about her dad. Ysd comes in last night and proceeds to cover my dh when he said he was cold. I immediately starting covering him up. I know it might seem petty; but she really yanks my last nerve. My OSD was there she did not try the same thing. The Ysd thinks it doesn't matter that she refused to come around for the last year. In addition SIL is giving me some heat about give her one more chance, she is young, she had noone to vent to her when her dad married me. You know I am the wicked witch of the west.This crap has been going on for almost 8 years. Not my fault; not my problem anymore. She did not want him to marry anyone. No kidding...she wants to be number 1 in his life.
Now, ysd is pregnant and of course you want to use the bathroom in his room.
I am so glad I can come here and vent.

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 3:12pm

I am so sorry about your husband... However, please know that not all cancers are terminal. I myself am a cancer survivor.....knock on wood!!
I think you can expect a lot more drama and contact with your stepdaughters. Cancer scares the crap out of most everyone, and likely your steps will have some guilt...which is a powerful mover of people. I realize your anger and can relate, but I think in this situation you should let your husband lead.. Try not to burden him with your emotions involving his dsughters, ESP the one he was estranged from....
Sit back, support your husband and yourself, and just let it unfold between them....
And come here and rant if you feel the need!!! Hugs.....

Towanda's picture

Submitted by Towanda on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 4:14pm

I am sorry about your DH cancer also.

Funny, at least she acted normal and probably a little guilty since she showed up for DH's surgery. My two step d's just took the opportunity to lay on more vile hate. Never did anything but write long letters about what an awful I am, how stupid he is for being with me (for 10 happy years), come back to them, what a jerk he is......not even," How are you?"

I never in a million years thought they would continue their campaign when they found out he was seriously ill. Never. I thought they would grow up and realize how short life is . Guess I was seriously mistaken. Their own mother died of colon cancer. You would think that just maybe, deep down inside they would have some empathy, love, remorse about the way they behaved with their dad.

Just remember they are all adults and you need to take care of yourself and your DH!

Keepsmiling's picture

Submitted by Keepsmiling on Sat, 06/01/2013 - 8:09am

StepAside thank you for your comments. My Osd is a blessing. She has been staying with me and doing anything I need. DH has not heard from ysd since she visited him in the hospital. And you can bet ysd will blame me - you know I made her feel uncomfortable.