BM says SS is F'd Up
BM just texted him that she thinks we should only get SS for the summer and not the school year. She had originally wanted to give up SS because she can't handle him. She also told DH that SS told her he was gay. He is 8 turning 9 btw. DH is one of those traditional men and hates the fact that his son could be gay. DH is the typical man. Very into sports, traditional roles at home, works in a men dominated industry, etc. Its very hard for him to see SS act somewhat feminine as he is primarily raised by BM. I don't know much about kids but I'm not sure if this is normal...SS apparently has started a club at school called the "private club"-where he and other little boys go behind the school and touch each other's privates. BM told DH this and DH freaked out. BM says we need to encourage his sexuality but DH is very adamant in trying to change him. Anyways BM says she thinks we should just take SS this summer because its not fair to Newmommy05 that SS is so messed up (her words, not mine). I don't know what shes trying to pull here, but I'm so confused...
Wait... does the school know
Wait... does the school know about this "club"???
I don't care if he's gay or
I don't care if he's gay or not .. 8 year old kids should NOT be touching other kids' private parts, male or female. Period. End of Story. I would freak out too!
^^MY POINT EXACTLY^^ My
^^MY POINT EXACTLY^^
My nephew was "touched" (by mouth) by his little best friend when he was about 7 years old. Turned out the kid had been molested by an uncle. This raises SO many red flags, I can't even think straight right now. This kid needs counseling STAT.
No 8 year old needs their
No 8 year old needs their sexuality encouraged. Gay or straight. Eight is too young to be sexually active in any way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now many gays will say that they knew they were gay at a very young age. I know that I felt different about boys from a young age but who knows if that was just cultural conditioning or the fact that I was born straight.
But a young child should never be "sexually encouraged". Tolerant of other lifestyle choices is one thing but encouraging sexuality at that age is just wrong - gay or straight.
It sounds like maybe this is
It sounds like maybe this is BM's one way to get SS away from his dad. Think about it, your ex is homophobic (at the very least to his own kid) so the last thing he wants is a gay son. Tell biodad that son is gay and that you will be oh so generous and keep son so biodad doesn't have to deal with it. Biodad says ok and now you have custody of your son with no biodad interference and you still get CS. It's a bonus for the BM.
I would seriously be checking into this story about the "private club" because I can tell you that if my son was involved I would be wanting to know who the pervert was that invented it. I would be calling the cops and child services. This is not ok. My DD4 already knows this is not ok.
Yes this could be the very
Yes this could be the very reason. But it is making DH more sure that he needs to take his son away from BM. He thinks that if he gets custody now then he still has some influence over the kid.
BM says she told the
BM says she told the principal but i'm not sure what is being done to monitor the kids. I don't even think BM thinks its wrong for kids to be touching other kids, she's more into stopping DH from discouraging SS from exploring his sexuality, and DH is more into preventing his son from being gay.
DH needs to call the school
DH needs to call the school and find out what the EFF is going on. This is NOT RIGHT
The school won't tell him
The school won't tell him anything because BM has sole legal custody
Now THAT s eff'd up. He needs
Now THAT s eff'd up. He needs to get that fixed. Their kid is sexually assaulting other kids and no one does anything about it because BM has sole custody??? That doesn't sound right.
Agreed. Call the police and
Agreed. Call the police and have them show up at the school. I'm sure that will get someone's attention.
Sole custody or not .. he is the kid's FATHER. He has every right and every responsibility to intervene and bring this to the proper authorities.
Call CPS. They don't care who
Call CPS. They don't care who has legal custody. They will force an investigation. Chances are that BM did NOT tell the school because I would think they would have to report it and there WOULD be something made out of it.
You & DH BOTH need to go talk
You & DH BOTH need to go talk to the school principal & the school counselor BEFORE you do anything. If you are only going by what BM says, hell your therapist would be on speed dial. YES both of you but let DH do all the talking & I seriously mean that because BM has sole custody.
If this is how he is at BMs, then skid is going to have some serious problems & I'm not talking regular teen attention drama, I mean serious serious issues. YOU ALL need to go to counseling before you all mess this skid up for life. Gay is not a choice at his age. It just is. And if he's acting out like this then it's because he knows he can't go to any of the adults in his proximity.
I'll talk to DH when he comes
I'll talk to DH when he comes home tonight. I don't think either one of us thought it was this serious by what you all have been saying. I guess we have been focusing on BM and her antics too much to see past all that and how SS really needs help. The thing is, BM says she has a child worker thats meeting with SS today and a psychologist meeting with him the first week in June. DH for whatever reason, doesn't believe in "those" people (CPS included) and think they are all out to help BM's case. Money aside, DH would like to obtain custody of SS but has to overcome some factors in order to do so.
Holy Crap! Then "those"
Holy Crap! Then "those" people WILL HELP BM.
How can he not believe in "those" people? They're there for the kid. If he ignores them, then trust me, BM's voice will be heard not his & somewhere they're going to come over to your house & "those" people will ask you how come your son is touching other little boys...& "those" people might start snooping around your computer table & magazine racks.
Yeah "THOSE" people. Honestly, I wonder if your man is going to call his son "THOSE PEOPLE" when the kid grows up. Your man needs a wake up call like right now.
Yeah but WishI, if the "child
Yeah but WishI, if the "child worker" is from children's services or one of it's wing agencies, then the father has no choice now but to deal with them. Once a civil worker is called in, it's game time. And if BM took the initiative to get a therapist, they'll look at BM as the saint. Hell I would too, if my DH wouldn't take this as a serious reason to be concerned. He needs to go to the school & get some record that he was at least THERE trying to just validate the story. If he does nothing, it doesn't look good for him. If he finds his own people, won't do much unless of course its a lawyer now.
DH unfortunately isn't that
DH unfortunately isn't that involved in the daily upbringing of SS. Because of our distance (9hrs) from SS and BM, and the sole legal custody that BM has, DH just isn't keep in the fold about what SS is doing on a regular basis, not that he tries to be that involved either. DH and BM don't co-parent or even parallel parent. They each do their own thing, don't keep the other informed and DH sees SS so little that he hardly even parents him when he does have his visitation. This situation is so sad. BM and DH have no clue what to do or how to go about doing it.
Out of sight, out of mind. I
Out of sight, out of mind.
I hope for this kid's sake that this is all some over-dramatized stunt and that the kid isn't really in any danger. Smh.
Actually that's not always
Actually that's not always the case. We have sole custody of skid. And children's services suggested for us to call his school & talk to the principal explaining crazy BM. DH was working so I called the agency & asked if I could do it. They said yes & if they questioned I was "only the SM" then give the principal the agents number. I also had the domestic violent unit's number too just in case.
I called the school & they immediately flagged his records in case crazy BM showed or called up. She's not allowed to enter school, ask about him & they won't give her any information on his records, report cards, etc.
BUT your DH, needs to go down to the school & talk to the principal (get her name, note down the date & time & what they said) explaining the need to validate BM's "story". That is the very least he should do for himself but more importantly, for his child.
>She also told DH that SS
>She also told DH that SS told her he was gay. He is 8 turning 9 btw.<
How does a kid that young know which team he's playing for. Heck my SS is 13 and I still don't know what team he's playing for.
When I was 8, I fantasized
When I was 8, I fantasized about having a harem that consisted of Linda Carter (Wonder Woman), Deborah Harry (Blondie), and Farrah Fawcett. Does that make me a Sultan?
LOL & "Liberace was such a
LOL & "Liberace was such a showman". Test him with a sequined tube top.
He-man? Sylvester
He-man? Sylvester Stallone?
All these icons ever did for me was make me want to raise my hands in the air and yell "By the power of Greyskull!" and "Adriaaaaaaaan!".
Rock Hudson was a bit before my time.
Yes, Sultan of Brunei of foxy
Yes, Sultan of Brunei of foxy 70-80s babes. You must have been one hell of a horny 8 year old.
Did you see the move "Elegy". LOVE that movie with Ben Kingsley, penelope cruz & Deb Harry plays Dennis Hoppers old wife. Based on a Phillip Roth novel. I think even I had a crush on Blondie's Debby!
Lol. Not making light of the
Lol. Not making light of the issue. Lol to lemons.
Shit. Wrong post sorry. Don't
Shit. Wrong post sorry. Don't know what happened with my iPhone. Life of its own.