FDH still reliving his marriage
Is it possible he still feels attachments?
I had to be the one to ask him to not go into her house anymore when picking up the kids.
He still talks to her longer on the phone than he talks to nee! With me it's all business, "where are you going? How was work?" It's 3 min or less,...
But with her he actually said once while she was crying on the phone, "what is wrong? Tell me."
Twice.he has "fixed" her problems over the phone and comforted her.
He said he wanted to do email only communication, but now he is sending and responding to texts and calling her answering her phone calls again.....
Web had planed on getting married.
First it was, waiting til I'm out of school.
Then lets not talk about it til the house is done,
Now the house is done and we are living in it together,
But now it's not "completely" done, and when I mentioned it, he said he doesn't feel as close as we used to be, that we should work to get back to what we were before then discuss marriage again,
Honestly I agreed with him when he said we didn't "talk like we used to" but I pointed out to him, that we sit next to each other on the couch for two hours after the kids go to bed with out saying a word, then I go to bed, then an hour later he comes to bed and wants to "talk".
Our sex life never changed frequency,....
I just feel like he isn't OVER his ex, or over the divorce,... It's been legally a divorce since 2008, but BM left long before that...
I'm just frustrated...
Your post is so moving. You
Your post is so moving. You sound so resigned but still hurting. I really feel for you. Really feel for you both, CH101 and theoutsider.
I guess we all have to ask ourselves whether there are enough of the good times to make this all worthwhile. For my part, the good times are so so good with SO that it just about tips the scales. But if you're crying more than you're laughing, it's time to be free. I hope that's not the case for either of you. It hurts not to be number one. But at least if you can feel like number one SOME of the time, it's a situation you can survive.
x
It's nice to know there are
It's nice to know there are others out there who experience the same thing.
I feel lost too,... I want to stay, but I wonder if it is worth it sometimes...
Sometimes it feels like he has amistress on the side. Like another life I'm not apart of,...
And his post poning the wedding over and over again,....
Makes me really wonder if he wants to marry me or just wants me around and does not want to lose me.....
I have to say that it does
I have to say that it does sound a little like he has begun to take you for granted. Not that he doesn't love you, just that he assumes you'll always be there no matter what. That's a dangerous place to be. No man (well, no person) should ever feel so comfortable that they fail to cherish the person they love.
I hope he wakes up soon.
x
I just wanted to say I read
I just wanted to say I read your post and let you know I'm terribly sorry for this confusing time you're going through. You sound like a strong woman and you seem to be very cognizant of the fact there could be troubled waters ahead.
As for your question, when I read your post I think yes, it is possible he could have some attachments. If not for her then for the "relationship" as it was. When I first dated my DH, before we got married, I would catch him treating BM as if they were the couple and not us - deferring to her with scheduling, allowing her to call at random times, letting her dictate to him what he could and could not do with his daughter. It wasn't so much that he wanted her to have that much say in his life because he CARED about her or RESPECTED her, it was because that was the relationship he had gotten USED TO because that's how they were when they were together.
If your SO wants to progress things with you then he will have to set consistent boundaries with his ex. And if you have the stomach for it, you may have to remind him every now and then about those boundaries. If he isn't consistent and you feel like you've had enough then you'll know when it's time to move on. As hard as that sounds.
Good luck!